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Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

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Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:03 am

Like my username says, this was our first year my son played for a club. I never played soccer growing up and when my kid started playing rec it was just to give him something to do. In his last couple of rec years it was obvious he had some kind of talent for soccer as he seemed to carry his team most games, so we decided to take a crack at competitive. My wife and I knew nothing about competitive and just responded to a facebook ad for one of the big clubs in dfw area. Not going to mention the team or coach, but it has just been an extremely frustrating experience. The coach constantly cancels practices, when he does have them his main focus is agressive playing, not a lot of technique and play making training at all. During games we have to hope we play a physically less aggressive team or less talented or we end up losing. Don't care so much about being on a badass team, I care about the development of the players and their IQ for the game. It's as if we just play kick ball during the game and the ball is just flying everywhere, sometimes I just want to walk away and I know it's not the kids fault, he has talented strong players but the team just lacks proper attention.

Anyway, this has just been our experience and now that we got our feet wet we are definitely going to be prepared to do our research and keep our options open when tryouts come around. I know its our fault, just comes with being new to this. I know I can't be the only one in this position.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by DeltaTauChi on Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:05 am

You aren't the only one, and you've got the right idea. Best thing you can do is educate yourself as much as possible.

Welcome to competitive youth sports in NTX. Each sport has it's own peculiarities, but you will find a large part of the experience very similar across any "competitive" youth entity these days.

Competitive youth sports can be an absolute meat-grinder to the unprepared and those with unrealistic expectations. IMO, the best things you can do are to educate yourself, try to always take a step back and be honest and objective with yourself about your kid's ability level and your kid's long-term goals, and have a healthy dose of perspective. If you are capable of doing what I just said, and you always remember that YOU are your kid's #1 advocate and act on that when necessary, you and your kid(s) will have a great chance at a rewarding journey.


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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:15 am

DeltaTauChi wrote:You aren't the only one, and you've got the right idea.  Best thing you can do is educate yourself as much as possible.

Welcome to competitive youth sports in NTX.  Each sport has it's own peculiarities, but you will find a large part of the experience very similar across any "competitive" youth entity these days.

Competitive youth sports can be an absolute meat-grinder to the unprepared and those with unrealistic expectations.  IMO, the best things you can do are to educate yourself, try to always take a step back and be honest and objective with yourself about your kid's ability level and your kid's long-term goals, and have a healthy dose of perspective.  If you are capable of doing what I just said, and you always remember that YOU are your kid's #1 advocate and act on that when necessary, you and your kid(s) will have a great chance at a rewarding journey.


Ofcourse, like I said I don't care if he is on a top 20 team as much as I care about him learning the IQ part of it. We will be better prepared.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by AlittleBitofSanity on Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:45 pm

first year in select feels real serious. try not to take it so serious second go round. you and your kid will enjoy it more. coaches put the kids and parents under pressure, but don't forget that you are the one who is paying. not the other way around.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by ScubaSteve on Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:18 pm

We could be on the same team. My son plays on one of the big 3 teams and they play kick ball. However the coach doesnt cancel practice, if it is bad weather they practice indoor. I'm not happy with my son's team but my son is very happy with his team and doesnt want to switch. When you play against a team that you are impressed with make a note of it and research them online.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by AlittleBitofSanity on Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:26 pm

ScubaSteve wrote:We could be on the same team.  My son plays on one of the big 3 teams and they play kick ball.  However the coach doesnt cancel practice, if it is bad weather they practice indoor.  I'm not happy with my son's team but my son is very happy with his team and doesnt want to switch.  When you play against a team that you are impressed with make a note of it and research them online.  

this is probably the main reason that teams play kick ball. everyone is trying to take their kids to the "good teams". I definitely believe there are better coaches than others, but there are definitely better players than others. Might be a bit of the Lebron effect where it is better to play with better players. most kids play kick ball because they simply panic instead of being comfortable with the ball and their skill. watch what happens next year when the best kids go to DA. you will notice a drop-off in skill at Richland in D1. it is a lot easier to pass when the other kids have the ability to lift their head up and look and are not worried about their feet. it will not be fun for you and your kid if you get caught up in top teams in your age group and scores from games. enjoy it while it lasts- your kids will be gone to college soon enough.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Tue Feb 12, 2019 7:48 pm

ScubaSteve wrote:We could be on the same team.  My son plays on one of the big 3 teams and they play kick ball.  However the coach doesnt cancel practice, if it is bad weather they practice indoor.  I'm not happy with my son's team but my son is very happy with his team and doesnt want to switch.  When you play against a team that you are impressed with make a note of it and research them online.  

Any touch on the ball is better than no touch, at least your coach does not cancel practice.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Tue Feb 12, 2019 7:55 pm

AlittleBitofSanity wrote:
ScubaSteve wrote:We could be on the same team.  My son plays on one of the big 3 teams and they play kick ball.  However the coach doesnt cancel practice, if it is bad weather they practice indoor.  I'm not happy with my son's team but my son is very happy with his team and doesnt want to switch.  When you play against a team that you are impressed with make a note of it and research them online.  

this is probably the main reason that teams play kick ball.   everyone is trying to take their kids to the "good teams".  I definitely believe there are better coaches than others, but there are definitely better players than others.   Might be a bit of the Lebron effect where it is better to play with better players.  most kids play kick ball because they simply panic instead of being comfortable with the ball and their skill.  watch what happens next year when the best kids go to DA.   you will notice a drop-off in skill at Richland in D1.  it is a lot easier to pass when the other kids have the ability to lift their head up and look and are not worried about their feet.  it will not be fun for you and your kid if you get caught up in top teams in your age group and scores from games.   enjoy it while it lasts- your kids will be gone to college soon enough.

I agree with everything you said, our expectations are on level. We came into this expecting to cover a gap seeing how it's "select". We were looking for education of the sport but seems that's not a priority on our team. I don't compare my kid to others, we know my sons capabilities and have realistic expectations. I would have been fine if he was on a team that lost all their games trying to play the game smart, than winning games based off sloppy play. Just hope we find a coach who pushes the mental aspect of the game.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by BENDMEOVER on Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:11 pm

Did we even have a season is my thought. Seems like alot hoop ha for nothing.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by FCForça on Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:26 pm

My advice...

Embrace the physical aspect of this team while you are there.  It is always there.

Embrace A hole coaches because through their life they will always have some the more competitive it gets

Don’t wait until tryouts to look. Contact a coach or club then explain your situation and ask if they would be interested in meeting.  Ensure your son is wanted as a valuable member and not a roster filler.

Ensure your son feels the same way about leaving. Let them make the decision after they have had enough time to get used to new coach / team for their culture if possible.

Enjoy and embrace it.  Life is short.  The grass isn’t greener.  Most clubs aren’t for development but for recruiting to win.    Find some off night training... futsal is especially good with a good coach.  If a parent relies only on a coach or club to develop, it won’t happen in three hours a week no matter how good the coach is.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:42 pm

FCForça wrote:My advice...

Embrace the physical aspect of this team while you are there.  It is always there.

Embrace A hole coaches because through their life they will always have some the more competitive it gets

Don’t wait until tryouts to look. Contact a coach or club then explain your situation and ask if they would be interested in meeting.  Ensure your son is wanted as a valuable member and not a roster filler.

Ensure your son feels the same way about leaving. Let them make the decision after they have had enough time to get used to new coach / team for their culture if possible.  

Enjoy and embrace it.  Life is short.  The grass isn’t greener.  Most clubs aren’t for development but for recruiting to win.    Find some off night training... futsal is especially good with a good coach.  If a parent relies only on a coach or club to develop, it won’t happen in three hours a week no matter how good the coach is.

Well spoken, it's his first year playing competitive,  I rather take him to tryouts and have him prove himself than me trying to speak for him. He trains with a group of kids on a couple of days during the week and sometimes on weekends (since his team coach cancels a lot). The coach teaches possession soccer and beats it on them to pass and not to Dribble goals. He tells us he likes playing with them because he can count on his teammates for passes and to expect plays from them. He says on the team he is on it's hard because it's not predictable.  He likes his coach and teammates but he himself says he gets frustrated sometimes.

Thanks for the advice, like I said because it's his first year I really feel kind of awkward trying to reach out for clubs on his behalf. We are going to focus on his development with that coach he trains with and throw private coaching in there also to prep him for tryouts.


Last edited by New2competitive on Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:45 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Spelling)

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by AlittleBitofSanity on Wed Feb 13, 2019 9:01 am

New2competitive wrote:
FCForça wrote:My advice...

Embrace the physical aspect of this team while you are there.  It is always there.

Embrace A hole coaches because through their life they will always have some the more competitive it gets

Don’t wait until tryouts to look. Contact a coach or club then explain your situation and ask if they would be interested in meeting.  Ensure your son is wanted as a valuable member and not a roster filler.

Ensure your son feels the same way about leaving. Let them make the decision after they have had enough time to get used to new coach / team for their culture if possible.  

Enjoy and embrace it.  Life is short.  The grass isn’t greener.  Most clubs aren’t for development but for recruiting to win.    Find some off night training... futsal is especially good with a good coach.  If a parent relies only on a coach or club to develop, it won’t happen in three hours a week no matter how good the coach is.

Well spoken, it's his first year playing competitive,  I rather take him to tryouts and have him prove himself than me trying to speak for him. He trains with a group of kids on a couple of days during the week and sometimes on weekends (since his team coach cancels a lot). The coach teaches possession soccer and beats it on them to pass and not to Dribble goals. He tells us he likes playing with them because he can count on his teammates for passes and to expect plays from them. He says on the team he is on it's hard because it's not predictable.  He likes his coach and teammates but he himself says he gets frustrated sometimes.

Thanks for the advice, like I said because it's his first year I really feel kind of awkward trying to reach out for clubs on his behalf. We are going to focus on his development with that coach he trains with and throw private coaching in there also to prep him for tryouts.


unless your son really stands out, the coaches at tryouts already know who they are going to select. I've seen some where the coach is talking with parents the whole practice and doesn't even watch the kids. its sad because you waste your time going, but it is the reality of club soccer.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by MurderWasTheCase on Wed Feb 13, 2019 9:24 am

AlittleBitofSanity wrote:
New2competitive wrote:
FCForça wrote:My advice...

Embrace the physical aspect of this team while you are there.  It is always there.

Embrace A hole coaches because through their life they will always have some the more competitive it gets

Don’t wait until tryouts to look. Contact a coach or club then explain your situation and ask if they would be interested in meeting.  Ensure your son is wanted as a valuable member and not a roster filler.

Ensure your son feels the same way about leaving. Let them make the decision after they have had enough time to get used to new coach / team for their culture if possible.  

Enjoy and embrace it.  Life is short.  The grass isn’t greener.  Most clubs aren’t for development but for recruiting to win.    Find some off night training... futsal is especially good with a good coach.  If a parent relies only on a coach or club to develop, it won’t happen in three hours a week no matter how good the coach is.

Well spoken, it's his first year playing competitive,  I rather take him to tryouts and have him prove himself than me trying to speak for him. He trains with a group of kids on a couple of days during the week and sometimes on weekends (since his team coach cancels a lot). The coach teaches possession soccer and beats it on them to pass and not to Dribble goals. He tells us he likes playing with them because he can count on his teammates for passes and to expect plays from them. He says on the team he is on it's hard because it's not predictable.  He likes his coach and teammates but he himself says he gets frustrated sometimes.

Thanks for the advice, like I said because it's his first year I really feel kind of awkward trying to reach out for clubs on his behalf. We are going to focus on his development with that coach he trains with and throw private coaching in there also to prep him for tryouts.


unless your son really stands out, the coaches at tryouts already know who they are going to select.   I've seen some where the coach is talking with parents the whole practice and doesn't even watch the kids.  its sad because you waste your time going, but it is the reality of club soccer.  

Sad but true, not to mention coaches are constantly back stabbing one another manipulating parents on moving kids from one team to the next. Classic example is TOTO SCHMUGGE at FC Dallas, the man is constantly going after inter-club parents to move their kids to his team.


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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Wed Feb 13, 2019 9:50 am

Okay, question... so when the season is over, are all players "free agents" and they basically have to re-make the same team? I'm assuming they pretty much have a pass in but in theory is that what is going on? I'm not going to set the expectation for him to join or make a D1 classic team, so I feel it opens up more doors for him.  I mean if it happens great but if not then there are other teams out there that we can do our research on should they call him up.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by Ant_Knee on Wed Feb 13, 2019 10:29 am

I would say every coach has at least a core group of kids that they plan to keep and the coach is actively making sure your BB is not going anywhere the following year.

Then there are fringe players that the coach will keep unless other talent comes along that is better suited for their team.  Fair warning, you WILL have some coaches that will not tell you this until the day before signing day because they strung you along trying to see if there was another player better suited for their team up until the very end.  I have seen a lot of hurt parents because they just assumed they were on the team going into the next year only to find out they should have been proactive in looking at other options.  Not every coach is like this but some will be.  If you haven't heard from the coach about the following year before May and June then you should either be looking for a firm commit from your current coach if you want to stay or looking at your options.  If your BB is a select player then they signed a contract and technically are not released until May but you can always be on the phone calling and texting coaches and letting them know you are looking prior to that time.

And then there are some kids that just didn't fit the team/coach mold.  But by now most parents know if their kid is fitting in with the coach, team, team development, etc.  Coaches in large clubs will make suggestions for other teams within the club because they want to keep you with the club.

As a parent I would just focus on what you believe is the best environment for your BBs development which from what I read above is the path you are on.  You also want to make sure you keep it fun and a great experience for your BB to continue to foster the passion and love for the game.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Wed Feb 13, 2019 10:50 am

Ant_Knee wrote:I would say every coach has at least a core group of kids that they plan to keep and the coach is actively making sure your BB is not going anywhere the following year.

Then there are fringe players that the coach will keep unless other talent comes along that is better suited for their team.  Fair warning, you WILL have some coaches that will not tell you this until the day before signing day because they strung you along trying to see if there was another player better suited for their team up until the very end.  I have seen a lot of hurt parents because they just assumed they were on the team going into the next year only to find out they should have been proactive in looking at other options.  Not every coach is like this but some will be.  If you haven't heard from the coach about the following year before May and June then you should either be looking for a firm commit from your current coach if you want to stay or looking at your options.  If your BB is a select player then they signed a contract and technically are not released until May but you can always be on the phone calling and texting coaches and letting them know you are looking prior to that time.

And then there are some kids that just didn't fit the team/coach mold.  But by now most parents know if their kid is fitting in with the coach, team, team development, etc.  Coaches in large clubs will make suggestions for other teams within the club because they want to keep you with the club.

As a parent I would just focus on what you believe is the best environment for your BBs development which from what I read above is the path you are on.  You also want to make sure you keep it fun and a great experience for your BB to continue to foster the passion and love for the game.

I know for a fact his coach is not expecting him to leave, he is one of the stronger players and put a lot of responsibility on him, but we aren't sticking around for sure, my son has good friendships but also gets frustrated with the lack of play making/passing. It sucks also because 2 other coaches were also intrested from same club, I turned them down because I felt wrong for backing out after we verbally committed. I looked those teams up and they are doing really good, just feel like he missed out on a lot of knowledge.

I'll look into maybe contacting some coaches though, maybe closer to season ending.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by AlittleBitofSanity on Wed Feb 13, 2019 10:58 am

New2competitive wrote:
Ant_Knee wrote:I would say every coach has at least a core group of kids that they plan to keep and the coach is actively making sure your BB is not going anywhere the following year.

Then there are fringe players that the coach will keep unless other talent comes along that is better suited for their team.  Fair warning, you WILL have some coaches that will not tell you this until the day before signing day because they strung you along trying to see if there was another player better suited for their team up until the very end.  I have seen a lot of hurt parents because they just assumed they were on the team going into the next year only to find out they should have been proactive in looking at other options.  Not every coach is like this but some will be.  If you haven't heard from the coach about the following year before May and June then you should either be looking for a firm commit from your current coach if you want to stay or looking at your options.  If your BB is a select player then they signed a contract and technically are not released until May but you can always be on the phone calling and texting coaches and letting them know you are looking prior to that time.

And then there are some kids that just didn't fit the team/coach mold.  But by now most parents know if their kid is fitting in with the coach, team, team development, etc.  Coaches in large clubs will make suggestions for other teams within the club because they want to keep you with the club.

As a parent I would just focus on what you believe is the best environment for your BBs development which from what I read above is the path you are on.  You also want to make sure you keep it fun and a great experience for your BB to continue to foster the passion and love for the game.

I know for a fact his coach is not expecting him to leave, he is one of the stronger players and put a lot of responsibility on him, but we aren't sticking around for sure, my son has good friendships but also gets frustrated with the lack of play making/passing. It sucks also because 2 other coaches were also intrested from same club, I turned them down because I felt wrong for backing out after we verbally committed. I looked those teams up and they are doing really good, just feel like he missed out on a lot of knowledge.

I'll look into maybe contacting some coaches though, maybe closer to season ending.

don' think that way. you guys made a decision and it is a good lesson for your kid to have to stick with that. we have switched teams before and as much as you think the grass is greener, it almost never is. your kid is a commodity. that's how coaches look at it. they will dump your kid in 2 seconds the moment a better player comes along. your son is one of the better players on this team and gets to play a bunch, but some other coach may not have thought so. your kid could have been sitting on a bench all season.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by BENDMEOVER on Wed Feb 13, 2019 12:48 pm

What season, did I miss something. We got alot of rain.

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by New2competitive on Wed Feb 13, 2019 12:55 pm

^^ Season + tournaments

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Re: Any one else just waiting for the season to end?

Post by Badknees on Thu Feb 14, 2019 12:43 pm

Finding the right fit is hard. As a parent that has made a mid-season change I can say it sucks for player and parent. That being said in the pay to play model as long as you are cutting a check you have the power to move your player and have an option on his development. When the development that you are paying for is not there you have the option to change(mid season or at year end) and you do not have to have a loyalty to a club or coach. The number one thing is your son. If he is happy and on weaker team then buckle up and go with it. Then don’t air the Landry on a public forum make the change and move on.

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