Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

3-4-3 wrote:I think it's about entitlement.  Several posted this kid "paid" and "earned" a trip to nationals. No - she didn't.  She was a one member of a "team" that earned a trip to nationals.

She has since (apparently) made it known that she no longer wants to be a member of the team. But she feels ENTITLED to be treated the same as the rest of team because she "paid" and "earned".

You can't quit on a group and expect them to treat you the same. That's not how group dynamics work in life or in soccer.  Entitlement mentality says you "owe" me that playing time even though I'm quitting on you. As if loyalty were a one way street.

If I were the coach it wouldn't matter if you were the team captain and we had a snow balls chance in hades of winning anything without you.  You don't want to be a part of the team? Fair enough - I'll sink or swim with those who do and sleep with a clear conscience.  I'm not going to cave to the entitlement mentality of one player and send a message to all the other players that I care more about this player quitting  than I do believing in the rest of the team. But then I don't pay bills with money from select soccer parents, so I'm in no position to judge those who would handle it differently.


If it was my kid I wouldn't be happy I got stuck with the travel costs, but it's unlikely I would've put her in that situation in the first place. If she was unhappy enough to quit the team, I can't see how she would be blown away that she couldn't play with them, and I doubt seriously I would've bought tickets for another trip knowing my daughter has made it publicly known she doesn't want to be on the team anymore.  Usually by the time a player has made it known they're quitting a team, they've long since quit the team emotionally anyway, and are playing at the point primary for self or to be seen or to finish out the year.

sorry i imagine that the team required payment upfront several months in advance. either refund her money or let her go...anything else is robbery...

If I were the coach it wouldn't matter if you were the team captain and we had a snow balls chance in hades of winning anything without you.  You don't want to be a part of the team? Fair enough - I'll sink or swim with those who do and sleep with a clear conscience.  I'm not going to cave to the entitlement mentality of one player and send a message to all the other players that I care more about this player quitting  than I do believing in the rest of the team.



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Well I believe he is going to get his chance to sink or swim, and a chance to sleep with a clear conscience! Just remember this quote " Be careful what you ask for! You just might get it". Good luck to both NTX teams FC Dallas and Solar!

when I mentioned that the Colorado trip was paid for and dues were paid, it was merely to point out that there were no financial reasons to 'uninvite' the player. If dues were behind, etc. then that's a whole other issue.

This FCD player was an ok player, started about half the games, did score a couple goals (team only scored 11 league goals all year!) and rarely missed a practice all year. Can probably count on one hand the number of missed practices out of probably 100 held. But the coach decided he wanted to play the LHGCL players that were brought on in April and May, and told a few of the existing players that played 26+ games all year that they were not needed in June for Colorado.

I think someone earlier said it best. The team that worked all year should go. Whether they are staying or not, it's a year commitment, not 10 or 11 months.

Whatever though. There will always be people that will argue anything. My kid graduates in a year and I'm very much looking forward to putting this all behind us. She has had some great times and some crappy times in this select soccer stuff, she is a strong individual because of it and I'm super proud of her no matter what happens. She is an outstanding athlete that takes excellent care of her body and has made some good friends along the way.

I feel bad for the kids that are just getting into soccer now, as this stuff gets worse and worse every year, by the time they graduate, it's going to be crazy.

Take a look at the for sale/wanted section. So many people buying and selling kits WAY before the July 1st signing day. It's obvious that commitments are made earlier and earlier every year, and nobody enforces any of the 'rules' in NTX.

I have personally seen parents post-date and sign contracts with a coach weeks before July 1. Coach whispered in my ear after they did this, "You have to remember this is a business and you have to get the players as soon as you can."

All of the parents and the politics in NTX is getting more out of hand each year. The stuff being discussed in this thread about the Solar coach and the FCD coach do not surprise me at all. It's sad that it happens, and I do not agree with it, but it doesn't surprise me.

I signed my last select contract with my dd ON JULY 1st, and I'm looking at the last uniform she will wear in NTX Soccer. Happy and sad at the same time. Looking forward to the future for her.

3-4-3 wrote:I think it's about entitlement.  Several posted this kid "paid" and "earned" a trip to nationals. No - she didn't.  She was a one member of a "team" that earned a trip to nationals.

She has since (apparently) made it known that she no longer wants to be a member of the team. But she feels ENTITLED to be treated the same as the rest of team because she "paid" and "earned".

You can't quit on a group and expect them to treat you the same. That's not how group dynamics work in life or in soccer.  Entitlement mentality says you "owe" me that playing time even though I'm quitting on you. As if loyalty were a one way street.

If I were the coach it wouldn't matter if you were the team captain and we had a snow balls chance in hades of winning anything without you.  You don't want to be a part of the team? Fair enough - I'll sink or swim with those who do and sleep with a clear conscience.  I'm not going to cave to the entitlement mentality of one player and send a message to all the other players that I care more about this player quitting  than I do believing in the rest of the team. But then I don't pay bills with money from select soccer parents, so I'm in no position to judge those who would handle it differently.


If it was my kid I wouldn't be happy I got stuck with the travel costs, but it's unlikely I would've put her in that situation in the first place. If she was unhappy enough to quit the team, I can't see how she would be blown away that she couldn't play with them, and I doubt seriously I would've bought tickets for another trip knowing my daughter has made it publicly known she doesn't want to be on the team anymore.  Usually by the time a player has made it known they're quitting a team, they've long since quit the team emotionally anyway, and are playing at the point primary for self or to be seen or to finish out the year.

It is now obvious that you are close to the situation or just like to debate... Based on your point, if a team makes it far into the post-season, no one would be able to go to another team??? In reality, every single National Champ as players leave and those teams don't kick kids off the team 3 days prior... You are actually contradicting yourself, when you say you would have bailed on the team earlier... This family acted much better than you "would have" and decided to keep their responsibilty to the team.. Also based on your point, if 8 or 9 or 10 players were going to leave, then the team should forfiet nationals...
And you're not addressing the obvious that it was stupid to hold signing day before Nationals.. I doubt I can convince you, but coaches at Solar and all around NTX are amazed AS actually did this... It's not about you 4321 or whatever your handle is, it is about the kids....

That's sad. Poor kid.

I'm not close to the situation. Yes I do like to debate. But I can tell by the reaching you're doing it's way too emotional for you. I said nothing about bailing, but I've been around select soccer long enough to know if my daughter is leaving the team l don't need to EXPECT she'll be treated as if she wasn't. She is not entitled to anything. If she is the team's best option and the coach trusts her the most she will play. If not, she wont. I don't see where she is owed anything beyond that.

Only reason I speak with any passion about it is I watched my daughter's team go through a very similar situation at state cup. I agree its about the kids, but I don't agree putting one kid's feelings ahead of the best interests of the other umpteen members of the team, of which one kid no longer want to be a part, is in any way fair or just for those other kids. Like I said there are always two sides.

I don't agree with this decision of the coach, but I am not suprised. My DD is in a similiar situation with her team planning on a trip and tournament next July, I would think that if she doesn't resign July 1 - she wouldn't go to the tournament in late July. I know Nationals is a little different, but still, she shouldn't be suprised if the team she is quitting doesn't feel obligated to take her.

If it was such a big deal to her, maybe she should have signed and given it another shot? Leaving, she should have known this was a possiblity or you weren't setting her expectations correctly.

Man, that's select soccer or something.  Even the pros keep playing their stars in a contract season...even if they know they're not going to be able to re-sign them the next season.  It's about winning the championship for an organization and if I have a player that is all in to win the championship, which I know she was, then I don't burn the bridge.  I might want her back the season after next, or the season after that.  I can't get to the frame of mind where you penalize greatly a teenage player during the season for what might happen after August 1.  Nothing is really official in ECNL until the roster is turned in by 8/15.  This is all crazy to say a player is basically hostage to a team unless she commits to the team during the current season for the next season.  If I am a parent helping my DD find a new situation she wants to try then I guess I can't be honest or my DD will face serious retribution. Really?   That's what what select soccer has become today?  Why do y'all want her to suffer for wanting a change for the next season?

3-4-3 wrote:I'm not close to the situation. Yes I do like to debate. But  I can tell by the reaching you're doing it's way too emotional for you. I said nothing about bailing, but  I've been around select soccer long enough to know if my daughter is leaving the team l don't need to EXPECT she'll be treated as if she wasn't.  She is not entitled to anything. If she is the team's best option and the coach trusts her the most she will play. If not, she wont. I don't see where she is owed anything beyond that.

Only reason I speak with any passion about it is I watched my daughter's team go through a very similar situation at state cup. I agree its about the kids, but I don't agree putting one kid's feelings ahead of the best interests of the other umpteen members of the team, of which one kid no longer want to be a part, is in any way fair or just for those other kids. Like I said there are always two sides.

Agree with your point about entitlement and expectations...take the emotion away and ALL of the girls are being impacted by both the players decision and the coaches decision.

Also agree that there are always two sides to every story.

Well, somebody wasn't going to play.  There are 27 players listed on the roster.

3-4-3 wrote:I'm not close to the situation. Yes I do like to debate. But  I can tell by the reaching you're doing it's way too emotional for you. I said nothing about bailing, but  I've been around select soccer long enough to know if my daughter is leaving the team l don't need to EXPECT she'll be treated as if she wasn't.  She is not entitled to anything. If she is the team's best option and the coach trusts her the most she will play. If not, she wont. I don't see where she is owed anything beyond that.

Only reason I speak with any passion about it is I watched my daughter's team go through a very similar situation at state cup. I agree its about the kids, but I don't agree putting one kid's feelings ahead of the best interests of the other umpteen members of the team, of which one kid no longer want to be a part, is in any way fair or just for those other kids. Like I said there are always two sides.

OK, I see now.. You were a parent asking the coach to bounce a kid on your team... Just messin with ya..

I'll wrap it up.. I appreciate you and others helping to carry the thread and allowing me to say what I wanted to about this situation.. My intent was to make sure certain folks read this and to to let people know what happened.. I'm happy to know my target audience has peeped the thread. I wanted to hear from some, but the team has issued a txsoccer gag order... Kinda funny... Like NOW you want to control the parents...

Back to you Sounder

And the Answer to this discussion is yes IMO for this team a few parents run the Asylum.......

Not the Organization i hold SOLAR in the highest regards Kevin Smith and Nick Stavrou are Class acts all the way remember the one apple theory.

My child was also in the unfortunate position of not going to Nationals because of specific SOLAR 99' ECNL parent group and Coach. She was a starter and played 75-100% of each game and contributed in and of getting team to nationals.

After months of ongoing conversations and dialogue and a sit down within the last two weeks with coach because of the special situation my DD is in. The Coach he did exactly the opposite of his word.
He admitted he bowed to pressure from certain parents and tried to hold her hostage and play games with her mind not good!

Said that she would have to sign a contract to play of course this caused a flood of emotions from her disbelief, madness, excessive crying as you can only imagine...... She had Been with SOLAR for 6 years.

This situation had been addressed for the last 3 months continuously with the coach who says anything i can do to help we had a gentelmens contract handshake and His word.
Obviously no integrity or balls to stand up to his parents it is perfectly clear who runs the team.

I am so glad my DD is so strong she called Their bluff much to her mother and my belief and i am sure the Coaches surprise!! long story short, I started recieving calls fom last Saturday evening after signing party?

ECNL signing is the 16th. if my facts are straight so this was a desperation act are those contracts even Legal?

My DD tested positive for Strep on Fri. Still made scrimmage Sat. Morning fever and all.

We would have been at the signing party which i understand was a fiasco because 3 of the players were not there, And the minions were upet? I guess i should have taken my DD and infected the whole team? Ridiculous group of parents did not believe my DD was sick?

These malcontents while My DD was in UTAH for over a week parents assumed because she was not at practice she was sighted at other clubs practicing what a joke, Coach informed me that i had already committed to another large club more Minion noise...many sightings many rumors.???????????????

Coach has called contiuely after Saturday morning until yesterday afternoon begging for her to come play, Saying anything i can do to get her to play at the Nationals telling me how much he cared about my DD? obviously His actions clearly show he cares about her soccer skills only.

Coach gave me his word he would not push my daughter to try and sign because she is up in the air she did not know if she was going to play soccer next year. She is a very talented musican and has many opprutunities there.

She and others on the team have been heavily recruited by other top ECNL teams so i can see he wants to lock down his players.

Bottom line the coach was listening to all the background noise and his minions not beliving me. For the minions know all.
Also he broke his verbal contract and promise to me.

My DD After being pushed pulled every direction she decided not to go said she would not be comfortable with that dysfunctional family and said it is their loss and jumped on the bus to church camp!!!!!.

She has more Balls and Integrity than that small group of parents and the coach, I am very, very proud of her she stands for everything that is good.

Unfortunately she would love to be their with her teammates she loves! but as always those few rotten apples.

I wish the Girls no ill will and only the best luck!!!! Unfortunately they are all pawns in the coaches and parents games
Girls you earned it!!Now own it!!..... Make us all proud back home.  I know you are a special group of girls despite the surroundings.
                                                  GO SOLAR 99!!!

I just had a flashback... I thought it was 2008 and this was turfmonster.. Good Ole fashion Pistol bomb just dropped..

Not a bomb. Just the unabridged truth that is all.


Sounder what caused that flashback? Did you see tracers also?

I'm looking for an Uncle Fish appearance soon. Maybe a Dallas Dude Rump Shaker to get things going.

MoveYourFeet wrote:I'm looking for an Uncle Fish appearance soon. Maybe a Dallas Dude Rump Shaker to get things going.

Maybe Warrior99, Autograph, Lonestar & TruDog

Definately could use a rump shaker to cheer me up!

soccersounder wrote:

MoveYourFeet wrote:I'm looking for an Uncle Fish appearance soon. Maybe a Dallas Dude Rump Shaker to get things going.

Maybe Warrior99, Autograph, Lonestar & TruDog

Bevo, Gunners, Pitchboy, Kat Con, Wolf, Force, NY Smartazz(sp), Type1, wittymgr.....

I had to go from memory on most of those. Appears 99 has dwindled to just a mere memory of times past. TM and DMN days long forgotten.

fatherofoneplayer wrote:

soccersounder wrote:

MoveYourFeet wrote:I'm looking for an Uncle Fish appearance soon. Maybe a Dallas Dude Rump Shaker to get things going.

Maybe Warrior99, Autograph, Lonestar & TruDog

Bevo, Gunners, Pitchboy, Kat Con, Wolf, Force, NY Smartazz(sp), Type1, wittymgr.....

Wolf is now Wolf2.0 and is still in here somewhere


wittymgr is on this very thread

Lets not forget about, Weenie, Elk andNot Guilty either.

I actually just threw away a dozen Turfmonster decals a week ago. I was thinking of a poster from long ago and still can't recall his name...drives me nuts as I'm pretty good with names (I just recall his old man avatar).

New forum, same discussions - our grandchildren's grandchildren will all hate referees and the Texans - it's the way of the world.

Do I need to move this thread to the "old school" thread and start advertising AARP?

I always wondered who was "Not_DavidMay" over at turfmonster....

That was me - someone took it at this site, however. I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Who's DM

Meow.