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Coaching Landscape

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Coaching Landscape

Post by IAmSoccerfan on 29/01/19, 10:35 am

I've been at this soccer thing for a while now as a parent. I'm curious to get peoples take on the coaching landscape. What is the ratio of good coaches to bad coaches? I realize it's all perspective. A coach can be a real jerk but be winning and his flaws are overlooked by parents and club. Same coach with a team that's not winning and his warts are for all to see and parents have major issues with said coach. I'm starting to believe that the majority of coaches are jerks and treat their kids like crap. So many times i hear coaches yell at the kids and don't give a lot of positive feedback. I'm fine with a coach getting on my kid, but give her some correction instead of just telling her she messed up. I see coaches yank kids out of a game for making a mistake, yelling at them and not giving them correction. Rare is the coach who is tough but respected by the kids. A lot of kids seem to be playing to not make mistakes instead of being confident and being creative. It's a shame. Bottom line is that winning is everything to most clubs, coaches and parents at the cost of development and hooking up with a good coach. I know the good ones are out there and this is not directed at all coaches or anyone specific. Thoughts? What have your experiences been like?

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by ArsenalTX14 on 29/01/19, 10:59 am

A lot of kids seem to be playing to not make mistakes instead of being confident and being creative. It's a shame. Bottom line is that winning is everything to most clubs, coaches and parents at the cost of development and hooking up with a good coach.

This is the scary part ... you have 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 year old players playing out of "fear of making a mistake" rather than playing with joy and for the fun of the game.

NTX Soccer is a "business" first ... one of the 1st things that I would want to know is whether or not (Youth Soccer) is the lions share of the Coach's income. Are they "Professional Youth Coaches" who need to win-at-all-costs to insure their residual income ... or ... are they a Coach that is looking to develop, teach the game, and make soccer enjoyable for your kid?

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by ProDallas on 29/01/19, 11:32 am

I'm glad you brought this topic up, because it's important. I also see a lot of this behavior. I agree there are times coaches need to be tough. I also agree that far too often I only see coaches freaking out on little kids who have so much to learn about the game. Really good coaches, in any sport, have the ability to find the right balance between tough love, genuine teaching and positive reinforcement. They also should adapt their style to how individual kids best respond and learn. Your post and points are a good reminder for me on the perspective I want to keep in mind when making decisions about who coaches my dd.
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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by RIP Lil Peep on 29/01/19, 12:30 pm

Good topic!  I've developed a HSO on these "coaches" over a looong period of time...my theory for the elusive and rare DFW good coach is simple...they love soccer and are fantastic communicators.  Its that simple.  In turn its fun for the kids, lets them create, take risks, encourages a long term appreciation for the game and winning is typically a byproduct of the positive environment.  
The dark side is far more complex...the "yeller" as I call them are typically your full time coach because they have attempted more lucrative jobs and failed OR know they would fail so they stick with what they "know"-soccer.  The Yeller is an extremely poor communicator, thus the yelling and red face from frustration because they can't communicate their point to adults much less kids.  
Take these Yellers and transplant them to your local school. How many parents go ape shtick on that teacher for their behavior in the classroom???
Going to blow some minds with this really HSO...but just like dancing or singing-an accent does not always equate to good judges or coaches...that'll get in the kitchen of some soccer moms out there...

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by brywood on 29/01/19, 02:48 pm

Very good points and nice insight. I also look at how coaches communicate to the referees; I believe that is also an indicator of how she/he handles teaching moments as well. If screaming, yelling, talking down to the refs is far too common (especially after an obvious miscall) then the "tea leaves" must be telling you something of how the future will shape out.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Foxysoccermom on 29/01/19, 03:55 pm

I've found competent coaching tends to be lacking in Ntx. On the bright side new leagues are quite abundant.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by 07soccerdad on 29/01/19, 04:53 pm

IAmSoccerfan wrote:I've been at this soccer thing for a while now as a parent.  I'm curious to get peoples take on the coaching landscape.  What is the ratio of good coaches to bad coaches?  I realize it's all perspective.  A coach can be a real jerk but be winning and his flaws are overlooked by parents and club.  Same coach with a team that's not winning and his warts are for all to see and parents have major issues with said coach. I'm starting to believe that the majority of coaches are jerks and treat their kids like crap.  So many times i hear coaches yell at the kids and don't give a lot of positive feedback.  I'm fine with a coach getting on my kid, but give her some correction instead of just telling her she messed up.  I see coaches yank kids out of a game for making a mistake, yelling at them and not giving them correction.  Rare is the coach who is tough but respected by the kids.  A lot of kids seem to be playing to not make mistakes instead of being confident and being creative.  It's a shame.  Bottom line is that winning is everything to most clubs, coaches and parents at the cost of development and hooking up with a good coach.  I know the good ones are out there and this is not directed at all coaches or anyone specific.  Thoughts?  What have your experiences been like?

Good post. We too have been with this soccer thing in NTX for a decent while as well. My DD has also experienced the above mentioned coaching situations all too often...those that instilled fear, those that are awful communicators, those that create divisive team cultures, etc. I'm hopeful my DD finds the right team and the right coach soon so that she a)continues to play and enjoys the game for many years b)continues to develop and c)feels like part of a team. We shall see. Good luck to your DD!


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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Lefty on 30/01/19, 01:49 pm

RIP Lil Peep wrote:Good topic!  I've developed a HSO on these "coaches" over a looong period of time...my theory for the elusive and rare DFW good coach is simple...they love soccer and are fantastic communicators.  Its that simple.  In turn its fun for the kids, lets them create, take risks, encourages a long term appreciation for the game and winning is typically a byproduct of the positive environment.  
The dark side is far more complex...the "yeller" as I call them are typically your full time coach because they have attempted more lucrative jobs and failed OR know they would fail so they stick with what they "know"-soccer.  The Yeller is an extremely poor communicator, thus the yelling and red face from frustration because they can't communicate their point to adults much less kids.  
Take these Yellers and transplant them to your local school. How many parents go ape shtick on that teacher for their behavior in the classroom???
Going to blow some minds with this really HSO...but just like dancing or singing-an accent does not always equate to good judges or coaches...that'll get in the kitchen of some soccer moms out there...

Agree with your point.  

We had 3 different children go through club soccer and our experience was that the better coaches were people who were successful in life and engaged in careers, other than exclusively coaching youth soccer, particularly at the younger ages, be it teaching, sales, small business owner, etc.  They just seemed to be better balanced and have a different perspective on life relative to youth soccer.

There are a few 'professional coaches' coaching the older ages who are very good at training players for high level college programs and national pools, but you can count those on one hand.

The higher a coaches % of total income is from youth soccer, and the younger the age they are coaching, the more due diligence needed.


Last edited by Lefty on 30/01/19, 03:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by ArsenalTX14 on 30/01/19, 02:58 pm

The higher a coaches % of total income is from youth soccer, and the younger the age they are coaching, the more due diligence needed.

Yep! 100% Spot-On!!!

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by FCUSARV on 30/01/19, 09:08 pm

Yelling aside here is another hint. Is the coaches best players some of his newest players or are they the older players on the team that he has had the longest meaning the coach developed them vs acquired them and is winning in spite of himself. There are many coaches that are talent acquisitioners and can coach
Players that are high level but cannot develop them or have no interest in it.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by BENDMEOVER on 30/01/19, 09:17 pm

This sounds like a typical coach to me. Playing to win not worried about the players and getting some free perks.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Lefty on 31/01/19, 11:52 am

FCUSARV wrote:Yelling aside here is another hint. Is the coaches best players some of  his newest players or are they the older players on the team that he has had the longest meaning the coach developed them vs acquired them and is winning in spite of himself. There are many coaches that are talent acquisitioners and can coach
Players that are high level but cannot develop them or have no interest in it.

Point to consider, particularly at the younger ages.

What amount of what skillset do you want in your child's 'Coach'?
. Teacher
. Trainer
. Motivator
. Game Preparation/Strategist
. In Game Coaching
. Recruiter
. etc.


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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Foxysoccermom on 31/01/19, 01:48 pm

Most important things I look for:

Can he hold his liquor?

Does he know how to treat the ladies?

Does he give discounts?

What's it take to get my kid more playing time?
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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by smugrr on 31/01/19, 03:17 pm

Do you put yourself in the "ladies" category?

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by ItsMeAgain on 31/01/19, 04:06 pm

95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*
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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Big Ern on 31/01/19, 04:33 pm

ItsMeAgain wrote:95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*

I can't recall there ever being a more spot on example of a 'have not' on this forum.  ^ Rooouuuggghhh Sir Neutral

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by WinTheChipzRdown on 31/01/19, 07:39 pm

What Coach is next up I’m academy?
Back in my older daughter days it was DM, JD, LW, RS, AG, TD etc.

Are any coaches building strong teams with technical and tactical guidance these days in academy?

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by ItsMeAgain on 01/02/19, 10:05 am

Big Ern wrote:
ItsMeAgain wrote:95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*

I can't recall there ever being a more spot on example of a 'have not' on this forum.  ^ Rooouuuggghhh Sir Neutral

Rolling Eyes yeah........................because you know the background behind every post to the forum..........................Rolling Eyes
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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Lefty on 01/02/19, 11:05 am

ItsMeAgain wrote:95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*

Your post may be a wee bit over the top, particularly in the % it applies to,  though I have seen all the behaviors you point out frequently demonstrated by many 'coaches'.  Probably a good list of things to be on the lookout for and avoid when doing due diligence on a coach.

Have also seen a fair number of coaches who are honest and straight forward vilified because they just have poor communication/social skills or parents don't like the message.

Your advice on how to proceed sounds unrealistic for most.  Seems like a better option is to do your due diligence and find a coach who is relatively honest and straight forward and fits your DD's needs at a particular point in time.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by BENDMEOVER on 01/02/19, 07:45 pm

This is some good stuff indeed.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Big Ern on 03/02/19, 11:47 am

ItsMeAgain wrote:
Big Ern wrote:
ItsMeAgain wrote:95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*

I can't recall there ever being a more spot on example of a 'have not' on this forum.  ^ Rooouuuggghhh Sir Neutral

Rolling Eyes yeah........................because you know the background behind every post to the forum..........................Rolling Eyes

Lefty is one of the smart ones on this forum and is certainly spot on here --

This is only strengthening my case Sir ... How is this at all relevant in any argument against your title?

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Hersoccerdad on 10/02/19, 06:26 pm

FCUSARV wrote:Yelling aside here is another hint. Is the coaches best players some of  his newest players or are they the older players on the team that he has had the longest meaning the coach developed them vs acquired them and is winning in spite of himself. There are many coaches that are talent acquisitioners and can coach
Players that are high level but cannot develop them or have no interest in it.


Exactly!!!!

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Hersoccerdad on 10/02/19, 06:39 pm

Lefty wrote:
ItsMeAgain wrote:95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*

Your post may be a wee bit over the top, particularly in the % it applies to,  though I have seen all the behaviors you point out frequently demonstrated by many 'coaches'.  Probably a good list of things to be on the lookout for and avoid when doing due diligence on a coach.

Have also seen a fair number of coaches who are honest and straight forward vilified because they just have poor communication/social skills or parents don't like the message.

Your advice on how to proceed sounds unrealistic for most.  Seems like a better option is to do your due diligence and find a coach who is relatively honest and straight forward and fits your DD's needs at a particular point in time.


Very good advice. Thing is. You can look throughout the season, when you have time (who has that? Wink. And stupid NTX soccer only gives you six weeks or so to practice (and hopefully) guest play with a team to see if there's chemistry with the team and your DD.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by Lefty on 11/02/19, 12:22 pm

Hersoccerdad wrote:
Lefty wrote:
ItsMeAgain wrote:95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*

Your post may be a wee bit over the top, particularly in the % it applies to,  though I have seen all the behaviors you point out frequently demonstrated by many 'coaches'.  Probably a good list of things to be on the lookout for and avoid when doing due diligence on a coach.

Have also seen a fair number of coaches who are honest and straight forward vilified because they just have poor communication/social skills or parents don't like the message.

Your advice on how to proceed sounds unrealistic for most.  Seems like a better option is to do your due diligence and find a coach who is relatively honest and straight forward and fits your DD's needs at a particular point in time.


Very good advice. Thing is. You can look throughout the season, when you have time (who has that? Wink. And stupid NTX soccer only gives you six weeks or so to practice (and hopefully) guest play with a team to see if there's chemistry with the team and your DD.

We kind of looked at doing coaching due diligence as part of everyday soccer activity.

Listen to people, watch coaches at games, practices, tournaments, HS etc.  

Listen to what coaches say about other coaches.

You are the only one looking out for your DD's best interest.  If you are realistic about your DD's skill level, level of commitment and best coaching style for her, the list for good fits narrows down pretty quickly.

Over the years we saw the biggest blowups and bad fits happen when parents ignored the above and went with the winningest team that they could find for their DD disregarding all other factors.

A wise coach told us early on.  Have your DD go where she is wanted, valued and fits.  She will perform the best, develop the best, otherwise you are going to drain all the fun out of the game for her.  

Actually not bad advice for a number of other things besides soccer.

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Re: Coaching Landscape

Post by RIP Lil Peep on 11/02/19, 02:54 pm

Lefty wrote:
Hersoccerdad wrote:
Lefty wrote:
ItsMeAgain wrote:95%+ of all the coaches are lie, mislead, deflect, exaggerate, and all have elitist superiority complexes...............and will continue to do that even when  you call them out on it.....................nearly everything that comes out of their mouth is BS, even when you try to have honest expectations established in advance.....................my advice is to roster your kid randomly with a team at a big club as a floater for some kind of dues discount or register as a non rostered player and guest play tournaments every chance you get.....................spend your money and focus your time on academics (thats going to get you the scholarship $$$$) and skills training if you want your kid to truely develop...............its the outside effort where the kid evolves....................these coaches dont do *foul language*

Your post may be a wee bit over the top, particularly in the % it applies to,  though I have seen all the behaviors you point out frequently demonstrated by many 'coaches'.  Probably a good list of things to be on the lookout for and avoid when doing due diligence on a coach.

Have also seen a fair number of coaches who are honest and straight forward vilified because they just have poor communication/social skills or parents don't like the message.

Your advice on how to proceed sounds unrealistic for most.  Seems like a better option is to do your due diligence and find a coach who is relatively honest and straight forward and fits your DD's needs at a particular point in time.


Very good advice. Thing is. You can look throughout the season, when you have time (who has that? Wink. And stupid NTX soccer only gives you six weeks or so to practice (and hopefully) guest play with a team to see if there's chemistry with the team and your DD.

We kind of looked at doing coaching due diligence as part of everyday soccer activity.

Listen to people, watch coaches at games, practices, tournaments, HS etc.  

Listen to what coaches say about other coaches.

You are the only one looking out for your DD's best interest.  If you are realistic about your DD's skill level, level of commitment and best coaching style for her, the list for good fits narrows down pretty quickly.

Over the years we saw the biggest blowups and bad fits happen when parents ignored the above and went with the winningest team that they could find for their DD disregarding all other factors.

A wise coach told us early on.  Have your DD go where she is wanted, valued and fits.  She will perform the best, develop the best, otherwise you are going to drain all the fun out of the game for her.  

Actually not bad advice for a number of other things besides soccer.

Good sound advice...I'm sure these dual games in LH are making the loopy coaches extra loopy.  You can spot them a mile away....heard one from the parking lot the other day, got closer and he looked like a little troll with a strawberry sitting on his shoulders and a mole on it.... cherry Evil or Very Mad Mad Twisted Evil

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