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Team First? DD First?

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Team First? DD First?

Post by Questionforyou on 18/01/14, 10:08 am

At this age should I do what is best for the team or what I think is best for my DD?
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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Guest on 18/01/14, 10:21 am

Thats a very broad question. The answer could be dependent on the situation. You might have to share a bit more if you're looking for honest feedback. If not, you'll just get speculation.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Guest on 18/01/14, 11:52 am

Lmao,at 10?

dd always first, you may play on 5 teams by the time she's done.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Lefty on 18/01/14, 01:45 pm

It is simple for any age.

The coach will put the team first.

The parent should always put their child first.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Guest on 18/01/14, 02:11 pm

i remember a line from an athlete....


he said, "when i talk about my money, they say it's a team sport. When they talk about their money, they say its a business"

same thing, your dd comes first, the team? a distant distant second, you are paying for this...

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Joe scafone on 18/01/14, 03:31 pm

If you have to ask yourself that question then probably shouldn't be a parent

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by JH01 on 18/01/14, 08:15 pm

It depends on what the parent or poster is talking about.
Please elaborate. Next you have to do what is best for your dd, but how do you know? When you make a commitment to a team, the team is first. You committed for a year to grow and learn and develop and support everyone and do what is best for the team.
If there are questions, concerns take it up with the Coach.
My dd is a forward and thats that!!!  It is best for my dd to play forward..... so if she is not winning and playing forward and scoring goals I am quitting and going to another team where it will be best for my dd. This is a parent's view, not the coach. If the coach knows what they are doing they will develop the skills for the player and basic tactics. Playing a position is bc of team needs what fits best, and what position is best vs the opposition.   anyways hope the poster gets more specific.  :)

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 18/01/14, 08:51 pm

silentparent wrote:Lmao,at 10?

dd always first, you may play on 5 teams by the time she's done.

I couldn't agree more.  Laughing

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 18/01/14, 08:52 pm

Lefty wrote:It is simple for any age.

The coach will put the team first.

The parent should always put their child first.

Preach it, brother!  Laughing

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by tacosoccer1 on 18/01/14, 09:22 pm

Some may play on 5 teams by the second season of Lake Highlands.


The parent should always put their child first.

NOT

The parent should always put their interests first.
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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 18/01/14, 09:33 pm

tacosoccer1 wrote:Some may play on 5 teams by the second season of Lake Highlands.


The parent should always put their child first.

NOT

The parent should always put their interests first.

Even if their interests are what is best for their child? Then that would mean the parent would be doing the right thing!


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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Questionforyou on 18/01/14, 09:41 pm

thatwasweird wrote:Thats a very broad question.  The answer could be dependent on the situation.  You might have to share a bit more if you're looking for honest feedback.  If not, you'll just get speculation.

Does it really matter what the situation is if I think I am doing what is best for my daughter?
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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by JH01 on 18/01/14, 10:26 pm

Finish your year and choose away.
How about teaching your kids about team and unity and working together and what a commitment is. teaching these values are very important...doing the right thing. Also teaching your kid if there are concerns or issues questions and problem how to speak to bosses or leaders or people of authority and how to solve things.

I think all you people quitting bc you think it is the best for your dd are ridiculous, its an excuse because you are big whiney babies always wanting to get their way.....you were probably never taught how to work together or deal with conflict. They go on to college and you have no influence and then they don't know how to deal or handle things..and they quit, then next club or thing they do, not working out what she wants...well then she quits that...next in her jobs that she will hopefully have , it doesn't go her way she doesnt like something she quits goes from job to job bc she doesn't know how to deal with conflict problems or issues..... now what, still think you did what was best for your dd??? in her best interest? and YES it does matter what the situation is and what you should do.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Guest on 19/01/14, 07:21 am

lol, all you "team" people really think your coach cares about your daughter. you might be embarrassed at how quickly your DD is forgotten if you leave. they cycle through dozens of kids and yours is just one out of many. you are a customer and you are paying for this. be an advocate for your kid because you are frankly the only one who will be. your kid can and will be replaced without a second thought if its better for the "team" and the coach....

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Guest on 19/01/14, 09:46 am

Questionforyou wrote:
thatwasweird wrote:Thats a very broad question.  The answer could be dependent on the situation.  You might have to share a bit more if you're looking for honest feedback.  If not, you'll just get speculation.

Does it really matter what the situation is if I think I am doing what is best for my daughter?

You posted the question and I suggested you elaborate more. You'll certainly want to do what's best for your DD, but you left the door wide open. Obviously you have a bone of contention with the coach. If you want good advice, you need to elaborate.

For one example: If you are upset because you feel it would be "best" for your daughter to get more playing time, then you need to realize the coach will always do what they feel is best for the team. This will be the case on any team you play for. If you think it is "best" for your daughter to be playing more, then the team dynamic at your current team might not be right for you and you have a decision to make come July. In that case, I would have suggested to do what makes your daughter happy. If she loves her current team and the PT isn't that big of a deal to her, then stay. If she hates life because she's getting :20 minutes of PT a game, then switch to a team where she can get more time.

So you can see the dilemma. Don't hold us to comments made if you are leaving vague posts.


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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Guest on 19/01/14, 09:57 am

The first question should be, is she happy? If she's happy and your not, too bad suck on it. Your happiness is not what she signed up for. Second if she's not happy, leave. The team will survive, the coach will survive and the for profit club will survive.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 19/01/14, 10:00 am

silentparent wrote:lol, all you "team" people really think your coach cares about your daughter. you might be embarrassed at how quickly your DD is forgotten if you leave. they cycle through dozens of kids and yours is just one out of many. you are a customer and you are paying for this. be an advocate for your kid because you are frankly the only one who will be. your kid can and will be replaced without a second thought if its better for the "team" and the coach....

Well said, SP!  Very Happy

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Guest on 19/01/14, 05:09 pm

thatwasweird wrote:
Questionforyou wrote:
thatwasweird wrote:Thats a very broad question.  The answer could be dependent on the situation.  You might have to share a bit more if you're looking for honest feedback.  If not, you'll just get speculation.

Does it really matter what the situation is if I think I am doing what is best for my daughter?

...You'll certainly want to do what's best for your DD...
...So you can see the dilemma.  Don't hold us to comments made if you are leaving vague posts.


Simply a different interpretation, but my guess is that the vagueness of the original post is intentional.  This is a parent that already knows what is best for her dd, but is worried about hurting the team.  She doesn't want you to help her decide what is best therefore no details.  She is just trying to get up the courage to do something that she knows will hurt the team and probably hurt feelings as well.

I think the consensus is to do what you think is best for your dd and accept the fact that at some point in the future you might realize that you did not do what was best for your dd.  Its called being a grown up and making decisions.  As others posted, sticking with the team that you signed with might teach some good long-term life lessons.  After all, this entire soccer experience is about more than just soccer.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by PoBoyJoe on 19/01/14, 05:29 pm

silentparent wrote:The first question should be, is she happy? If she's happy and your not, too bad suck on it. Your happiness is not what she signed up for. Second if she's not happy, leave. The team will survive, the coach will survive and the for profit club will survive.

NOW THAT IS THE TRUTH. Too many parents screw things up for the DD because the parent feels they are deserving of special treatment.
Wouldn't you agree C & R?
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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 19/01/14, 06:29 pm

PoBoyJoe wrote:
silentparent wrote:The first question should be, is she happy? If she's happy and your not, too bad suck on it. Your happiness is not what she signed up for. Second if she's not happy, leave. The team will survive, the coach will survive and the for profit club will survive.

NOW THAT IS THE TRUTH. Too many parents screw things up for the DD because the parent feels they are deserving of special treatment.
Wouldn't you agree C & R?

Obviously I don't think that, because all of the decisions I have made, WITH her input, has led to her ability now. And obviously the intensive free training I have done for some of the girls on the team have led them to get better just as their parents have told me time and again. I even remember one parent who told me specifically that his daughter wouldn't have made ODP if I hadn't taught her how to defend, especially since she had never been taught.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by sccrprntsrcrazy on 19/01/14, 08:31 pm

silentparent wrote:lol, all you "team" people really think your coach cares about your daughter. you might be embarrassed at how quickly your DD is forgotten if you leave. they cycle through dozens of kids and yours is just one out of many. you are a customer and you are paying for this. be an advocate for your kid because you are frankly the only one who will be. your kid can and will be replaced without a second thought if its better for the "team" and the coach....

Don't forget to add "Parent Politics" too add to that. Especially if you DD is on a top 5 team  Laughing 

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by PoBoyJoe on 19/01/14, 09:35 pm

• Know what is suitable to discuss with the coach: The mental and physical treatment of your child is absolutely appropriate. So is seeking advice on ways to help your child improve. And if you are concerned about your child’s behavior in the team setting, bring that up with the coach. Taboo topics: Playing time, team strategy, and discussing team members other than your child.

• Know your role: Everyone at a game is either a player, a coach, an official or a spectator. “It’s wise to choose only one of those roles at a time,” Brown says. “Some adults have the false impression that by being in a crowd, they become anonymous. People behaving poorly cannot hide.” Here’s a clue: If your child seems embarrassed by you, clean up your act.
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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 19/01/14, 09:54 pm

Citing references is your friend.

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by go99 on 19/01/14, 10:56 pm

it's simple if she is that unhappy just leave. You can get a release to rec and practice with whatever team you want. Texans will not give you a full release. You could file for one and hope the coach doesn't show up to contest. But don't let people fool you, if she is scoring goals like that most every NTX team will take her. You only have to be nice and well liked when you aren't very good.
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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 19/01/14, 11:20 pm

go99 wrote:it's simple if she is that unhappy just leave.  You can get a release to rec and practice with whatever team you want.  Texans will not give you a full release.  You could file for one and hope the coach doesn't show up to contest.  But don't let people fool you, if she is scoring goals like that most every NTX team will take her.  You only have to be nice and well liked when you aren't very good.

AMEN BROTHER.....and that is all I have to say about THAT

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