Sad Days

The soccer world is getting a bit embarrassing. We are suppose to have our children look up to these coaches. The coaches should be role models and show the kids what it is like to be part of a team and to do things the right way. Instead there had been money issues, coaches hooking up with parents of players or calling still trying to get a booty call from an ex-players parent, or lied during the recruitment period, or worse of all the complete lack of work ethic. It’s bad reallly bad. Sad to say as a former player that I almost do not want my child involved in it. My kiddo is smart and has figured some things out on her own. Just a sad world.

JohnnyUtah wrote:The soccer world is getting a bit embarrassing.  We are suppose to have our children look up to these coaches.  The coaches should be role models and show the kids what it is like to be part of a team and to do things the right way.  Instead there had been money issues, coaches hooking up with parents of players or calling still trying to get a booty call from an ex-players parent, or lied during the recruitment period, or worse of all the complete lack of work ethic.  It’s bad reallly bad.  Sad to say as a former player that I almost do not want my child involved in it. My kiddo is smart and has figured some things out on her own.  Just a sad world.

While I feel for you and your kid's sitch Keanu, it sounds as if you've made a few bad choices here and there --

As it is in any business, there are good ones and bad ones ... To call the soccer world "embarrassing" due to a few scoundrels is a bit much isn't it?

No, Keanu is on to something here. The integrity of coaches and now even the manager of these teams has fallen to the dark side more often than not. Yes Big E the good ones are out their but they are few and far between. My opinion,those parents that do not know or understand the coaching carousel have a far more likelyhood of being scammed. The greed and the money have grown so much with little to no regulation what so ever that it has become a area that a criminal could go undiscovered and make a killing off gullible and unsuspecting parents.

Won’t the real Big Ern please stand up?

Naw Forreal...the “soccer world” just happens to reside within the “real world.” Filled with corruption and disappointment in the human behavior. In all aspects you have good and you have bad, great Samaritan’s and vicious predators.
And as far as the coaches hooking up with parents...that’s a 50/50.

Zizou wrote:No, Keanu is on to something here. The integrity of coaches and now even the manager of these teams has fallen to the dark side more often than not. Yes Big E the good ones are out their but they are few and far between. My opinion,those parents that do not know or understand the coaching carousel have a far more likelyhood of being scammed. The greed and the money have grown so much with little to no regulation what so ever that it has become a area that a criminal could go undiscovered and make a killing off gullible and unsuspecting parents.

Could not agree more.  

Even an inexperienced soccer parent can navigate the waters if they do their due diligence on a coach and team.  

You the parent are the only one in the entire system who has (or should have) your DD's best interest at the top of their list.  

If you do your role you can usually steer clear of the really bad ones, learn a few lessons and survive the marginal ones and find a good situation that fits your DD.

Bad experiences often result from lack of due diligence, not knowing there your DD fits in the soccer hierarchy or what type of coach personality works best for her at any point in time.

I would say homework was done. However, your child wants to go where friends go. It’s sad they can’t do that safely. Parents hooking up with coaches for playing time is pathetic. These all sound like excuses.

It’s sad to hear that but as they say buyer beware. You can’t expect the clubs to know what’s going on with their employees or contractors. I don’t know why a parent would assume that a team affiliated with a club would have a coach with proper training and ethics, that’s up to the parent to do their homework. The club does the billing and collects the money, it’s not their fault if a parent picks a coach that can’t teach soccer. Just sayin.

Good luck out there.

See you at the pitch.

Well those are the clubs employess correct? If yes then those employees should be held accountable. That being said they don’t just take care of money. They move pieces and they move coaches to fit their narrative. It’s a big shell game.

So, in the spirit of knowledge sharing and facilitating due diligence, what hints can you provide in regard to the coach(es) and/or team(s) that prompted the original post on this topic? Sounds crazy and I definitely want to steer clear of such scenarios for my dd. Especially the alleged hook-ups and booty calls...that's crazy and at the same time hilarious.

Please don't be an 04 boys coach.
Please don't be an 04 boys coach.
Please don't be an 04 boys coach.
Please don't be an 04 boys coach.
Please don't be an 04 boys coach.


....again.

My first two wives came from the bleachers of recreational teams I was coaching... a soccer mom in 1998 and a baseball mom in 2011.

coachdom23 wrote:My first two wives came from the bleachers of recreational teams I was coaching... a soccer mom in 1998 and a baseball mom in 2011.

After all this time, who knew CoachDom was actually a player?

By the way, are you still paying alimony to Foxy?

I ain’t seen a check from that deadbeat in years. To top it off ol Don Juan dom is still making booty calls to me.

Foxysoccermom wrote:I ain’t seen a check from that deadbeat in years. To top it off ol Don Juan dom is still making booty calls to me.

Hey, I leave a few bucks on the nightstand when I leave.

Foxy ain’t got no nightstand...just an air mattress and stained carpet and a lamp on the floor with a velvet lampshade!!

Youth soccer in NTX is almost completely unregulated. What sort of due diligence can a parent do?  There is no licensing requirement to coach at any level.  There is no continuing education requirement to maintain a coaching license.  There is no way to verify a coach's license.  You can attend a tryout or talk to the coach, but that's like a job interview.  You're probably not going to get an honest answer.  No one goes to a job interview and says that they're going to spend half their day reading Facebook and the other half napping on their Costanza cot.

I know a team that recently brought in CPP players in an attempt to maintain their spot in a league.  The coach asked his rostered players to volunteer to give up their spot for the CPP players.  No one volunteered so the coach told them that they'd have to split time for the remaining games to make room for the CPP players.  I'm not saying the club made a bad choice (more on that below), maybe they handled it poorly, but whatever.  That's not the point.  As a parent paying for club sports (my oldest played club volleyball for 6 years and my other two have played club soccer for 4 and 6 years), I know what I want out of it.  I want a positive environment where my kids can get better at what they enjoy doing.  If my kids are learning what it means to commit to an activity, commit to a team and improving than it was money well spent.  What was that coach's objective?  Was it improving his own players?  Absolutely not.  His objective was maintaining his spot in the league because it's a recruiting tool.  If his team wasn't good enough to maintain their place in the league then that's who they are.  You stick with who you have to show your support, take your lumps, move down and work hard at training to improve your results.  Do you think that coach told the parent's that maintaining their spot in the league is more important than their kid's confidence or development?  Of course not.  He told them what they wanted to hear to get them to sign the financial agreement.

Parent's are not without blame here either.  Too many parent's use a team's league or win-loss record as the measuring stick for quality or coaching ability.  When those parent's leave at the end of the contract because they weren't winning or got relegated or their kid didn't play the club is left holding the bag.  The club has to make the right decision for the club because they can't count on parent's sticking around to fight it out next year.

My advice for parent's looking at playing club sports, any club sport, is to do your best to find a good fit for your player.  Set the expectations with your kid(s) and discuss the importance of committing to something and what that means.  Talking to the club or coach is a good idea, but take it for what it is.  Attend a training session or two and see how the coach handles the team, how he progresses through the session and look at the body language of the players.  Are they positive or just going through the motions?  Is the coach keeping the players engaged?  Is the coach maximizing touches on the ball and keeping the players involved in the session.  How does your player's skill level compare to the others?  What are your goals?  What are your player's goals?  Signing up for a top tier team in a top tier league isn't a bad idea, but if your player is not on par with the other players than be prepared to watch your kid support the team from the sideline.  You may go to 50+ games and play in multiple leagues or tournaments and spend thousands and thousands of dollars and only see your player get token minutes to rest a starter.  The coach and club aren't going to tell you that.  Use your own eyes and make the best decision for you and your player for the contract year.  Rinse and repeat at the end of the contract.

cadenhead wrote:Youth soccer in NTX is almost completely unregulated. What sort of due diligence can a parent do?  There is no licensing requirement to coach at any level.  There is no continuing education requirement to maintain a coaching license.  There is no way to verify a coach's license.  You can attend a tryout or talk to the coach, but that's like a job interview.  You're probably not going to get an honest answer.  No one goes to a job interview and says that they're going to spend half their day reading Facebook and the other half napping on their Costanza cot.

I know a team that recently brought in CPP players in an attempt to maintain their spot in a league.  The coach asked his rostered players to volunteer to give up their spot for the CPP players.  No one volunteered so the coach told them that they'd have to split time for the remaining games to make room for the CPP players.  I'm not saying the club made a bad choice (more on that below), maybe they handled it poorly, but whatever.  That's not the point.  As a parent paying for club sports (my oldest played club volleyball for 6 years and my other two have played club soccer for 4 and 6 years), I know what I want out of it.  I want a positive environment where my kids can get better at what they enjoy doing.  If my kids are learning what it means to commit to an activity, commit to a team and improving than it was money well spent.  What was that coach's objective?  Was it improving his own players?  Absolutely not.  His objective was maintaining his spot in the league because it's a recruiting tool.  If his team wasn't good enough to maintain their place in the league then that's who they are.  You stick with who you have to show your support, take your lumps, move down and work hard at training to improve your results.  Do you think that coach told the parent's that maintaining their spot in the league is more important than their kid's confidence or development?  Of course not.  He told them what they wanted to hear to get them to sign the financial agreement.

Parent's are not without blame here either.  Too many parent's use a team's league or win-loss record as the measuring stick for quality or coaching ability.  When those parent's leave at the end of the contract because they weren't winning or got relegated or their kid didn't play the club is left holding the bag.  The club has to make the right decision for the club because they can't count on parent's sticking around to fight it out next year.

My advice for parent's looking at playing club sports, any club sport, is to do your best to find a good fit for your player.  Set the expectations with your kid(s) and discuss the importance of committing to something and what that means.  Talking to the club or coach is a good idea, but take it for what it is.  Attend a training session or two and see how the coach handles the team, how he progresses through the session and look at the body language of the players.  Are they positive or just going through the motions?  Is the coach keeping the players engaged?  Is the coach maximizing touches on the ball and keeping the players involved in the session.  How does your player's skill level compare to the others?  What are your goals?  What are your player's goals?  Signing up for a top tier team in a top tier league isn't a bad idea, but if your player is not on par with the other players than be prepared to watch your kid support the team from the sideline.  You may go to 50+ games and play in multiple leagues or tournaments and spend thousands and thousands of dollars and only see your player get token minutes to rest a starter.  The coach and club aren't going to tell you that.  Use your own eyes and make the best decision for you and your player for the contract year.  Rinse and repeat at the end of the contract.

This is both EXCELLENT Advice + Analysis ... especially if you are newer to the NTX Soccer landscape!

Put more stock into what You and Your (BB/DD) want to get out of the soccer experience ... and forget all the noise in regards to the "Club" prestige ... I'll caveat this next statement as my "opinion, and broad generalization", but far too often the priorities of the Club and Coach is to do whatever necessary to ensure Residual Income to the next season ... often to the detriment of the paying customer.

Our first step in due diligence was always about what kind of a PERSON are they not any soccer background or certifications.

Are they someone I would want my child spending time around, learning from and being influenced by regardless of soccer qualifications.

What do other coaches and parents say about them as a person. What other success in life have they had or are they having other than youth soccer. Go watch one of their games from afar and watch the coach in action. What does your internal slimeball meter register when you talk to them?

JohnnyUtah wrote:I would say homework was done.  However, your child wants to go where friends go.  It’s sad they can’t do that safely.  Parents hooking up with coaches for playing time is pathetic.  These all sound like excuses.  

Yes it is sad, but that is where the tough part of parenting comes in.

No one else is looking out for your DD's best interests, so be the parent and make the call on what is in your DD's best interest, based on what your due diligence tells you.

[quote="cadenhead"]Youth soccer in NTX is almost completely unregulated. What sort of due diligence can a parent do?  There is no licensing requirement to coach at any level.  There is no continuing education requirement to maintain a coaching license.  There is no way to verify a coach's license.  You can attend a tryout or talk to the coach, but that's like a job interview.  You're probably not going to get an honest answer.  No one goes to a job interview and says that they're going to spend half their day reading Facebook and the other half napping on their Costanza cot.

I know a team that recently brought in CPP players in an attempt to maintain their spot in a league.  The coach asked his rostered players to volunteer to give up their spot for the CPP players.  No one volunteered so the coach told them that they'd have to split time for the remaining games to make room for the CPP players.  I'm not saying the club made a bad choice (more on that below), maybe they handled it poorly, but whatever.  That's not the point.  As a parent paying for club sports (my oldest played club volleyball for 6 years and my other two have played club soccer for 4 and 6 years), I know what I want out of it.  I want a positive environment where my kids can get better at what they enjoy doing.  If my kids are learning what it means to commit to an activity, commit to a team and improving than it was money well spent.  What was that coach's objective?  Was it improving his own players?  Absolutely not.  His objective was maintaining his spot in the league because it's a recruiting tool.  If his team wasn't good enough to maintain their place in the league then that's who they are.  You stick with who you have to show your support, take your lumps, move down and work hard at training to improve your results.  Do you think that coach told the parent's that maintaining their spot in the league is more important than their kid's confidence or development?  Of course not.  He told them what they wanted to hear to get them to sign the financial agreement.

Parent's are not without blame here either.  Too many parent's use a team's league or win-loss record as the measuring stick for quality or coaching ability.  When those parent's leave at the end of the contract because they weren't winning or got relegated or their kid didn't play the club is left holding the bag.  The club has to make the right decision for the club because they can't count on parent's sticking around to fight it out next year.

My advice for parent's looking at playing club sports, any club sport, is to do your best to find a good fit for your player.  Set the expectations with your kid(s) and discuss the importance of committing to something and what that means.  Talking to the club or coach is a good idea, but take it for what it is.  Attend a training session or two and see how the coach handles the team, how he progresses through the session and look at the body language of the players.  Are they positive or just going through the motions?  Is the coach keeping the players engaged?  Is the coach maximizing touches on the ball and keeping the players involved in the session.  How does your player's skill level compare to the others?  What are your goals?  What are your player's goals?  Signing up for a top tier team in a top tier league isn't a bad idea, but if your player is not on par with the other players than be prepared to watch your kid support the team from the sideline.  You may go to 50+ games and play in multiple leagues or tournaments and spend thousands and thousands of dollars and only see your player get token minutes to rest a starter.  The coach and club aren't going to tell you that.  Use your own eyes and make the best decision for you and your player for the contract year.  Rinse and repeat at the end of the contract.[/quote]

Best post/comment I have ever read on this page.

JohnnyUtah wrote:The soccer world is getting a bit embarrassing.  We are suppose to have our children look up to these coaches.  The coaches should be role models and show the kids what it is like to be part of a team and to do things the right way.  Instead there had been money issues, coaches hooking up with parents of players or calling still trying to get a booty call from an ex-players parent, or lied during the recruitment period, or worse of all the complete lack of work ethic.  It’s bad reallly bad.  Sad to say as a former player that I almost do not want my child involved in it. My kiddo is smart and has figured some things out on her own.  Just a sad world.

What Club are you with? These are awful allegations.

AngelinaGoalee wrote:Foxy ain’t got no nightstand...just an air mattress and stained carpet and a lamp on the floor with a velvet lampshade!!

Angelina you ol nasty ho..what you talkin about. Your numbers on the wall of every porta potty at utd and your kid don’t even play soccer.

Foxysoccermom wrote:

AngelinaGoalee wrote:Foxy ain’t got no nightstand...just an air mattress and stained carpet and a lamp on the floor with a velvet lampshade!!

Angelina you ol nasty ho..what you talkin about. Your numbers on the wall of every porta potty at utd and your kid don’t even play soccer.

Shame on me for feeding the troll but you’re hilarious!!

AngelinaGoalee wrote:Foxy ain’t got no nightstand...just an air mattress and stained carpet and a lamp on the floor with a velvet lampshade!!

If it wasn't Foxy, who was she? I guess I need to stop drinking cheap tequila at bars near MoneyGram.

coachdom23 wrote:

AngelinaGoalee wrote:Foxy ain’t got no nightstand...just an air mattress and stained carpet and a lamp on the floor with a velvet lampshade!!

If it wasn't Foxy, who was she? I guess I need to stop drinking cheap tequila at bars near MoneyGram.

For your sake, I hope it wasn't BENDMEOVER (or one of his 27 other personalities aliases).