CONGRATULATIONS to the tournament winners this weekend!

Rookie wrote:

Gunner9 wrote:

silentparent wrote:

go99 wrote:who cares if the coach made a mistake, too many kids, or the virgin mary herself showed up to play. She is not playing with my kids jersey period. Coach can ask for whatever he wants but you have to be weak enough to give it to him

i agree with you, but strangely no one brought this up, Why have the roster player sit out? would be better to say to guest player(who pays nothing and will not be on the team), i'm sorry, i made a mistake and we can't use YOU.......

You can't say that. The guest player is a BIG DOG...

Not just any BIG DOG....an ECNL BIG DOG

I am smiling when i write this.. Yes you can if you have the balls...

Bottom line, you can look at it any way you want. It's a business. It is these coaches' business to train players to be great, form teams that win games. Parents pay big bucks to watch their daughters play with good players, play for great coaches. Those who choose to believe winning doesn't matter....well I will love to see where you are next year at this time. If you have never done this before, then you have no idea what you are in for. But I will guarantee one thing....the majority of you "die hard" posters will NOT sit back and let your daughter play for a team that doesn't win a few. I've seen it for 4 years now. Players leave because parents think their daughter is better than their team's record. So quit pretending like winning doesn't matter. No one plays a game-soccer, tag, or Monopoly-to lose. And if your daughter is the weak link in the team, then prepare yourself and her for hurt feelings. Perhaps you will do better the second time around finding a team better suited to her talents. Take off the rose colored glasses now-you will save yourself and your daughter lots of tears in the future.

flyonawall wrote:Bottom line, you can look at it any way you want. It's a business. It is these coaches' business to train players to be great, form teams that win games. Parents pay big bucks to watch their daughters play with good players, play for great coaches. Those who choose to believe winning doesn't matter....well I will love to see where you are next year at this time. If you have never done this before, then you have no idea what you are in for. But I will guarantee one thing....the majority of you "die hard" posters will NOT sit back and let your daughter play for a team that doesn't win a few. I've seen it for 4 years now. Players leave because parents think their daughter is better than their team's record. So quit pretending like winning doesn't matter. No one plays a game-soccer, tag, or Monopoly-to lose. And if your daughter is the weak link in the team, then prepare yourself and her for hurt feelings. Perhaps you will do better the second time around finding a team better suited to her talents. Take off the rose colored glasses now-you will save yourself and your daughter lots of tears in the future.

when my daughter plays for free, i will accept this. as long as the club holds out its hand for a check, i am the one paying the bills and i don't pay people to treat me or my family like crap....

Then choose wisely.....that's all I'm saying. If you are trying to make your daughter fit onto a team she isn't quite ready for, be prepared to be the number 15th or 16th player and all that goes along with it. A coach benching a kid who isn't performing isn't treating her or her family Iike crap. It's the beast that is select soccer.

TheDudeAbides wrote:

flyonawall wrote:It's obvious Dudes that you have it out for her..... No need to try and tear a coach down because it didn't work out for your dd. You will find stories about every single select coach out there. Most coaches you either love, or you hate. YOUR opinion directly depends on if they like YOUR daughter. So move on.....

I have a disdain for children being treated poorly! This is a great venue for airing it out. Come July 1 your DD & family will be parked for a year. The contracts that are to be signed are sooo one sided. This forum can be a wonderful tool for helping people walk into a situation "eyes wide open!"

Rankings are great, talking of LW being a pirate is funny, Herradura's human rankings are both insightful & humorous, tournament info is useful etc,etc...
Listening to others experiences that have walked before you is of real value!

Outside of your parents, teachers & coaches are powerful figures!

Moving On

Can't you see that these people want the discussion off this coach and onto the parent. Everytime you hit the nail on the head someone throws in a distraction. "Oh, AG has aright to be an a$h0le but it is the parents fault." "Oh, NTX is about winning" They don't want your truth about this coach. They want distractions so this story can move on as soon a possible. Just move on Dude.

Let me dig up my first warning shot on this coach. I am sure there was something about not developing and not using a bench. Let me see.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion of any coach...but a "warning" from an apparent disgruntled dad whose kid obviously didn't make the coach's cut? Please, if we want to start slinging mud at coaches on here, I can come out slinging like the rest of them. But be cautious.....most "warnings" from now until July 1 will be a parent's hurt pride and ego "airing it out". Your daughter's coach or my daughter's coach could be next...there's a story and opinion out there for each and every one.

TruthSerum wrote:

TheDudeAbides wrote:

flyonawall wrote:It's obvious Dudes that you have it out for her..... No need to try and tear a coach down because it didn't work out for your dd. You will find stories about every single select coach out there. Most coaches you either love, or you hate. YOUR opinion directly depends on if they like YOUR daughter. So move on.....

I have a disdain for children being treated poorly! This is a great venue for airing it out. Come July 1 your DD & family will be parked for a year. The contracts that are to be signed are sooo one sided. This forum can be a wonderful tool for helping people walk into a situation "eyes wide open!"

Rankings are great, talking of LW being a pirate is funny, Herradura's human rankings are both insightful & humorous, tournament info is useful etc,etc...
Listening to others experiences that have walked before you is of real value!

Outside of your parents, teachers & coaches are powerful figures!

Moving On

Can't you see that these people want the discussion off this coach and onto the parent. Everytime you hit the nail on the head someone throws in a distraction. "Oh, AG has aright to be an a$h0le but it is the parents fault." "Oh, NTX is about winning" They don't want your truth about this coach. They want distractions so this story can move on as soon a possible. Just move on Dude.

Let me dig up my first warning shot on this coach. I am sure there was something about not developing and not using a bench. Let me see.

Oh great, you are back. Skirting direct questions and throwing rocks at everyone else as always... How about providing some "truth" about your dis-functional program you have running over there rather than conjuring up half truths about others?

Who knows if true or not. If so, terrible thing to do to a 10 year old.... 15,16 would be another story. That's the problem with some of these select coaches creeping further into academy. Physically these girls are good soccer players but mentally still 7-10 year olds.

Finally, I think many times a coach wants a player off the team but doesn't have the nerve to tell the parents there is no fit so the kids take the brunt of the coaches hints. It's too bad.

OMG what is wrong with you people?

This is not about guest players
Not about winning
Not about tact
Not about coaching
Not even about bad coach or good coach

This is about a person willing to endure anything to be on a team.

I don't care if the coach says "Jesus want's to play with us this weekend" Jesus would have to get his own jersey because he is not getting mine. The what's, why's, etc don't matter. I payed for it you can't have it and if I payed for the tournament my dd is going to that too otherwise "Houston we have a problem"

Being so weak and so affraid you would willingly give away whats yours is the only issue here

go99 wrote:OMG what is wrong with you people?

This is not about guest players
Not about winning
Not about tact
Not about coaching
Not even about bad coach or good coach

This is about a person willing to endure anything to be on a team.

I don't care if the coach says "Jesus want's to play with us this weekend" Jesus would have to get his own jersey because he is not getting mine. The what's, why's, etc don't matter. I payed for it you can't have it and if I payed for the tournament my dd is going to that too otherwise "Houston we have a problem"

Being so weak and so affraid you would willingly give away whats yours is the only issue here

is go99 and myself the only ones who see this?

silentparent wrote:

go99 wrote:OMG what is wrong with you people?

This is not about guest players
Not about winning
Not about tact
Not about coaching
Not even about bad coach or good coach

This is about a person willing to endure anything to be on a team.

I don't care if the coach says "Jesus want's to play with us this weekend" Jesus would have to get his own jersey because he is not getting mine. The what's, why's, etc don't matter. I payed for it you can't have it and if I payed for the tournament my dd is going to that too otherwise "Houston we have a problem"

Being so weak and so affraid you would willingly give away whats yours is the only issue here

is go99 and myself the only ones who see this?

Agree 100%... My point is coach probably sending kid and parent a signal instead of just telling the parent daughter is not a fit.

I think we all appreciate your bravado Go99.
But let's assume this happened as reported....
This was a conversation between player and coach.
Dad was not part of the mix.
The kid was asked for her jersey by the authority figure, her coach.
We can analyze it to death, but at the moment, coach wanted her do to something to help her team. I think the situation is really sad,
BUT
Most kids I know would have obliged.

I asked my 99 boy and he said no he wouldn't have. Maybe it's because I taught him to stand up for himself and what he believes in. But lets say my kids was that weak (we are talking 13 not . As soon as the parents found out which should have been fairly quickly. There should have been a conversation had with the coach. Which would have resulted in him giving me the jersey back or me taking it.

Several years back a coach got in trouble for having inapproriate contact with players. None of the kids said anything because they didn't want to get in trouble or get put off the team. Same weakness, same blindly following authority, same parental failure of their kids. Oh and then the secret whining behind the coaches back just makes it even worse.

Oh Let me add. This is youth soccer. You do not sacrifice yourself or your kid for the team.

go99 wrote:I asked my 99 boy and he said no he wouldn't have. Maybe it's because I taught him to stand up for himself and what he believes in. But lets say my kids was that weak (we are talking 13 not . As soon as the parents found out which should have been fairly quickly. There should have been a conversation had with the coach. Which would have resulted in him giving me the jersey back or me taking it.

Several years back a coach got in trouble for having inapproriate contact with players. None of the kids said anything because they didn't want to get in trouble or get put off the team. Same weakness, same blindly following authority, same parental failure of their kids. Oh and then the secret whining behind the coaches back just makes it even worse.

C'mon Man asking for a jersey and inappropriate contact are apples and oranges

You really expect a 13 year old girl to stand up to a coach about a jersey- when she has been taught to listen to and respect them for years....give me a break. If you want to jump on the parents fine, but maybe they have a little more wisdom/maturity than you and thought that might not be the right time and place.

When you put winning in front of development, this happens.

Can you have both? yes. But there will always be the ones that get left behind, and they will be sad and hurt - that's competitive soccer.

I despise academy. I hated the idea when they initially proposed it almost 10 years ago. It's just too darn young for that kind of pressure on these kids. They have to learn to love the game first. If they end up feeling the pressure at U-8 by competing for roster spots, they will hate the game by the time they are teenagers - and then there will be even more extremely talented soccer players that don't play soccer anymore. I say disband the academy system.

Cmon_Man wrote:

go99 wrote:I asked my 99 boy and he said no he wouldn't have. Maybe it's because I taught him to stand up for himself and what he believes in. But lets say my kids was that weak (we are talking 13 not . As soon as the parents found out which should have been fairly quickly. There should have been a conversation had with the coach. Which would have resulted in him giving me the jersey back or me taking it.

Several years back a coach got in trouble for having inapproriate contact with players. None of the kids said anything because they didn't want to get in trouble or get put off the team. Same weakness, same blindly following authority, same parental failure of their kids. Oh and then the secret whining behind the coaches back just makes it even worse.

C'mon Man asking for a jersey and inappropriate contact are apples and oranges

You really expect a 13 year old girl to stand up to a coach about a jersey- when she has been taught to listen to and respect them for years....give me a break. If you want to jump on the parents fine, but maybe they have a little more wisdom/maturity than you and thought that might not be the right time and place.

Ah got it. So the wisdom and maturity they have has put their daughter to the point of wanting to quite soccer. So may want to at least rethink the wisdom part. The right time was not after the tournament and it was already done. The mature thing is not to sneak around and complain behind the coaches back. And yes That is exactly what I expect. I expect a kid to have the personal strength to stand up for what they believe in. If you teach your kid to blindly follow authority be prepared to live with the bad things that authority does to them. But just a question WHEN was the right time and place?

go99 wrote:

Cmon_Man wrote:

go99 wrote:I asked my 99 boy and he said no he wouldn't have. Maybe it's because I taught him to stand up for himself and what he believes in. But lets say my kids was that weak (we are talking 13 not . As soon as the parents found out which should have been fairly quickly. There should have been a conversation had with the coach. Which would have resulted in him giving me the jersey back or me taking it.

Several years back a coach got in trouble for having inapproriate contact with players. None of the kids said anything because they didn't want to get in trouble or get put off the team. Same weakness, same blindly following authority, same parental failure of their kids. Oh and then the secret whining behind the coaches back just makes it even worse.

C'mon Man asking for a jersey and inappropriate contact are apples and oranges

You really expect a 13 year old girl to stand up to a coach about a jersey- when she has been taught to listen to and respect them for years....give me a break. If you want to jump on the parents fine, but maybe they have a little more wisdom/maturity than you and thought that might not be the right time and place.

Ah got it. So the wisdom and maturity they have has put their daughter to the point of wanting to quite soccer. So may want to at least rethink the wisdom part. The right time was not after the tournament and it was already done. The mature thing is not to sneak around and complain behind the coaches back. And yes That is exactly what I expect. I expect a kid to have the personal strength to stand up for what they believe in. If you teach your kid to blindly follow authority be prepared to live with the bad things that authority does to them. But just a question WHEN was the right time and place?

YYYYaaaaaaaaaaaaY Go99 and RASE04!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are like sooooooooooooo soccer SMART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go-Fight-Win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xxxxxxoooooo

your welcome.

!!!Bump!!!

go99 wrote:

Cmon_Man wrote:

go99 wrote:I asked my 99 boy and he said no he wouldn't have. Maybe it's because I taught him to stand up for himself and what he believes in. But lets say my kids was that weak (we are talking 13 not . As soon as the parents found out which should have been fairly quickly. There should have been a conversation had with the coach. Which would have resulted in him giving me the jersey back or me taking it.

Several years back a coach got in trouble for having inapproriate contact with players. None of the kids said anything because they didn't want to get in trouble or get put off the team. Same weakness, same blindly following authority, same parental failure of their kids. Oh and then the secret whining behind the coaches back just makes it even worse.

C'mon Man asking for a jersey and inappropriate contact are apples and oranges

You really expect a 13 year old girl to stand up to a coach about a jersey- when she has been taught to listen to and respect them for years....give me a break. If you want to jump on the parents fine, but maybe they have a little more wisdom/maturity than you and thought that might not be the right time and place.

Ah got it. So the wisdom and maturity they have has put their daughter to the point of wanting to quite soccer. So may want to at least rethink the wisdom part. The right time was not after the tournament and it was already done. The mature thing is not to sneak around and complain behind the coaches back. And yes That is exactly what I expect. I expect a kid to have the personal strength to stand up for what they believe in. If you teach your kid to blindly follow authority be prepared to live with the bad things that authority does to them. But just a question WHEN was the right time and place?

I do not expect my kids to blindly follow authority and we have talked to them explicitly about not obeying authorities when you are asked to do something ethically or morally wrong (i.e. inappropriate contact for example). But a coach asking for a Jersey does not fall under that umbrella for me. I have no idea what the parents did or thought.

If it were me- I would go over and discuss it with the coach at that time, but I am not going to embarrass my daughter or myself in the process. You indicated that you would go over there and he would either “give you the jersey or you would take it”. That seems like a rather sophomoric attitude to me. If the coach has already taken this position- do you think your daughter would get any additional playing time regardless of the result of the fight over the jersey?

I would try to deal with it at the game if possible, but given the position already taken by the coach it is more likely it will be a conversation for the next week. My daughters (and my) reputation is worth more than one soccer game and I am not about to go have a knock out drag out fight in front of the whole team and their opponents. Although I would not like the result that day- it would be a clear indication my daughter’s soccer future does not lie with this coach and that is good to know.

Oh my daughter would be done there because the coaches position was clear. But he would not be using the jersey that I paid for. If giving the jersey up is so traumatic that it would make you want to give up the game of soccer then why not just say "no coach, I don't want to give up my jersey" I tell my 99 all the time if you have a problem, question, or concern you should go talk to the coach. You have to learn to solve your own problems.

go99 wrote:Oh my daughter would be done there because the coaches position was clear. But he would not be using the jersey that I paid for. If giving the jersey up is so traumatic that it would make you want to give up the game of soccer then why not just say "no coach, I don't want to give up my jersey" I tell my 99 all the time if you have a problem, question, or concern you should go talk to the coach. You have to learn to solve your own problems.

YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY go99

way to hypothetically defend that jersey!!!!!!!! You like TOTALLY ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RASE 04 must be SOOOOOO proud to have you representing them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY!!!!!!!!

xxxooo

In my experience, top-tier coaches (especially the ones that played professionally), have the maturity of a 14 year old girl. They are ruled by self-pride and feel invincible in their decision making. Assuming this happened the way it did, the coach in question was not the slightest bit concerned about how the little girl would feel. His ethical compass was not even registering this as something being remotely inappropriate.

My older player was with a big club's top team, and a full-time starter (played US Academy, or ECNL on the girls side). He was getting stagnant, and on the advise from some peers, decided to attend an open practice with a coach from another big club who was new to the metroplex. He went with another perpetual starter on his current team. He liked the new coach, but at the next practice with his current team, his current coach cut both him and the other player saying they were not good enough to be on his team. "I broke up with you before you broke up with me!"...comical, really. But it shows how their ethics take a backseat to their ego.

"If it were me- I would go over and discuss it with the coach at that time, but I am not going to embarrass my daughter or myself in the process. You indicated that you would go over there and he would either “give you the jersey or you would take it”. That seems like a rather sophomoric attitude to me. If the coach has already taken this position- do you think your daughter would get any additional playing time regardless of the result of the fight over the jersey?

I would try to deal with it at the game if possible, but given the position already taken by the coach it is more likely it will be a conversation for the next week. My daughters (and my) reputation is worth more than one soccer game and I am not about to go have a knock out drag out fight in front of the whole team and their opponents. Although I would not like the result that day- it would be a clear indication my daughter’s soccer future does not lie with this coach and that is good to know. " by Cmon_MAN

Winning! Class and Mature response. Don't cause the scene in front of or in public for the daughter's sake!

Beside's putting a Hit out by Hiring the Viper Soccer Mafia is an easier more effective route.

YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY go99

way to hypothetically defend that jersey!!!!!!!! You like TOTALLY ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RASE 04 must be SOOOOOO proud to have you representing them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY!!!!!!!!

xxxooo[/quote]

I do kinda rock. But with you following me from thread to thread I kinda feel like you are stalking me now . Should I be worried? You aren't dangerous are you?

go99 wrote:YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY go99

way to hypothetically defend that jersey!!!!!!!! You like TOTALLY ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RASE 04 must be SOOOOOO proud to have you representing them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY!!!!!!!!

xxxooo

I do kinda rock. But with you following me from thread to thread I kinda feel like you are stalking me now . Should I be worried? You aren't dangerous are you?[/quote]

No silly, I'm a cheerleader!!!

Now for the top poster this month- CONGRATS! !!!!!!!!!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaay Go99 and RASE 04!!!!!!!!

Xxxooo