Team Shopping and Select

Maybe I should ask this of the older group instead but maybe you all have older kids and can help. As we come into this final full season before QT I have a question about what to do when you have a player who swings between 10th on the team and 15th on the team depending on how she is playing. We are very happy with our current team, coach, parents, etc and have been with them for a year. She gets play time. She does skills, etc. She is not always a starter but sometimes she is. Other players are visiting practice, of course, and you just never know when better players will come along and I would fully expect my DD to be replaced if enough do. Coach has been honest about where she "sits" teamwise and we know that he wants her but that she will be replaced if there is enough other talent in the next month or two. How do you deal with this situation as we don't want to leave this team if we can make the final 16 (even if she sits the bench a lot next as we are very happy with her development from practice). We have been with other teams and know the other possibilities and this team is definitely the best fit for our DD in terms of development and her happiness at this point. Do you simply keep your ears open and watch other teams at games? If we guest play I worry that it looks like we are not happy and I sure don't want to lose our spot (keeping in mind I don't have the stud forward where a coach will put up with a lot to keep her). Discuss with coach? Would like to hear some stories whoever has them.

If your DD is in a good situation developing and learning the game. Most important she is happy and you feel goo about the situation. I would recommend sitting tight and keep your eyes and ears open, but keep your thoughts and comments to yourself.

It's a very fine line between "the right fit" and development. Your kiddo will not develop if she is sitting on the bench. Yes, she will get practice and skills, but that is not the same as game time. A developing soccer player needs to develop both in and out of the game experience. I am a very firm believer that a field player needs to sit somewhere between 3-8 on a team. This way they will have players better than them to motivate and improve, and players below that they can be an example to and build their confidence. All the while ensuring game time. If a kid sit's on the bench too much they don't feel a part of the team and they don't get the development that they need. In the same light, a keeper needs to be full-time at this age, unless they are still torn between playing the field and the goal. I would not accept 10-16 on a roster. I have seen so many kids in that position, especially on D1 teams that end up very unhappy and wanting to quit. The coach will say she will play, but the bottom line is that they want and need to win and will do what it takes to get the job done, even if it means sitting kids game after game.
There is a small exception to this in that there are some coaches who believe in team development and will play every player even if it means risking the game. But that also causes problems for the team because the parents and the kids see it and the competitive ones will leave.
Hope this helps...just one opinion of the many out there

If you have talked with the coach and he has told you that your daughter could lose her spot on the team if other players come along that he wants, then you might want to have a backup plan at some point.

If that's not what he has told you, then you should talk with him so that you know where she stands. Ask him if he were picking the team today if she would be on the team. You probably want to check back with him after the spring season and going into June.

Based on what you say there is a dynamic on this team that works for your daughter and your family. Finding another team that works for her and your family is going to be hard if you find out in mid-June that she won't have a spot on her current team.

I completely agree with Airwynn and mm&i.

Please know that anything you dislike about this team now will be significantly compounded once you sign that first contract. The circumstances surrounding your dislikes may not have changed but things are about to get even more expensive and there's no easy escape from the year-long contractual commitment. Those things that used to be a little irritating suddenly become really irritating. (It's like the difference between dating and being married.)

That includes playtime. Once that contract is signed, you're locked in. If your DD only plays 50% of a game now, you should expect that to be reduced to 25%-40%. If she only plays 25% now, you should expect that to be reduced to 5%-10%.

The people that sign the bad contracts always seem to head into this first contract blindly. When they get passed over by their team of choice they're left to scramble at the last minute and grab whatever they can. Those are the big failures we read about in August and September.

It sounds like this coach is openly telling you that you need to be shopping around right now. He's doing you a favor by telling you this. Don't be a fool and ignore the clear warnings he's giving you. Start shopping now. Have a back-up plan and a back-up back-up plan.

I am going to completely disagree with the other comments even though I didn't read all of it . I have an older son who Started playing up. He went from a full time starter and playing the whole game to not starting and fighting for minutes. I have seen him improve as a player by leaps and bounds. Not only from the coaching but from the fight itself. Playtime does not make you better and can actually make you content and soft as a player. You have to give a clear picture to your DD and understand it yourself. Does she have what it takes to fight hard to improve and take her time on the field. The goal can't be to be number 12 and if she is happy with that then she may be better served to be on a lower level team. Not playing is not fun. It can be motivation to drive you forward or it can be motivation to make you quit. Find out which it is for her. Oh and even if she is number 16 get the commitment from the coach or start looking (and you don't have to tell him) Don't find yourself heading into summer with no options

Been through this with older ones...and I feel your pain. This is a tough, nerve-racking time, and things will only get crazier through the next year. The coaches are trying to build a team that can qualify for LGCL D1...if they can't get that, maybe D2..maybe PPL1..but they will pick up every talented player that steps into their path. period.

If your DD is a bench player now, but as you say you are happy with the coach, and your DD is happy, then you are in a good situation for you and your DD. However, if your team has a strong chance > 50/50 of qualifying, there will be studs from less successful teams that will come knocking this year. That would mean trouble for your DD's situation. Conversely, if your team is looking like a D2/PPL/APL team, a stud or two from your current team may leave for one of the stronger teams, thus making your DD's spot on this roster more secure.

It gets even crazier after the first season of classic. Stud players who thought their team would make D1 are off to the races on April 1, and will attend every D1 team practice they can until they get picked up. Every bench player on a D1 team is seriously at risk after that first year, and many starters end up riding the bench in year two. It eventually settles down, with the exception of the team(s) that gets relegated out of D1...its about a 50/50 chance that the team will implode, as the studs will want to stay in D1, and the team will be unable to recruit D1 caliber players to play on a D2 team.

So in a nutshell, keep your eyes open and watch your back.

This is great, guys, thanks. She is not really a bench sitter at this point as she does start quite a bit but you get new players and they need to be looked at as well, you know how it goes. And I was trying to figure out how the whole D1, D2 etc, thing would impact things. I have no desire for her to be on a D1 team even two years from now when they split into the actual D1,D2,D3 (2nd year of select I mean) I just want to keep her on a team where solid skills are taught (not kickball). In the event she develops into a solid D1 player and wants to change, she can do that later when she is older but I don't want to put our family through that stress/pressure unless she really wants to and can successfully do D1.

Thanks for all the input, I'm sure others have similar questions.

I think it just comes down to the kid.

Does she love it and have the drive enough to play at a high level for years to come? I think you should be able to tell by now if your DD has the drive to do so or not. Don't get me wrong, drive does not mean she will automatically be a D1 scholarship athlete. We all still have to deal with genetics, boys and cars and social etc... through the teenage years - but the work ethic and mindset it takes to play top level soccer should be pretty identifiable by this age.

My point is, if she has the drive and potential and love it takes to go to the next level, by all means fight, fight, fight. But on the other hand, if she just likes playing and is content with being 10-15, maybe a lower level team would be better - where there is not as much pressure to "perform or be replaced"... She would most likely thrive, build confidence, leadership skills etc... All of these can translate from soccer to real life rather than be beat down relegated to the bench and come away from the select experience feeling she is "not good enough".

There are plenty of great coaches that coach teams that are not D1 or even D2. And you never know when self confidence is built, drive can be kindled and the next level in soccer can still be achieved - if she wants it.

My child has been in a similar situation. This is what we did. I asked her do you want to stay with this team. She said yes. I told her that there is a chance that you could be moved down the depth chart or off, but I believe if you work real hard then it will all work out. She said that is what she wanted to do. Now unless you are on a top 1 or 2 team, then you will have folks come and go during this period of transition. From my experience, most teams hardly ever have too many that want on the club. In fact, if she is cut there are always top twenty clubs that do not have 16 and are looking well past signing day. You will find a home I promise. Do not worry as a new select soccer parent we always over analyze. To tell you the truth I think there is more movement after the first year because they cut D1 down to 10 teams. So in a long winded way, I think you will be just fine. Enjoy the ride.

flygirl wrote:I think it just comes down to the kid.

Does she love it and have the drive enough to play at a high level for years to come? I think you should be able to tell by now if your DD has the drive to do so or not. Don't get me wrong, drive does not mean she will automatically be a D1 scholarship athlete. We all still have to deal with genetics, boys and cars and social etc... through the teenage years - but the work ethic and mindset it takes to play top level soccer should be pretty identifiable by this age.

My point is, if she has the drive and potential and love it takes to go to the next level, by all means fight, fight, fight. But on the other hand, if she just likes playing and is content with being 10-15, maybe a lower level team would be better - where there is not as much pressure to "perform or be replaced"... She would most likely thrive, build confidence, leadership skills etc... All of these can translate from soccer to real life rather than be beat down relegated to the bench and come away from the select experience feeling she is "not good enough".

There are plenty of great coaches that coach teams that are not D1 or even D2. And you never know when self confidence is built, drive can be kindled and the next level in soccer can still be achieved - if she wants it.

Hey where's the "like" button on this thing?

There are several different perspectives being given on this thread. All of them are good.

If it were me, I would not keep my DD on the team. I'd be preparing to leave no matter how comfortable we felt. The fact that your coach has been honest and told you that your DD will be replaced if possible... No coach would say this to a family that he/she is interested in keeping or getting more invested in. He/she is politely showing you were the "Exit" door is located.

My DD may be different from yours. She's not motivated by the bench AT ALL. Sitting on the bench does not encourage her to work harder. In fact, time on the bench tends to make her play worse. The more time she is given on the field, the better and more confident she plays. If my DD attended every single practice, and every skill session, and tried hard throughout BUT still wasn't seeing rewards for that effort (like new minutes or starts) she would feel cheated and lose confidence quickly. (This happened to her.) My DD needs to feel like she's being treated fairly and being rewarded.

PalindromeEye - I think your coach is bracing you for bad news. He/she is telling you that it doesn't matter how hard your DD works that she should NOT expect to be treated fairly come August. "Fair" isn't a part of the playtime equation once that contract gets signed.

My experience is similar to that of bigtex; the impact on my girls' confidence would be difficult to overcome if they saw increasing time on the bench.

I suspect the girls that are more likely to step up to the challenge of competing for a spot are the ones competing for them on the teams aiming for D1.

I've seen girls give up the game due to losing confidence based on how they were treated by their coaches or how much playing time they were getting. While my sample size is small, I haven't seen any who have taken it as a challenge to earn more playing time. I have seen players work hard and burnout because of the expectations that their parents put on them, including the expectation to earn a spot on a specific team.

Just a question...if girls are playing in D1 does that mean that they are automatically being looked at for scholarships for college...personally I would rather have my daughter practice,develop skills and play in a game...no matter what division she was in as long as she can have those things..everything else is secondary...

" I haven't seen any who have taken it as a challenge to earn more playing time"

I have a daughter that is currently rising to that challenge. It takes will, discipline, work and patience. Just like life.

Bench Players-? They are called subs or say reserves etc. You all are looking at the bench as a bad thing. My bb and dd both spent some time on the bench for different reasons. My son was young and learning, very aggressive, but clueless. The Coach would instruct him before going in and then have him try to play his position which he was just learning. The Coach would sub him after 10 minutes and give feedback. Oh and this is the big kicker....if I tried to yell instructions and I did as I was getting frustrated with him and then the coach would take him out. The coach told me it was hard for him to listen to 2 coaches. So sometimes the Coach takes your kid out because you think you know more or are saying different instructions and confusing your son or daughter. This is probably most of us.....we just need to let the players be coached by their coaches, REC IS OVER!
My dd started on a lower level team as she grew and learned skills at U14 she joined a higher level team and then started to see some bench time as she was and is learning a new position....she struggles playing defense or defending. She is still learning and is enjoying the process...of course she wishes she played all the time, but now she is old enough to understand how to work hard for it.