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Team First? DD First?

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Coach&Ref on 19/01/14, 11:20 pm

go99 wrote:it's simple if she is that unhappy just leave.  You can get a release to rec and practice with whatever team you want.  Texans will not give you a full release.  You could file for one and hope the coach doesn't show up to contest.  But don't let people fool you, if she is scoring goals like that most every NTX team will take her.  You only have to be nice and well liked when you aren't very good.

AMEN BROTHER.....and that is all I have to say about THAT

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by GrandTXSoccer on 20/01/14, 10:07 am

I think the question at this age and even younger is who is actually unhappy, the DD or the parent. Most of the times, not all the time, the DD's enjoyment is based upon how pleased the parent is with the way they are playing. All parents will say, "oh it's always her decision, I keep my opinions to myself and let her decide what's best," but that's really just wishful thinking. Most kids at this age want to make their parents happy so if they see their parents over on the sidelines pissed off or giving them instructions all the time they are going to feel like they are not doing a good job and that they aren't happy because crazy mom or crazy dad is not happy.

As level headed as I think I am I have no doubt that there have been times when my attitude has effected my kids attitude about things, it's human nature. You definitely need to do what's in the best interest of your DD but sometimes the role of being the parent is to help them learn how to deal with difficult situations and not always run away from a problem or just hit the reset button if you don't like the results up to this point. Short of physical or mental abuse I'd say stick it out with the current situation and then start looking around.

I do agree with quite a bit of what some folks have said, it is a business and if the coach could find a way to replace your DD with a better player mid season they would and I don't care how much he might actually like your daughter. However those aren't the rules the way NTX set this up so you have plenty of time to look around prior to being locked in. I always tell folks prior to going select to look around and guest play wherever you can and go to other practices before signing that contract. Also don't believe half of what you are told during the "recruitment" process. If you go to a coach and say I want my DD playing forward they will most likely parrot back exactly what you just said and you walk away thinking you are on the same page. They know full well that either they aren't going to be the coach for much longer or that you can't really do jack if he/she decides to play your DD in the back all the time.

I will disagree to some degree that if you are good you don't have to be nice and that any team will take you. If you are a great player AND a team player I think most any team would welcome that type of player, if you a player that thinks you are the next Alex Morgan talent wise and that everyone should be lucky to have you then you are probably going to have problems no matter where you go. My general thought is that most of the top teams all have girls that have dreams of playing on into college and beyond so the more everyone works together the more everyone will get recognized. No coach is going to bend over backwards to take on someone that is leaving a team midseason and has an attitude that they are better than everyone else. Always remember you are the person that is unhappy, not the team or teams you are looking to join. You need to adapt to them and not them adapt to you.

BTW, this is my first time back since the format change, yowza!

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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by Seven on 20/01/14, 11:58 am

Some of the people in this thread are wacko! To the the crazy posts here...then find every piece of advice they have given out in all of thier other posts then do the exact opposite .....should should be golden then
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Re: Team First? DD First?

Post by herradura on 23/01/14, 12:56 pm

I don't get what all you idiots are jockeying for. Team first? DD first? Really? I say it is parent EGO first.

If you are asking this question and your DD's interest is really primary, you should get her some extra tutoring - or have her learn a second language or learn something other than soccer. Sorry Ego Dads, female soccer pros aren't killing it as far as salaries go these days and don't go thinking college soccer is all that glamorous either - you work your burrito off and get very little reward from it - like a life long ACL injury.

Soccer for your DD should be a journey. It teaches dedication - it teaches team work - it teaches how to learn skill and strategy and execute under pressure - it creates life long friendships.  If they want to take it further, it has to be HER choice, NOT YOURS.

So check all that testosterone chest beating and ego fueled gamesmanship at the door and cherish this time with your 11yr old - it does not last long.
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