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What to do when you DD isn't getting the position she moved teams for Pixel
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What to do when you DD isn't getting the position she moved teams for

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What to do when you DD isn't getting the position she moved teams for Empty What to do when you DD isn't getting the position she moved teams for

Post by mad-baller on 13/08/12, 09:37 pm

So, my DD is a killer forward - was top scorer for her team - and recently moved to what is without question is the best team in her age group.

The coach said yep - they want her and she can play forward...

Well, now guess what... she's been playing defender ALL THE TIME.

("We'll move her, just working some stuff out..." all kinds of assurances from the coach.)

This is without question the TOP team -

Looking for input from parents further down the road than me... do we stay with the glory or move on?

Thanks
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Post by nukem on 13/08/12, 09:50 pm

What age group?
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Post by Coach&Ref on 13/08/12, 09:52 pm

mad-baller wrote:So, my DD is a killer forward - was top scorer for her team - and recently moved to what is without question is the best team in her age group.

The coach said yep - they want her and she can play forward...

Well, now guess what... she's been playing defender ALL THE TIME.

("We'll move her, just working some stuff out..." all kinds of assurances from the coach.)

This is without question the TOP team -

Looking for input from parents further down the road than me... do we stay with the glory or move on?

Thanks

Here is something for you to consider. When kids are chosen for the ODP program (Olympic Development Program), they are asked, "How many of you are Forwards or Mids?" 95% of hands go up. Very few hands are raised when asked if they are defenders.

Believe it or not, a LOT of the best forwards can make even better outside backs. This depends on the coach's playing style, of course, but I know of at least one team who's coach told me that his leading goal scorer was his left back!


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Kids are THINKING players on the pitch, not video game characters to be moved around with a joystick by coaches.
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Post by Guest on 13/08/12, 09:54 pm

This happens a lot me often than you might think. On one hand, there's nothing wrong with playing defender. In fact, too many forwards never really learn good defense and end up as one dimensional break-away players and not much else. But if your daughter was recruited specifically to play forward (or at least at a midfield position) AND she very much dislikes being a defender, then it's time to start getting in the ear of the coach. Does that mean threatening to leave the team? No, the season hasn't even started. He may just be shuffling the deck a bit and the move could indeed be temporary. But we're talking about a select soccer coach for one of the top teams. How honest could he (or she) be, right?

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Post by mad-baller on 13/08/12, 10:00 pm

Thank you for your replies.

We're still in academy - but don't laugh, the team is legendary.

Someone else had suggested to me the coach takes top players from other teams just to pull them down. Perhaps we're a pawn and got screwed, but I think Coach&Ref has excellent insight for the long term - this is probably still the best opportunity she'll get.
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Post by Coach&Ref on 13/08/12, 10:18 pm

mad-baller wrote:Thank you for your replies.

We're still in academy - but don't laugh, the team is legendary.

Someone else had suggested to me the coach takes top players from other teams just to pull them down. Perhaps we're a pawn and got screwed, but I think Coach&Ref has excellent insight for the long term - this is probably still the best opportunity she'll get.

Just consider it "mad" before you get mad! Ask the coach what his plans are for your daughter. I wouldn't pressure him to play your daughter where she is used to. At that age, you never know where she might fit best and eventually be happiest playing.

Some coaches are very supportive of converted forwards to outside backs. Good coaches will encourage these girls to get forward when it is smart to do so. They will say things like, "Who says you can't score?" and "If you see green grass in front of you, then GO!" Very Happy

There are NUMEROUS examples in each league with outside back who are much better at attacking than defending, yet they are starters for the simple fact that the coach has developed a system around them that lets them have that freedom. An EPL example of this would be Ashley Cole from Chelsea. An even better example from La Liga is Danny Alves from FC Barcelona. TREMENDOUS player getting forward, but who is not a good defender at all. Very Happy
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Post by Guest on 13/08/12, 10:29 pm

mad-baller wrote:Thank you for your replies.

We're still in academy - but don't laugh, the team is legendary.

Someone else had suggested to me the coach takes top players from other teams just to pull them down. Perhaps we're a pawn and got screwed, but I think Coach&Ref has excellent insight for the long term - this is probably still the best opportunity she'll get.

Legendary academy team is an oxymoron. If your daughter is that young then just leave and find an honest coach. She's not going to be missing "the best opportunity she'll get"... whatever that means. If you feel like you're getting screwed then go. This is an easy one.

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Post by bigheadpena on 13/08/12, 10:33 pm

Just wondering if your kid was doing so good why did you switch teams?
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Post by mad-baller on 13/08/12, 11:03 pm

Re - why switch teams...?
I guess mostly it was get away from being a "big fish in a small pond" - and that she would do better playing on a team where every kid was excellent - Sure, you could say it was "ego" as well.
I guess the biggest question is if this team will truly stay together or worse - the coach finds another back who really wants to play back... I'll refrain from commenting about "an honest coach."
Tough decisions trying to guide your DD as best you can. It's this part of soccer I like the least.


Last edited by mad-baller on 13/08/12, 11:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Bigfoot on 13/08/12, 11:03 pm

First why is she a great forward? Size and speed or skill and ability?



If its size and speed then i would contimue on a team with a coach that is good and will teach the game, no matter the position.

Too many players grow early and slowly decline due to other girls catching up and what they could do at a young age doesnt work as they get older.



If its skill then and ability then she will eventually get to play the spot she is best at, unless you are a normal parent and think your DD is better than she really is.



Most top teams at a young age are not the best player just the biggest and fastest. and I admit there is no answer for speed but trust me the others catch up when it starts to matter.

Make sure your daughter learns the game (should be able to play mulitiple positions) and continues to develop. Until about the U-15 year its more important to develop than win, if not you will regret it later.
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Post by golgolgol on 13/08/12, 11:33 pm

mad-baller wrote:So, my DD is a killer forward - was top scorer for her team - and recently moved to what is without question is the best team in her age group.

The coach said yep - they want her and she can play forward...

Well, now guess what... she's been playing defender ALL THE TIME.

("We'll move her, just working some stuff out..." all kinds of assurances from the coach.)

This is without question the TOP team -

Looking for input from parents further down the road than me... do we stay with the glory or move on?

Thanks

Hey, you don't happen to be the author of this blog, do you?

http://soccermomrambling.blogspot.com/
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Post by bigheadpena on 13/08/12, 11:44 pm

Don't try to fit in try to make a difference.
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Post by Coach&Ref on 13/08/12, 11:54 pm

bigheadpena wrote:Don't try to fit in try to make a difference.

HEY BROTHER!!!! (reference to another post)!

I like it. I'm going to steal it. Hope its not trademarked.

Laughing
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Post by grassyknoll on 14/08/12, 12:33 am

mad-baller wrote:So, my DD is a killer forward - was top scorer for her team - and recently moved to what is without question is the best team in her age group.

The coach said yep - they want her and she can play forward...

Well, now guess what... she's been playing defender ALL THE TIME.

("We'll move her, just working some stuff out..." all kinds of assurances from the coach.)

This is without question the TOP team -

Looking for input from parents further down the road than me... do we stay with the glory or move on?

Thanks

Did you check out this top teams forwards before moving?
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Post by travelin light on 14/08/12, 06:56 am

I would think that if this team is a legendary academy team, then the coach must have some idea of what they're doing. Play it out for the season, and if your daughter is still playing defender and not enjoying her experience, then bail out. There are plenty of other teams that she could probably play mid or forward. I agree with some of the other posts that it is a good idea to encourage your child to learn to play all positions, as it teaches them the game from numerous perspectives.
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Post by SolarPower00 on 14/08/12, 07:18 am

This is so typical. We leave a team where my DD is exceling and playing with her friends....and join the super team dad wants her to play for....and now we're not happy. Shocker.

The good news is that the sister team always needs help from the top team and your DD will get plenty of opportunities to score in those games. But I'm thinking that won't satisfy your ego.
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Post by textigerfan on 14/08/12, 07:53 am

Whatever happens, just make sure SHE is having fun and bonding with the girls. No scholarships will be handed out anytime soon at that level.
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Post by DDPlays4Snacks on 14/08/12, 08:01 am

Baller-Dude, Your DD is in the academy program. If you are one year out from select, use the Fall season to visit a set of coaches and clubs you have researched and think may have something to offer for your DD's development (playing time, and skills). While doing that, find a solid skills coach that you can schedule regular weekly sessions with (hopefully the skills coach has 2 to 3 other advanced kids attending at the same time). Then, if you have found a good fit, use the Spring season to solidify relationships and position on that team.
If you are a couple years out, then visit many programs, get rid of the notion that your daughter is a "forward", can she even tie her shoes? Typecasting at an early age is limiting for full development. Play more 4v4 and 3v3, who's the forward in that scheme?

By visiting a lot of coaches and programs you are gaining insurance for the inevitable time that a team blows up prior to signing because of all the parent egos or the coach's communication short-comings. When that happens, your DD will know who she wants to play for, instead of you driving her down some ego driven path.

Oh and don't burn any bridges, which may be hard to do if you are already saying your daughter is the "killer" forward. Great coaches will evaluate players based on tendencies, current skills, coachability, and potential.
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Post by go99 on 14/08/12, 09:05 am

okay the problem with being a big fish in a little pond is it's all about you and you get what you want. Jumping to a big pond means you are no longer a big fish. She doesn't need to be given a forward position, she needs to go into practice and "take" one. It's not up to the coach it's up to the player. Now if she is clearly out playing the other forwards and not being given the opportunity then that warrants a conversation. When BB was in academy I felt like he was one of the best players on the field (midfield) but for the game the coach always played him at right back even though he was a smaller kid. I talked with the coach and he explained. He didn't see him as a defender, but he is one of the best kids on the team and very difficult to score on. If we can't get scored on we always have a chance to win so right now the "team" needs him on defense. The next season he moved him into midfield and he was a much better player. His improved defensive ability allowed him to shut a midfield down and win all of the balls. So now he can not only attack, he can prevent the other team from developing an attack. It bothered me at first but I was wrong and the coach was right
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Post by mad-baller on 14/08/12, 09:10 am

All this feedback is FANTASTIC - thank you.
She does "just need to play" - and the coach does know what he is doing.
Working on a team where ever girl is digging in and always on their toes is a much better environment.
So, I guess we'll continue to try this for a while and I'm just going to need her to get in her head she's got to earn a front-spot and learn another part of the field in the interim.
I do think the coach lied to me, but I'll just have to accept that part of it.
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Post by DrSoccer on 14/08/12, 09:12 am

being on the best team is meaningless until u16, absolutely meaningless. being with a good coach (not winning) is essential. I would move in 1 heartbeat if the coach asked your dd to come as a fwd and then moved her. Either he lied to you intentionally, or he misjudged your dds ability, or the team is run by the parents. And like another poster said a large % of top players are mids, then fwds, as the level increases (nat team, reg teams, college - not academy) players are moved from fwd or mid to defenders. Defenders are also not highly recruited by colleges.Why? because defenders are not taught to be skillful, they are destroyers not creators. If your dd can run and kick and push, then shes a great club defender. And keep in mind if your dd is on the best team as a defender she's probs not involved very much in the game, much like your goalie.
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Post by Gunner9 on 14/08/12, 09:17 am

mad-baller wrote:
I do think the coach lied to me, but I'll just have to accept that part of it.

We'd be gone in a heartbeat.

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Post by go99 on 14/08/12, 09:19 am

a few seasons ago DD's team had a forward come over that turned out to a spectacular defender and she really enjoys it. One thing to keep in mind is Defender is one of the easiest paths to a college scholorship. Forwards are dime a dozen so you had better be amazing or able to play a different position or you aren't getting one.
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Post by go99 on 14/08/12, 09:36 am

Oh and talk to the coach. Don't guess or think, know. Tell him your concerns and ask what the plan is for your DD. A good coach should be able to explain why she is where she is and what the plan is for her
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Post by bigtex75081 on 14/08/12, 09:38 am

mad-baller wrote:All this feedback is FANTASTIC - thank you.
She does "just need to play" - and the coach does know what he is doing.
Working on a team where ever girl is digging in and always on their toes is a much better environment.
So, I guess we'll continue to try this for a while and I'm just going to need her to get in her head she's got to earn a front-spot and learn another part of the field in the interim.
I do think the coach lied to me, but I'll just have to accept that part of it.
If your DD really loves this new team and she really loves playing fullback, then I think this is definitely the correct course of action. If she doesn’t though, by sticking this out, you’re potentially making a big mistake. Above all things soccer should be fun, particularly for younger children with their more delicate psyches. If this situation isn’t fun for her as things are, you need to move her.

Some of us think that our DD’s love for soccer is infinite but that’s never the case. All of us, even kids, have limits.

You better know, with a crystal clear understanding, that your DD is thrilled with her current situation. If you don’t, and you let soccer stop being fun for her because you wanted your DD on a “legendary team”, she’ll be burned out in months. The signs will be subtle at first so you better be paying close attention.

If she decides she wants to stop playing and leave the game entirely, it won’t matter which legendary academy team she USED TO play with. All that will matter is that she’s a girl that USED TO play soccer but doesn't anymore.
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