Does Your Daughter Play for Fun or to Compete and Win?

Hello all,

There is a huge focus in our area on size and athleticism, but how important a factor in what separates one player from another is why and how they play? In many different sports you hear about passion to win or drive to compete and be better than than someone else. How important is it that a player plays to compete with others and win versus play because she loves to the game?

So, does your daughter play for the fun of playing or does she play to compete and beat the other girls - and if so, when did this drive and passion become evident?

All of the above.

for the snacks

If they are competing to be the best then I am sure they are having fun.

All of the above, but the drive and passion to get better and play with the best in her age group grew to a different level once the jump from Academy to Select happened a few yrs ago.

My daughter plays for the sheer love of hypocrisy

Thanks TX Turf Burn

SoccerDad75070 wrote:and if so, when did this drive and passion become evident?

in response to adversity

db10 wrote:My daughter plays for the sheer love of hypocrisy

Good plan. She'll get her money's worth. Should be very happy.

All of the above, but let me put some extra perspective:

In my daughter's particular case:

1-Definetly starts by having fun
2-As you progress in play level, player needs to start to compete to be better and keep her starting spot or spot on the team...at this point, it may not be as fun anymore, but player starts understating the game and what it takes to be off the bench and on the field
3 - Winning the match, it is important, however, if daughter did not play or did not play much, it isn't as important as playing...but to play, daughter needs to compete

From what we have experienced, when playing in high level teams / leagues, it really comes down to having to compete in order to have playing time which will enable the player to have fun (again, players have "fun" when they get to play). At the highest levels of competition, playing soccer has become a job. It is a difficult thing to grasp and accept, but as I have mentioned in previous threads discussing other similar topics, that is why we are thankful that we have so many teams in many different tiers of play that your daughter / family will find a place that will fit you the best. Not everyone is cut out to compete everyday, to be told that you did not make the team roster for the weekend game, to be pulled out of practice because you are slowing things down and not keeping up....I am sure some of you can relate.
Again, the above is based on what we have seen and experienced, nothing more.

My DD plays for the sheer love of the game, which I instilled in her starting at age 6 by reminding her on a daily basis that if she doesn't get a full athletic ride to a Power 5 conference school that she is a complete and utter failure in my eyes, as I need to live my life vicariously through her athletic accomplishment in order to validate my self-worth as a parent.  So just make sure you go out and have fun sweetie!

My daughter plays because she likes new kits and cleats.

KeeperCommander wrote:If they are competing to be the best then I am sure they are having fun.

Seen many cases where players on DD's team are playing to compete and be the best, trying to win the match, but not having any fun.  

Usually due to:
. fear of failure or disappointing others (i.e. parents)
. having their self worth tied to soccer performance
. need to succeed to get $ for college (i.e it is their job)

Ours had fun as they played for the sheer fun of competing (ECNL/NPL/ODP, etc) and trying to win.  They never viewed soccer as an obligation, or a job, or a means to and end.  Also the same reason they declined college offers.  i.e. don't want it to be a job.  

They also competed and focused on winning in academics and did view that as their job, and as a means to an end.  And no it was not always fun.

My DD simply plays to for the enjoyment of heading down to the pub after the match for a pint or two with her mates while laughing at all the geezers on the sidelines.

you need an all of the above option.......................

Teufel Hunden wrote:All of the above, but let me put some extra perspective:

In my daughter's particular case:

1-Definetly starts by having fun
2-As you progress in play level, player needs to start to compete to be better and keep her starting spot or spot on the team...at this point, it may not be as fun anymore, but player starts understating the game and what it takes to be off the bench and on the field
3 - Winning the match, it is important, however, if daughter did not play or did not play much, it isn't as important as playing...but to play, daughter needs to compete

From what we have experienced, when playing in high level teams / leagues, it really comes down to having to compete in order to have playing time which will enable the player to have fun (again, players have "fun" when they get to play). At the highest levels of competition, playing soccer has become a job. It is a difficult thing to grasp and accept, but as I have mentioned in previous threads discussing other similar topics, that is why we are thankful that we have so many teams in many different tiers of play that your daughter / family will find a place that will fit you the best. Not everyone is cut out to compete everyday, to be told that you did not make the team roster for the weekend game, to be pulled out of practice because you are slowing things down and not keeping up....I am sure some of you can relate.
Again, the above is based on what we have seen and experienced, nothing more.

Damn Gunny, you post anything under a couple of sentences?

My DD plays using the John Kreese philosophy of athletic competition.

A great coach once said some kids PLAY soccer and others COMPETE at it.

I think mine is addicted to the shoes.

I can't choose all of the above but that is what it is. My daughter has been playing since she was 4 and loves the game more than anything. With that love comes sheer determination to be the best player on the field. She wants to win every game.

A & B. Mine have fun and compete to be the best, but they don't worry about winning or losing because they can't help it when those dang crazy goalkeepers screw everything up

SteamingBean wrote:A & B.  Mine have fun and compete to be the best, but they don't worry about winning or losing because they can't help it when those dang crazy goalkeepers screw everything up

(Just kidding  just kidding..  before Sheets and the other GKs get mad.  we used to be a GK family too)

WhySeauxSerious wrote:My daughter plays because she likes new kits and cleats.

This. best answer for this side of the board.