Trash talking by coaches to players in other teams

I want to share something that happened in academy soccer and want to handle hhe best way possible. Has anyone gone through this before. I have seen this happen to several kids in our team and the funny thing is the trash taking coach feels he is getting into the kids of opposition kids head and anyhow it did not work out like he wished. I am talking about academy kids here. I am glad our coach saw this incident and talked to our kids and told the kids to ignore the barking pendojo and score a few goals. Does this guy need councelling? I will share his is soon if he replies to this post. Seriously, IMO, the opposition coach has concerns about his child's growth, compared to kids in our team and he doesn't know what he is doing. Please share ur experiences on how to deal with such a jerk.

If the league is sanctioned by North Texas Soccer, the coach is in violation of NTSSA Bylaws and Rules, Code of Ethics and Conduct, specifically Chapter 11 Article VII.

The coach would certainly be in violation of league rules as well.

File a very detailed complaint with the league - game date/time, location, league, teams and be very specific about what was said. The league's Disciplinary Committee will review the complaint and could take one or more of several actions - file it away and wait for another complaint, monitor one or more of the coach's future games, hold a hearing and/or elevate the complaint to NTSSA.

You may also just teach your kids that there are rude people in the world and to ignore them. Sticks and stones.

An experienced referee will shut this stuff down by warning the coach and dismissing him/her if necessary.

What you do NOT want to do is confront the coach or get into a argument with opposing spectators.

If you want to put someone on blast, just put them on blast.

Thanks for the insightful reply. Complaint was filed and the league is aware. The ball is in the leagues court and I will followup. We were upset. However , There was no confrontation with the other coach or opposition parents since I was trying to get the facts right before accusations. We were not aware of trash talk until half time when my kiddo came concerned to the parents bench. Our coach was made aware of the situation and he handled it right. The ref was young ,I believe warned the idiot coach several times. coaches

upper95 wrote:If the league is sanctioned by North Texas Soccer, the coach is in violation of NTSSA Bylaws and Rules, Code of Ethics and Conduct, specifically Chapter 11 Article VII.    

The coach would certainly be in violation of league rules as well.

File a very detailed complaint with the league - game date/time, location, league, teams and be very specific about what was said.  The league's Disciplinary Committee will review the complaint and could take one or more of several actions - file it away and wait for another complaint, monitor one or more of the coach's future games, hold a hearing and/or elevate the complaint to NTSSA.

You may also just teach your kids that there are rude people in the world and to ignore them.  Sticks and stones.

An experienced referee will shut this stuff down by warning the coach and dismissing him/her if necessary.

What you do NOT want to do is confront the coach or get into a argument with opposing spectators.

If I need to I will. Right is I'll leave it to the league to take appropriate action.

Sho'nuff wrote:If you want to put someone on blast, just put them on blast.  

Typo. Right now , I'll leave it to the league.

In the 4 years we've been involved, 2 academy, 2 select I've only seen this happen once. Overall I'd say the coaches (even the screamers) have been kind to the opposing players.

Now, the number of ref's I think need reporting...that is a different story.

Since, I've only seen parents do it, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict this is a parent coach the OP is referring to.

OMG if you don't have the stones to actually post the information then don't post it. Let the league handle it (which they won't) so then stop with the teasers. "oh I had a huge incident that I will tell you about at a later date. Post the information and you may hear a different side to the story or may hear that this coach is a multiple offender. But as far as the league goes, they cash checks not deal with coaches.

You can speculate what u want The league is concerned. They sent me a msg. I am tied up today. I'll contact them Trow

go99 - not all leagues are interested in just the $$$

no speculation because really not that concerned but I have never heard of any of the leagues actually doing anything to a coach so not inclined to believe they would start now.

CFBSA wrote:go99 - not all leagues are interested in just the $$$

okay got it. some are interested in lawncare techniques and world peace. But okay I'll bite. Exactly what would your league do to the coach?

UAL has an A&D committee and once the facts are given to us then a punishment could be issued. Academy isn't any different than rec or competitive play - not sure why some think academy coaches are untouchable. You act as an idiot you will punished as such. Just waiting on the facts of what happened. Golden rule - can't fix anything if I'm not aware it's broken.

go99 wrote:no speculation because really not that concerned but I have never heard of any of the leagues actually doing anything to a coach so not inclined to believe they would start now.

I recall LH suspending a Sting coach a couple of years ago.

go99 wrote:no speculation because really not that concerned but I have never heard of any of the leagues actually doing anything to a coach so not inclined to believe they would start now.

So since you haven't heard of it, then we should take that as fact? You hammer on Maradona and then throw out the big blanket statement. I wouldn't poke the bear (Nicole), if you haven't heard she has a lot on her plate. You might get bit!

I recall LH suspending a Texans coach this season for a couple games (note: he had not been sent off by the referee).
So, it does happen.

I recall a coach being suspended for spitting on the opposing coach for a couple of games. The next year he was suspended again for spitting and fighting. Guess there wasn't much sting in that "punishment" so again I really don't recall any league providing any punishment of note to any coach. Oh and I like poking bears. Oh wait that doesn't sound right. I take that back.
But to my original point. If you don't have the guts to actually put out the whole story then don't but stop with the teasers.

The absolute worst trash talking incident I have witnessed was an intoxicated coach taunting a kid whose dad had died with "who's your daddy?" Coach was banned, team dissolved. Rec league of course.

I would think that any league who regulates what sidelines dwellers can say or do, that they would have the same consideration for coaches (or even players) who Taunt, name call or otherwise exhibit rude behavior.

Yes. Any league sanctioned by NTSSA is subject to its ethics and behavioral rules, and these are enumerated for coaches, players and spectators. A league may provide its adaptation of the rules with additions or clarifications. UAL specifically states on its website that it adheres to NTSSA rules and provides a link.

See chapter 11 regarding ethics, and section 3.11 regarding discipline.
http://www.ntxsoccer.org/assets/pdfs/2014-2015_NTSSA_Bylaws_and_Rules_2-10-15.pdf

There are more instances of spectator misconduct due to relative numbers (up to 50+ at a game), lack of understanding of the game and the "living through your child" syndrome, taking personally any perceived aggrievance of their child.

Maradonamoves wrote:I want to share something that happened in academy soccer and want to handle hhe best way possible.  Has anyone gone through this before.  I have seen this happen to several kids in our team and the funny thing is the trash taking coach feels he is getting into the kids of opposition  kids head and anyhow it did not work out like he wished.  I am talking about academy kids here. I am glad our coach saw this incident and talked to our kids and told the kids to ignore the barking pendojo and score a few goals.  Does this guy need councelling?  I will share his is soon if he replies to this post. Seriously, IMO, the opposition coach has concerns about his child's growth, compared to kids in our team  and he doesn't know what he is doing.  Please share ur experiences on how to deal with such a jerk.

I've not experienced this with my kids in select or academy soccer yet, though I have has my son experience it in baseball and lacrosse. I have personally though in the past. What you are doing is right. The league will most likely just slap them on the wrist and tell Johnny/Joannie to be a good boy/girl. This coach may have had a bad day that game and its not a pattern for them. If it becomes a pattern for this coach, then it becomes more serious. Then making others aware is a good community activity. But shaming someone on a public forum is not warranted until that person becomes a habitual offender. So don't feed the gossip mongers.

Lastly and more importantly, one other piece of advice I think may be valuable from this situation. I would say as a parent and, hopefully, a coach, try to see this as an opportunity. It's an opportunity to help your player or DD/BB who was abused and the team in general to grow mentally. Once they know that any person that uses bully-tactics really comes from a position of fear and weakness and not strength, they can effectively flip the negativity in the players mind to one of defense/anxiety to a position of mentally controlling it and thus taking power. When that coach realizes the palyer and the team cannot be intimidated, he/she will feel ashamed. Their pride will not allow them to admit it, but the next time you play against them, this coach will know that he/she cannot bully a player or this team into making mistakes. So I have always counseled my kids to use this as tool to develop mentally and that feeling sorry for those trying this is in order more than allowing the idiot to intimidate them. It works.

FierceLightning wrote:

Maradonamoves wrote:I want to share something that happened in academy soccer and want to handle hhe best way possible.  Has anyone gone through this before.  I have seen this happen to several kids in our team and the funny thing is the trash taking coach feels he is getting into the kids of opposition  kids head and anyhow it did not work out like he wished.  I am talking about academy kids here. I am glad our coach saw this incident and talked to our kids and told the kids to ignore the barking pendojo and score a few goals.  Does this guy need councelling?  I will share his is soon if he replies to this post. Seriously, IMO, the opposition coach has concerns about his child's growth, compared to kids in our team  and he doesn't know what he is doing.  Please share ur experiences on how to deal with such a jerk.

I've not experienced this with my kids in select or academy soccer yet, though I have has my son experience it in baseball and lacrosse. I have personally though in the past. What you are doing is right. The league will most likely just slap them on the wrist and tell Johnny/Joannie to be a good boy/girl. This coach may have had a bad day that game and its not a pattern for them. If it becomes a pattern for this coach, then it becomes more serious. Then making others aware is a good community activity. But shaming someone on a public forum is not warranted until that person becomes a habitual offender. So don't feed the gossip mongers.

Lastly and more importantly, one other piece of advice I think may be valuable from this situation. I would say as a parent and, hopefully, a coach, try to see this as an opportunity. It's an opportunity to help your player or DD/BB who was abused and the team in general to grow mentally. Once they know that any person that uses bully-tactics really comes from a position of fear and weakness and not strength, they can effectively flip the negativity in the players mind to one of defense/anxiety to a position of mentally controlling it and thus taking power. When that coach realizes the palyer and the team cannot be intimidated, he/she will feel ashamed. Their pride will not allow them to admit it, but the next time you play against them, this coach will know that he/she cannot bully a player or this team into making mistakes. So I have always counseled my kids to use this as tool to develop mentally and that feeling sorry for those trying this is in order more than allowing the idiot to intimidate them. It works.

The only gossip monger was the original poster. It's was a self created thread that no one asked for. So in that sense if you are not going to say anything then just don't. Don't suggest, don't promise, don't threaten. Just do or do not.

go99 wrote:Just do or do not.

...you forgot the "There is no try" part. Or should that have been "There is no tease"? ;-)