North Texas Soccer Forum
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Log in

I forgot my password

Be An Athletic Supporter!
Donate and get this nifty tag!

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Pixel
Statistics
We have 15040 registered users
The newest registered user is Zoonwen

Our users have posted a total of 203400 messages in 30815 subjects

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by FCF0910 04/02/19, 10:08 am

My 7 year old daughter had a tournament over the weekend and the majority of the games were at The Pit Plano. That being said, I found myself beyond stressed with every part of the process, ha. Driving 45 mins in opposite directions all weekend, parking in a lot that looks like it was built for maybe 30 cars total but fields designed for 500+. Parents who are all stressed beyond belief watching (and screaming) at their 7 year old, which most of them look like it's their first time playing 7v7 and they have pretty much no idea where to be, let alone the goalie, who bless her heart everything is riding on now and it's the first time she's put gloves on. As I say all of this I also realize I am not innocent in anything I've said above either. But that's why I'm asking, how do you stay sane? How do you swallow your tongue as the parents of the other team are screaming at the ref because he may or may not have missed a really close call that ultimately wouldn't have made a any difference in the outcome of the game that they were already winning 7-1 with 3 mins left in the game?

Is the answer just bring the cooler? Very Happy
I'm assuming it only gets worse from here so I should probably suck it up and either get used to it or of course, control what I can control - myself.

FCF0910
TxSoccer Lurker
TxSoccer Lurker

Posts : 3
Points : 1728
Join date : 2017-02-08

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by Guest 04/02/19, 11:36 am

Welcome to competitive youth sports in NTX! You are now officially part of the dark side. Twisted Evil

Truth is, you pretty much answered your own question.  Start with controlling what you can control.  Make your kid proud to play in front of you by being there, being supportive, and not becoming a sideline spectacle in a negative way.

If your kid sticks with this, you are going to see all different levels of bad behavior and BSC (Bat $#!+ Crazy) parents.  Heck, anyone who is on this forum on any kind of a regular basis has some level of BSC in them, myself included.  You will also see a lot of good behavior, and quite possibly both you and your kids will build some lasting friendships through your shared experiences.

Always remember that YOU are your kid's #1 advocate, BUT to be an effective advocate, you need to maintain objectivity and perspective about your kid's ability, and what your kid's ultimate goals are with sport.  If you can do this, the benefits of competitive sport (even competitive soccer in NTX), are tremendous:  self-confidence, teamwork, winning and losing with grace, overcoming adversity, dealing with conflict, how to work hard to excel at something they are passionate about, and so on, and so on...

All the other stuff is mostly noise and teachable moments.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by Checkpoint Charlie 04/02/19, 11:50 am

FCF0910 wrote:My 7 year old daughter had a tournament over the weekend and the majority of the games were at The Pit Plano. That being said, I found myself beyond stressed with every part of the process, ha. Driving 45 mins in opposite directions all weekend, parking in a lot that looks like it was built for maybe 30 cars total but fields designed for 500+. Parents who are all stressed beyond belief watching (and screaming) at their 7 year old, which most of them look like it's their first time playing 7v7 and they have pretty much no idea where to be, let alone the goalie, who bless her heart everything is riding on now and it's the first time she's put gloves on. As I say all of this I also realize I am not innocent in anything I've said above either. But that's why I'm asking, how do you stay sane? How do you swallow your tongue as the parents of the other team are screaming at the ref because he may or may not have missed a really close call that ultimately wouldn't have made a any difference in the outcome of the game that they were already winning 7-1 with 3 mins left in the game?

Is the answer just bring the cooler? Very Happy
I'm assuming it only gets worse from here so I should probably suck it up and either get used to it or of course, control what I can control - myself.



#MAGA
Checkpoint Charlie
Checkpoint Charlie
TxSoccer Postmaster
TxSoccer Postmaster

Posts : 335
Points : 2558
Join date : 2015-12-22

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by Big Ern 04/02/19, 03:36 pm

DeltaTauChi wrote:Welcome to competitive youth sports in NTX! You are now officially part of the dark side. Twisted Evil

Truth is, you pretty much answered your own question.  Start with controlling what you can control.  Make your kid proud to play in front of you by being there, being supportive, and not becoming a sideline spectacle in a negative way.

If your kid sticks with this, you are going to see all different levels of bad behavior and BSC (Bat $#!+ Crazy) parents.  Heck, anyone who is on this forum on any kind of a regular basis has some level of BSC in them, myself included.  You will also see a lot of good behavior, and quite possibly both you and your kids will build some lasting friendships through your shared experiences.

Always remember that YOU are your kid's #1 advocate, BUT to be an effective advocate, you need to maintain objectivity and perspective about your kid's ability, and what your kid's ultimate goals are with sport.  If you can do this, the benefits of competitive sport (even competitive soccer in NTX), are tremendous:  self-confidence, teamwork, winning and losing with grace, overcoming adversity, dealing with conflict, how to work hard to excel at something they are passionate about, and so on, and so on...

All the other stuff is mostly noise and teachable moments.

Once again ... DTX is as right as rain here 910 -

Only thing I'd add is my opinion regarding your assumption that it only gets worse from here.  To that, I'd say that while it may continue to be rough in the short term because yours is so young, it'll will likely get much better as the years go on.  With the littles, most of these parents are first timers, and just as the kids improve on the field, the parents tend to do the same on the sidelines (with occasional exceptions of course).  

Have fun out there!

Big Ern
TxSoccer Addict
TxSoccer Addict

Posts : 1207
Points : 3870
Join date : 2014-09-02

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by 5050Ball 05/02/19, 11:08 am

I'm guessing U8? At ulittle ages, every kid still has a shot at the USWNT and the University of her choice and parents are convinced they are a critical part of making that happen. You will also see an awful lot of the 'us vs them' mentality. My coach/club/kid is better than your coach/club/kid. As if there is only so much success to go around. Hence the high stress levels on the sideline.

When I refereed ulittles many moons ago, I found the craziness peaked at U10-11. If its still the same, you're in for a few more years of it.

Somewhere later in the process (and it varies by individual-a few never get it) parents begin to realize that other than transportation and moral support, they actually have very little positive impact on the kid's development. The kid's natural gifts, the training she receives, her sheer enjoyment of playing and most importantly, her inner drive to succeed (NOT the parents) are what drive the development curve. I've seen hundreds of kids blossom once the parents let go. And conversely, countless give up the game when they don't.

The good news as Delta and E alluded to is it definitely gets better. I'm on number 4 and from a parent perspective the older sidelines are actually quite enjoyable. Most parents have long since learned to be objective. We also know most of the folks on most of the teams. The kids have all played with one another somewhere over the years. It's not hard to root for all the kids to do well.


5050Ball
5050Ball
TxSoccer Postmaster
TxSoccer Postmaster

Posts : 247
Points : 2590
Join date : 2015-06-19

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by boilerjoe_96 05/02/19, 03:13 pm

I think best way to stay sane is to get on FB, throw shots at other teams(that you haven't played in 20 months) or call out coaches that(rightfully) dont accept your kid who is 5 and has been w 4 teams. Wait, maybe I have this thought process backwards? scratch
boilerjoe_96
boilerjoe_96
TxSoccer Author
TxSoccer Author

Posts : 646
Points : 4209
Join date : 2012-04-26

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by Guest 05/02/19, 03:26 pm

boilerjoe_96 wrote:I think best way to stay sane is to get on FB, throw shots at other teams(that you haven't played in 20 months) or call out  coaches that(rightfully) dont accept your kid who is 5 and has been w 4 teams.  Wait, maybe I have this thought process backwards? scratch

What the hell did you expect??? Your 5 year old couldn't pull off a Zico or a Maradonna and couldn't one-touch and two-touch pass with proper weight. Evil or Very Mad

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by FCForça 05/02/19, 03:57 pm

The answer is to just bring the cooler. This is serious business.

FCForça
TxSoccer Poster
TxSoccer Poster

Posts : 17
Points : 1204
Join date : 2018-07-30

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by boilerjoe_96 05/02/19, 04:01 pm

DeltaTauChi wrote:
boilerjoe_96 wrote:I think best way to stay sane is to get on FB, throw shots at other teams(that you haven't played in 20 months) or call out  coaches that(rightfully) dont accept your kid who is 5 and has been w 4 teams.  Wait, maybe I have this thought process backwards? scratch

What the hell did you expect???  Your 5 year old couldn't pull off a Zico or a Maradonna and couldn't one-touch and two-touch pass with proper weight.  Evil or Very Mad

Ahhh the memories, you left out a few.

Per the TRD:

"Each player can execute every skill and technique and have been for over a year - scissors, step overs, zico's, l-turns, bring downs (juggle in the air to trap), etc., and can one-touch and two-touch pass without hesitation at varying distances."
boilerjoe_96
boilerjoe_96
TxSoccer Author
TxSoccer Author

Posts : 646
Points : 4209
Join date : 2012-04-26

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by Shivas 05/02/19, 05:53 pm

5050Ball wrote:I'm guessing U8?  At ulittle ages, every kid still has a shot at the USWNT and the University of her choice and parents are convinced they are a critical part of making that happen.  You will also see an awful lot of the 'us vs them' mentality.  My coach/club/kid is better than your coach/club/kid.  As if there is only so much success to go around.  Hence the high stress levels on the sideline.

When I refereed ulittles many moons ago, I found the craziness peaked at U10-11.  If its still the same, you're in for a few more years of it.

Somewhere later in the process (and it varies by individual-a few never get it) parents begin to realize that other than transportation and moral support, they actually have very little positive impact on the kid's development.  The kid's natural gifts, the training she receives, her sheer enjoyment of playing and most importantly, her inner drive to succeed (NOT the parents) are what drive the development curve.  I've seen hundreds of kids blossom once the parents let go. And conversely, countless give up the game when they don't.  

The good news as Delta and E alluded to is it definitely gets better.  I'm on number 4 and from a parent perspective the older sidelines are actually quite enjoyable.  Most parents have long since learned to be objective.  We also know most of the folks on most of the teams.  The kids have all played with one another somewhere over the years.  It's not hard to root for all the kids to do well.



Excellent post.

Shivas
TxSoccer Poster
TxSoccer Poster

Posts : 63
Points : 2872
Join date : 2014-03-09

Back to top Go down

How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?  Empty Re: How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum