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Help with Player who "Quits"

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Help with Player who "Quits" Empty Help with Player who "Quits"

Post by renee on 03/01/19, 02:57 pm

We have a U11 player who is very talented and great soccer player, and generally a pleasure to be around and works hard.  
The problem we seem to face is when things get tough for her she bails.  For example, we were playing in a tournament and she was
clearly tired, and she ended up playing the person and not the ball, and getting fouls called.  We pulled her out so she could take a break.
She gets mad and get an attitude and doesn't want to do anything.  Example 2:  Today, we were doing speed and agility assessment and she
smarted off to the trainer because she wasn't listening to his instructions and she quit the assessment with only 10 minutes left.  Her parents got on to her, but didn't make her go back in and
finish... they do this a lot, they will reprimand her, but not make her complete what she was doing.  

Any advice on when we see the melt down coming, how to divert her before she melts down completely and wants to quit?
She loves the game, she loves playing... we love her, we just want to help her... because its a disruption to everyone around

Thanks in advance Smile

renee
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Post by Zizou on 03/01/19, 05:02 pm

The coach need to first communicate with the parents so their is a suitable plan in place understood by all involved.

Second, coach needs to proactive communication with the player allowing the player ownership of how best to identify when she/he is feeling frustrated or angry and coping skills on her/him to work her/his way back into play.

Third,this is a very young player that might not be ready for the competitive level she/he is playing at.

Just my opinion, please protect and foster this young mind.

Good Luck!

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Post by DeltaTauChi on 03/01/19, 10:36 pm

She needs to know there are consequences for her actions.  Coach needs to pull her aside before the start of the next practice and tell her that when she throws one of her hissy fits, she is quitting on her teammates.  Next time she quits on her teammates, the cost will be sitting on the bench the entire next game.  Next time she starts to go South, the coach needs to give her a single warning about what they discussed.  If the kid keeps going South, nothing more is said, and when the next game comes around, the coach should treat everything as business as usual, except that he never plays the kid.  Most kids will get the message after 1 or 2 occurrences, and if they truly love the game, will figure it out.  If they don't, well, like the kid or not, that kid has bigger problems in life than soccer, and the team will be better off in the long run without her.

A good Coach will also communicate the issue and the plan to the parents ahead of time.  If the parents aren't on board, well, then again, the parents and the kid have a bigger problem than soccer, and again, the team will be better in the long run if they move on to the next team/coach that is willing to put up with the behavior.

__________________________________________________
Bluto's right.  Psychotic, but absolutely right.
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Post by txsoccerloco on 04/01/19, 07:59 am

DeltaTauChi wrote:She needs to know there are consequences for her actions.  Coach needs to pull her aside before the start of the next practice and tell her that when she throws one of her hissy fits, she is quitting on her teammates.  Next time she quits on her teammates, the cost will be sitting on the bench the entire next game.  Next time she starts to go South, the coach needs to give her a single warning about what they discussed.  If the kid keeps going South, nothing more is said, and when the next game comes around, the coach should treat everything as business as usual, except that he never plays the kid.  Most kids will get the message after 1 or 2 occurrences, and if they truly love the game, will figure it out.  If they don't, well, like the kid or not, that kid has bigger problems in life than soccer, and the team will be better off in the long run without her.

A good Coach will also communicate the issue and the plan to the parents ahead of time.  If the parents aren't on board, well, then again, the parents and the kid have a bigger problem than soccer, and again, the team will be better in the long run if they move on to the next team/coach that is willing to put up with the behavior.


we have a winner, perfectly stated

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Post by Lefty on 04/01/19, 10:44 am

DeltaTauChi wrote:She needs to know there are consequences for her actions.  Coach needs to pull her aside before the start of the next practice and tell her that when she throws one of her hissy fits, she is quitting on her teammates.  Next time she quits on her teammates, the cost will be sitting on the bench the entire next game.  Next time she starts to go South, the coach needs to give her a single warning about what they discussed.  If the kid keeps going South, nothing more is said, and when the next game comes around, the coach should treat everything as business as usual, except that he never plays the kid.  Most kids will get the message after 1 or 2 occurrences, and if they truly love the game, will figure it out.  If they don't, well, like the kid or not, that kid has bigger problems in life than soccer, and the team will be better off in the long run without her.

A good Coach will also communicate the issue and the plan to the parents ahead of time.  If the parents aren't on board, well, then again, the parents and the kid have a bigger problem than soccer, and again, the team will be better in the long run if they move on to the next team/coach that is willing to put up with the behavior.

Agree.  

Best case scenario of the way a lot of things in life work only in many cases they will NOT get the communication of expectations up front or the warnings, just a relegation to the bench or a quick 'your time is up here'.

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Post by Checkpoint Charlie on 04/01/19, 04:57 pm



#MAGA
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Post by coachdom23 on 05/01/19, 08:42 am

Sounds like her parents do not need to be there during training.
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Post by Hersoccerdad on 10/02/19, 08:16 pm

[quote="DeltaTauChi"]She needs to know there are consequences for her actions.  Coach needs to pull her aside before the start of the next practice and tell her that when she throws one of her hissy fits, she is quitting on her teammates.  Next time she quits on her teammates, the cost will be sitting on the bench the entire next game.  Next time she starts to go South, the coach needs to give her a single warning about what they discussed.  If the kid keeps going South, nothing more is said, and when the next game comes around, the coach should treat everything as business as usual, except that he never plays the kid.  Most kids will get the message after 1 or 2 occurrences, and if they truly love the game, will figure it out.  If they don't, well, like the kid or not, that kid has bigger problems in life than soccer, and the team will be better off in the long run without her.

A good Coach will also communicate the issue and the plan to the parents ahead of time.  If the parents aren't on board, well, then again, the parents and the kid have a bigger problem than soccer, and again, the team will be better in the long run if they move on to the next team/coach that is willing to put up with the behavior.


100%

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