Effective communication!

Justbecause2016 wrote:Dear coaches,
 You may want to invest a little time into this.......
http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/14-very-effective-communication-skills/

P.S. yes I am talking to you.......

TxFutbal wrote:I can only guess which club said all that..  They have to have your money to pay for all those high priced salaries.   If you don't have it in writing that your DD is offered a spot on the top team you will play for the team they are trying to build for the coach that kills all the teams he/she ever coached.  If if that doesn't do the job, the parents will finish the team off by the end of the season.  GO DA!!!!!

TxFutbal wrote:I can only guess which club said all that..  They have to have your money to pay for all those high priced salaries.   If you don't have it in writing that your DD is offered a spot on the top team you will play for the team they are trying to build for the coach that kills all the teams he/she ever coached.  If if that doesn't do the job, the parents will finish the team off by the end of the season.  GO DA!!!!!

newbiefornow wrote:go99 has a point.  Sometimes it's the content of the message not the presentation of it that's a problem. No amount of communications training is going to make that an easy or pleasant conversation.  Talent in soccer is pretty subjective and impact varies game to game so in can feel pretty arbitrary. We've been "guided" out of one team into another in the same club and "bounced". In the end it worked out well but it had no reason to.

Deep breath and "may the odds ever be in your favor" . We're 03/02 and it does get better but it's fairly brutal. USSF has significantly contributed to that by making two major changes in three years. What I can say is this can be a great way for a family to learn to cope with situations over which they have relatively little control, work in a team (of parents and kids) where in addition to working together to accomplish shared goals you're competing to be "the best" and where you're getting all kinds of external and internal feedback most of which is in the moment rather than well considered and constructive for your long term development. The learning is not cheap and may be a bit advanced for the age group but there you have it.

Kessinger wrote:I have always wondered how the top clubs would compete in the real business world with their lack of communication and organizational behavior skills.  With the exception of one or two of them that at least make a little effort, I believe that rest of them would be laughed out of town.

Sho'Nuff wrote:

Kessinger wrote:I have always wondered how the top clubs would compete in the real business world with their lack of communication and organizational behavior skills.  With the exception of one or two of them that at least make a little effort, I believe that rest of them would be laughed out of town.

I agree 100%.  

Forget about effective communication.  If you are receiving any communication, you are doing well in NTX soccer.  

This isn't the real business world though.  Nobody would pay to sign a non-compete in the business world.

go99 wrote:oh please!!  There wouldn't be as many communication problems if it wasn't for shifty, lying, manipulative parents.  How about your kid go into tryouts and practices and get what she earns instead mom and dad trying to "communicate" her a spot and playtime (this isn't directed at anyone in particular)

TxFutbal wrote:right now what I am seeing is a pure numbers game for the big clubs and which other teams they can blow up from their competitors.  offer kids a spot with the club on the 1st tryout as long as they commit to no guest play/other tryouts.  This is all fine and dandy as long as the club will tell the DD which team/coach she is playing for but no... the clubs are saying they will assign the kid to her team after she signs her contract.  Saw this last year with the '05s so this is just a continuation as the '06s migrate more into the club system.  The big 3 are just treating the girls like cattle being led to slaughter.  I am beyond disgusted.

TxFutbal wrote:

newbiefornow wrote:go99 has a point.  Sometimes it's the content of the message not the presentation of it that's a problem. No amount of communications training is going to make that an easy or pleasant conversation.  Talent in soccer is pretty subjective and impact varies game to game so in can feel pretty arbitrary. We've been "guided" out of one team into another in the same club and "bounced". In the end it worked out well but it had no reason to.

Deep breath and "may the odds ever be in your favor" . We're 03/02 and it does get better but it's fairly brutal. USSF has significantly contributed to that by making two major changes in three years. What I can say is this can be a great way for a family to learn to cope with situations over which they have relatively little control, work in a team (of parents and kids) where in addition to working together to accomplish shared goals you're competing to be "the best" and where you're getting all kinds of external and internal feedback most of which is in the moment rather than well considered and constructive for your long term development. The learning is not cheap and may be a bit advanced for the age group but there you have it.

Basically what you are saying to an 11 year old is "you are on the practice squad and you may never get to actually play with your friends".  If you do play, you will play with the "pool" coach on a lesser "team" that is cobbled together each week.  Kids learn by being in an environment that focuses on consistency.  The great teams learn how to play as a single unit who learns how to communicate verbally and non verbally with her team mates.  You can't just plug and play a kid into a "system" and expect the kid to learn how to actually play soccer.  At the older ages this can happen but only after the kid has developed the communication skills and learns that the team is stronger than the individual.

Sho'Nuff wrote:

Kessinger wrote:I have always wondered how the top clubs would compete in the real business world with their lack of communication and organizational behavior skills.  With the exception of one or two of them that at least make a little effort, I believe that rest of them would be laughed out of town.

I agree 100%.  

Forget about effective communication.  If you are receiving any communication, you are doing well in NTX soccer.  

This isn't the real business world though.  Nobody would pay to sign a non-compete in the business world.

go99 wrote:

TxFutbal wrote:

newbiefornow wrote:go99 has a point.  Sometimes it's the content of the message not the presentation of it that's a problem. No amount of communications training is going to make that an easy or pleasant conversation.  Talent in soccer is pretty subjective and impact varies game to game so in can feel pretty arbitrary. We've been "guided" out of one team into another in the same club and "bounced". In the end it worked out well but it had no reason to.

Deep breath and "may the odds ever be in your favor" . We're 03/02 and it does get better but it's fairly brutal. USSF has significantly contributed to that by making two major changes in three years. What I can say is this can be a great way for a family to learn to cope with situations over which they have relatively little control, work in a team (of parents and kids) where in addition to working together to accomplish shared goals you're competing to be "the best" and where you're getting all kinds of external and internal feedback most of which is in the moment rather than well considered and constructive for your long term development. The learning is not cheap and may be a bit advanced for the age group but there you have it.

Basically what you are saying to an 11 year old is "you are on the practice squad and you may never get to actually play with your friends".  If you do play, you will play with the "pool" coach on a lesser "team" that is cobbled together each week.  Kids learn by being in an environment that focuses on consistency.  The great teams learn how to play as a single unit who learns how to communicate verbally and non verbally with her team mates.  You can't just plug and play a kid into a "system" and expect the kid to learn how to actually play soccer.  At the older ages this can happen but only after the kid has developed the communication skills and learns that the team is stronger than the individual.

Okay I can help here YOU ARE WRONG!!! accept it, relax in it, become one with it.
You don't get to play with your friends? Make new friends or get better.  Nobody owes you a path to glory on the backs of your friends.  You tell the 11 yr old to put in the work if he wants to play with and keep up with the top kids.  To remember that spot when she is watching tv, playing on snapchat etc.  If you want it go get it and stop expecting someone to give it too you.

Next, lesser team? ever stop to think that if you can't get the minutes that is the level you are currently at.  You can't look down on the level until you can at least surpass it.

Finally NOBODY cares about great teams.  Not the DA, not the national team and not college coaches.  This isn't about building top TEAMS it is about building top PLAYERS.  If your kid is a product of a SYSTEM she is already done.  What is she going to take that SYSTEM to her college with her?  

Now with that being said the backroom deals, guarantees, shady dealings, shifty parents and coaches tilting the playing field is all happening right now.  NTX soccer is harsh and unfair.  It is not the meritocracy it should be, but life's unfair.  Stop crying, put on your big girl pants and get to work.  Be better than your peers and the rest will take care of itself

bigrobdsp wrote:

Sho'Nuff wrote:

Kessinger wrote:I have always wondered how the top clubs would compete in the real business world with their lack of communication and organizational behavior skills.  With the exception of one or two of them that at least make a little effort, I believe that rest of them would be laughed out of town.

I agree 100%.  

Forget about effective communication.  If you are receiving any communication, you are doing well in NTX soccer.  

This isn't the real business world though.  Nobody would pay to sign a non-compete in the business world.

I have always contented that, when I retire, I could buy a club, run it correctly, and put all of the others out of business. I know I am missing something. I am just sure that someone smarter than me has tried this and failed. BUT, I have never seen a club or team that I am not just convinced that I could run better. I'm just 100% sure that you could make the players (mostly) happy, do whats (mostly) best for the girls, do whats (mostly) best for the coaches, and probably do it all while making more money than any of them do. no way to keep the parents happy, but they keep paying now so I assume they would keep paying then.

go99 wrote:

TxFutbal wrote:

newbiefornow wrote:go99 has a point.  Sometimes it's the content of the message not the presentation of it that's a problem. No amount of communications training is going to make that an easy or pleasant conversation.  Talent in soccer is pretty subjective and impact varies game to game so in can feel pretty arbitrary. We've been "guided" out of one team into another in the same club and "bounced". In the end it worked out well but it had no reason to.

Deep breath and "may the odds ever be in your favor" . We're 03/02 and it does get better but it's fairly brutal. USSF has significantly contributed to that by making two major changes in three years. What I can say is this can be a great way for a family to learn to cope with situations over which they have relatively little control, work in a team (of parents and kids) where in addition to working together to accomplish shared goals you're competing to be "the best" and where you're getting all kinds of external and internal feedback most of which is in the moment rather than well considered and constructive for your long term development. The learning is not cheap and may be a bit advanced for the age group but there you have it.

Basically what you are saying to an 11 year old is "you are on the practice squad and you may never get to actually play with your friends".  If you do play, you will play with the "pool" coach on a lesser "team" that is cobbled together each week.  Kids learn by being in an environment that focuses on consistency.  The great teams learn how to play as a single unit who learns how to communicate verbally and non verbally with her team mates.  You can't just plug and play a kid into a "system" and expect the kid to learn how to actually play soccer.  At the older ages this can happen but only after the kid has developed the communication skills and learns that the team is stronger than the individual.

Okay I can help here YOU ARE WRONG!!! accept it, relax in it, become one with it.
You don't get to play with your friends? Make new friends or get better.  Nobody owes you a path to glory on the backs of your friends.  You tell the 11 yr old to put in the work if he wants to play with and keep up with the top kids.  To remember that spot when she is watching tv, playing on snapchat etc.  If you want it go get it and stop expecting someone to give it too you.

Next, lesser team? ever stop to think that if you can't get the minutes that is the level you are currently at.  You can't look down on the level until you can at least surpass it.

Finally NOBODY cares about great teams.  Not the DA, not the national team and not college coaches.  This isn't about building top TEAMS it is about building top PLAYERS.  If your kid is a product of a SYSTEM she is already done.  What is she going to take that SYSTEM to her college with her?  

Now with that being said the backroom deals, guarantees, shady dealings, shifty parents and coaches tilting the playing field is all happening right now.  NTX soccer is harsh and unfair.  It is not the meritocracy it should be, but life's unfair.  Stop crying, put on your big girl pants and get to work.  Be better than your peers and the rest will take care of itself

HomeStretch wrote:

go99 wrote:

TxFutbal wrote:

newbiefornow wrote:go99 has a point.  
Okay I can help here YOU ARE WRONG!!! accept it, relax in it, become one with it.
You don't get to play with your friends? Make new friends or get better.  Nobody owes you a path to glory on the backs of your friends.  You tell the 11 yr old to put in the work if he wants to play with and keep up with the top kids.  To remember that spot when she is watching tv, playing on snapchat etc.  If you want it go get it and stop expecting someone to give it too you.

Next, lesser team? ever stop to think that if you can't get the minutes that is the level you are currently at.  You can't look down on the level until you can at least surpass it.

Finally NOBODY cares about great teams.  Not the DA, not the national team and not college coaches.  This isn't about building top TEAMS it is about building top PLAYERS.  If your kid is a product of a SYSTEM she is already done.  What is she going to take that SYSTEM to her college with her?  

Now with that being said the backroom deals, guarantees, shady dealings, shifty parents and coaches tilting the playing field is all happening right now.  NTX soccer is harsh and unfair.  It is not the meritocracy it should be, but life's unfair.  Stop crying, put on your big girl pants and get to work.  Be better than your peers and the rest will take care of itself

This is real talk here. Best post Ive seen here in a while. Only thing I'd slightly disagree with is great teams do matter and college coaches do care if a team is stacked with talent. When you see 100+ coaches lining a sideline it's usually because at least one team is considered loaded. It's a lot easier to show well in certain positions on a good team than a bad one, and a great team is going to get a helluva a lot more chances to show what their individual players can do.

You must not care about your girls/daughter development.  At 10-11 yrs old soccer has much more of a social aspect to it than it does with boys.  I know first hand as I have a son that rose thru the system and is now playing college ball and a DD who is on her journey.  Girls absolutely care who they play with, who their friends are, and what their friends think.  Girls who learn how to communicate, hold each other accountable, and learn how to resolve conflict excel in their adult life.   They also create great atmospheres to maximize their soccer development and provide them the tools to become part of that .1% of the girls that take soccer to the highest levels.  Soccer is not all about skill. Being the best at any sport is more about effective decision management.  Tony Romo vs. Troy Aikman is a perfect example.  

My point is DA is too young for 10-11 yr olds. With US Soccer trying to ruin ECNL, LH, PPL, Primetime you are going to kill the sport for the masses.  Soccer is a great sport and girls arguably play it better than boys.  Please don't ruin it because you are trying a grab power over the clubs that are truly focused on developing the kid vs. developing a soccer android.