Is your coach full of it?

by Isntthatspecial 04/05/16, 02:31 pm

Unless your child is a beast and the best of the best if they are an 05G being asked to play up with 04G or 04G being asked to play up with 03G just to keep your team together your coach is full of it, when he says "they'll do fine". ( I would say this is probably true for 03/02 also) Take it from a parent who watched a solid group of high achieving DDs play up, they all lost their confidence as they were out-muscled and weighed, with each game that passed. Don't do it. Don't let your DD lose their confidence and desire to play at this stage of the game. You owe it to your child to make sure you are doing the right thing, not the easy or social thing. My advise is seek out teams playing their age before deciding to play up. There are a lot of them out there looking for players. There is a big difference in body types and skill levels between these age groups.

by FCsoccer1 05/05/16, 08:22 am

by Isntthatspecial 05/05/16, 09:42 am

by itscalledfootball 08/05/16, 11:55 pm

I think it is not as simple as just saying play AP and your DD will be happy .

I think before a decision is made the parent/child need to decide their goals and motivation . If a child is playing because they enjoy the social side of being on a team with friends is that terrible ?

If playing AP means your playing with kids in a lower grade and your goal is to play highschool ball , wouldn't this hinder you? Your freshman year you would be playing club against middle schoolers .

Talk to your coach about your concerns and goals . You will be able to tell if he is being sincere with his response . But in no way is there only one correct option.

by Isntthatspecial 09/05/16, 10:30 am

itscalledfootball wrote:I think it is not as simple as just saying play AP and your DD will be happy .

I dont disagree, this wasn't about their specific happiness. I don't think you can say one way or the other if they will be happy either way. This is about not letting yourself be deluded because your child just wants to be able to play with her friends/team and not have the stress of finding a new club. Its not going to be all roses what ever direction you take. Its a decision that should be made with as much information as possible.

itscalledfootball wrote:I think before a decision is made the parent/child need to decide their goals and motivation . If a child is playing because they enjoy the social side of being on a team with friends is that terrible ?

No its not terrible if they only want to play with their friends and see it mainly as a social club, but this isn't my point, my point is don't let your coach convince you just because. If you are concerned you should be, have good reason to be, and really need to think about whether its just a social club experience or something other. I can say losing and seeing reduced playing time can change a lot of feelings. There are clearly kids that play up and experience success doing so, it is not for everyone and I would say they are the exception to the rule.

itscalledfootball wrote:If playing AP means your playing with kids in a lower grade and your goal is to play highschool ball , wouldn't this hinder you? Your freshman year you would be playing club against middle schoolers .

Not in my opinion...First remember they will still be playing against girls their age/grade level and if you child is confident in their ability going into Freshman year, that trumps going in playing against older age group and not having confidence. However, I can only speak from experience from seeing several 04 AP play up with 03. There really is a big difference in size, strength, etc, granted some of these were 02 players at the time. You have increased chance 04 sitting on bench so less game experience, touches on ball, increased risk of injury due to bigger, stronger, faster, increased risk of parents whispering on sidelines about who shouldn't be getting playing time, generally speaking lose 1 year of development, increased risk of confidence lost due to all the above. Your choice. As I said you may have a daughter that is big and mature for her age, an exceptional player etc, but don't just take the coach's word for it, check and see what is out there. heck go to some open practices of the teams you would pay against when playing up and see what you would be up against. But also think of this, if your 04 (or what ever age) is early birth year (Jan, Feb, March, April) they will now be considered the dominate age group for that year. IF its available to you you should explore that option for your child. The point is if you are paying attention and still have concerns about your child playing up and all you are taking is the coaches word for it, that everything will be fine, the coach just may be full of it. I will concede that if you child is in 8th grade (03 in fall) playing up in 02 might be ok, especially if they have reached maturity, but as I stated my biggest concern is the 05 up to 04, and 04 up to 03 years. The maturity difference is significant.

itscalledfootball wrote: Talk to your coach about your concerns and goals . You will be able to tell if he is being sincere with his response . But in no way is there only one correct option.

Yes, do talk to your coach...just remember at this time of year they are recruiters and sales people. They are making money only if they make a team. Not to say they are dishonest, just to say they may leave somethings out of the discussion or gloss over the negatives.

by Can_I_Kick_It? 09/05/16, 10:33 am

itscalledfootball wrote:I think it is not as simple as just saying play AP and your DD will be happy .

I think before a decision is made the parent/child need to decide their goals and motivation . If a child is playing because they enjoy the social side of being on a team with friends is that terrible ?

If playing AP means your playing with kids in a lower grade and your goal is to play highschool ball , wouldn't this hinder you? Your freshman year you would be playing club against middle schoolers .

Talk to your coach about your concerns and goals . You will be able to tell if he is being sincere with his response . But in no way is there only one correct option.

Playing with a team for social reasons is a terrible idea if you look at select like most hardworking parents do. Would you pay for your kid to go an expensive private school for social reasons or are you paying for them to get the best education possible?

To answer your second question, No, it would only hinder a player with a higher soccer IQ playing with players with a much lower soccer IQ. A dd can play up and still be in that same situation. There are players that are in lower school grades than current 04s that could have a much higher soccer IQ and could be bigger and faster as well, every situation is different. It all depends on how they've been coached or what they've done extra to prepare.

Everybody knows talking to a coach about concerns is mostly miss in a hit or miss situation. Most coaches only think about what's best for THEIR team and not what's best for your dd. There is nothing more important than the eyeball test. Don't just watch how a team practices, go see how they play! Play with them in a tournament to see how your DD might fit. Try to avoid signing with a team that your daughter hasn't had the opportunity to play with first.

But hey, what the hell do I know, this is my first damn post!

by KnKsDad 12/05/16, 02:21 pm

I could be wrong, but I don't think the difference in age will be as noticeable for younger players playing up with their teams as some may be concerned with since for the most part teams will just be ratcheting up a notch all across the board, so they'll generally just be playing the same level as the have been. With the ECNL effect, one could make the case that player size and or competition level will actually be diminished.

by JewelsBMF 13/05/16, 12:44 pm

How many times have we heard parents and coaches preaching about player development? How important is it at our daughters age, and even up until they are ready for college. If you choose to allow your daughter to play up then you take away an entire year of development from her. That alone should answer the question what age group your daughter should be in.

by Can_I_Kick_It? 13/05/16, 12:56 pm

JewelsBMF wrote:How many times have we heard parents and coaches preaching about player development? How important is it at our daughters age, and even up until they are ready for college. If you choose to allow your daughter to play up then you take away an entire year of development from her. That alone should answer the question what age group your daughter should be in.

by KnKsDad 15/05/16, 10:11 am

JewelsBMF wrote:How many times have we heard parents and coaches preaching about player development? How important is it at our daughters age, and even up until they are ready for college. If you choose to allow your daughter to play up then you take away an entire year of development from her. That alone should answer the question what age group your daughter should be in.

I respect your opinion, but how does it take away an entire year of development?

by Can_I_Kick_It? 15/05/16, 11:10 am

If your kid doesn't want to play soccer without her friends now, what is she going to do when they are done and she has another year of eligibility left? She will either quit or be forced to find a new team. If the coach truly had a dd's best interest at heart and not just HIS team he'd encourage her play age pure and just cpp to his older team to get the touches against what some of you THINK is better competition. If your dd is a world beater right now then by all means don't hold her back, play her up as high as you can, but if she's just average or just slightly above these are the player I believe US Soccer is trying to reach with the age pure changes. But, like you said that's my opinion.

by Guest 15/05/16, 12:13 pm

Let me clue all of you in on something... There is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it, and anyone who tells you that it has to be done one way vs another is too myopic to be of benefit to your DD.

Every kid is in this game for their own completely individual reason. Our job as parents is to do our best to read the tea leaves, and then do our best to guide our kids in the direction that serves their best interest as your child. Do that, and the destination won't matter, because the journey will have been well worth it.

by Guest 15/05/16, 12:20 pm

KnKsDad wrote:
JewelsBMF wrote:How many times have we heard parents and coaches preaching about player development? How important is it at our daughters age, and even up until they are ready for college. If you choose to allow your daughter to play up then you take away an entire year of development from her. That alone should answer the question what age group your daughter should be in.

I respect your opinion, but how does it take away an entire year of development?

It doesnt take away if you're a parent that doesn't soley depend on your DD's coach for her development. It takes a year away if you're a two day a week (practice only) parent/player. IMO.

by Guest 15/05/16, 12:28 pm

bwgophers wrote:Let me clue all of you in on something... There is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it, and anyone who tells you that it has to be done one way vs another is too myopic to be of benefit to your DD.

Every kid is in this game for their own completely individual reason. Our job as parents is to do our best to read the tea leaves, and then do our best to guide our kids in the direction that serves their best interest as your child. Do that, and the destination won't matter, because the journey will have been well worth it.

+1 on this post BW!

I would add that the reasons a kid is in the game can and will change as the child matures. Parents do less guiding as the kid grows into an ability to make her own decisions

I know its captain obvious material, but watching it play out in my house is a thing a beauty!

by newbiefornow 15/05/16, 04:48 pm

+2 on the post. " take away an entire year of development from her." Playing "up" especially with the imposition of Age pure is a completely individual decision. Development towards what goal? If it's toward US Soccer then they've stated pretty clearly it's expected. If it's a starting spot with Texas Tech or OSU then it may or may not be expected. If it's to allow your DD to mature at her own pace and enjoy the Sport and have the space to hone their skills under less pressure from slightly older and probably bigger opposition then that's a good choice. It's going to kind of depend on your DD.

They may want the challenge of older and stronger and they may be able for it. On the other hand they may develop fantastically when they're not getting knocked about and leap frog kids that did.

The answer is, there isn't one.

Except this. Be careful what you wish for. Every elite sport in this country and others consumes large amounts of youth in a fairly brutal and very professional way. US Soccer has decided that's what it needs to continue winning. It's right. It's also not for everyone. US Colleges are not exactly averse to winning either, so expect them to be watching. It could make US Women's soccer extraordinary but there is absolutely a price to be paid. Some kids and some parents are willing to pay it. Should they?

by Marvelousmar 15/05/16, 04:53 pm

BW is a genius so +3.

There is no magical answer that fits everyone. What's good for one kid might not be good for another. AP and age difference makes a huge difference in and around the U6 to U11 ages. As they get older and develop at different pace that difference becomes less and less.

by TatonkaBurger 16/05/16, 09:03 am

The other thing to keep in mind is that you as a parent should not make the call on your own. No offense, but you are probably new to soccer. Ask your DD's coach, your DD's skills coach, any coach you have tried out for etc. to get feedback on where they think she is in her development and what they suggest doing. Remember that their views will probably be a little more realistic than yours.

by Can_I_Kick_It? 16/05/16, 09:24 am

TatonkaBurger wrote:The other thing to keep in mind is that you as a parent should not make the call on your own. No offense, but you are probably new to soccer. Ask your DD's coach, your DD's skills coach, any coach you have tried out for etc. to get feedback on where they think she is in her development and what they suggest doing. Remember that their views will probably be a little more realistic than yours.

Good point, but not always true, especially when the masses aren't coming out to for tryouts. Select soccer is still a business and coaches will not always have a DD's best interest at heart. Some coaches just need bodies, there's plenty of proof of that throughout the majority of D1 teams this season. During important games look at how short a lot of the benches get.

by TatonkaBurger 16/05/16, 11:38 am

Can_I_Kick_It? wrote:
TatonkaBurger wrote:The other thing to keep in mind is that you as a parent should not make the call on your own. No offense, but you are probably new to soccer. Ask your DD's coach, your DD's skills coach, any coach you have tried out for etc. to get feedback on where they think she is in her development and what they suggest doing. Remember that their views will probably be a little more realistic than yours.

Good point, but not always true, especially when the masses aren't coming out to for tryouts. Select soccer is still a business and coaches will not always have a DD's best interest at heart. Some coaches just need bodies, there's plenty of proof of that throughout the majority of D1 teams this season. During important games look at how short a lot of the benches get.

You are absolutely right. You definitely need to get more than 1 opinion.

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Is your coach full of it?

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