Sad Days

coachdom23 wrote:

AngelinaGoalee wrote:Foxy ain’t got no nightstand...just an air mattress and stained carpet and a lamp on the floor with a velvet lampshade!!

If it wasn't Foxy, who was she? I guess I need to stop drinking cheap tequila at bars near MoneyGram.

skills wrote:

JohnnyUtah wrote:The soccer world is getting a bit embarrassing.  We are suppose to have our children look up to these coaches.  The coaches should be role models and show the kids what it is like to be part of a team and to do things the right way.  Instead there had been money issues, coaches hooking up with parents of players or calling still trying to get a booty call from an ex-players parent, or lied during the recruitment period, or worse of all the complete lack of work ethic.  It’s bad reallly bad.  Sad to say as a former player that I almost do not want my child involved in it. My kiddo is smart and has figured some things out on her own.  Just a sad world.

What Club are you with? These are awful allegations.

Zizou wrote:

skills wrote:

JohnnyUtah wrote:The soccer world is getting a bit embarrassing.  We are suppose to have our children look up to these coaches.  The coaches should be role models and show the kids what it is like to be part of a team and to do things the right way.  Instead there had been money issues, coaches hooking up with parents of players or calling still trying to get a booty call from an ex-players parent, or lied during the recruitment period, or worse of all the complete lack of work ethic.  It’s bad reallly bad.  Sad to say as a former player that I almost do not want my child involved in it. My kiddo is smart and has figured some things out on her own.  Just a sad world.

What Club are you with? These are awful allegations.

Be careful what you ask for. You might not want to hear the results.

OrangeBlooded wrote:I rarely get on her much the past few years, but nice to see some things will never change.  LOL!  I don’t speak about our soccer experiences on here much just because of the trolls that like to stir things up while hiding behind a screen name, but with my oldest about to play her final youth level games within the next month and reflecting on things, thought I would share some thoughts from this past year for those with open minds.  You might call it sour grapes, and that’s your right, but in all honesty, I consider myself a pretty patient guy (too patient according to my wife) and I don’t worry about fixing what can’t be undone or delusional to think any complaining about it will change history - just focusing on what can be accomplished with what’s in front of me.  But hey, sour grapes, whatever . . .

My daughter has played with competitive teams since she was 8 years old and is now in her senior year.  We've always done our due diligence and focused on REALISTIC expectations with coaches going in to each year, especially when she challenged herself to move up to a new level of competition and the likelihood of being a bench/supporting player to start with.  Every time we made a change, her development rate increased and she has worked her way up from a PPL level team @ age U11 to ECNL/DA levels for her high school years. And yes – I am a proud dad to see her challenge herself and overcome those to accomplish her goals, even when things don’t always go as hoped.  I've learned that a large majority of the "professional club" coaches in this world are simply lazy wanna-be's that just want to make a buck with no pride in what they can accomplish with these kids.  We had been EXTREMELY fortunate to have great coaches, managers, etc. for 9 of her 10 years and we are grateful for the entire experience from start to finish, and the fantastic coaches that she was able to work with.  

That being said, this being her final year, all she wanted before moving on to college soccer was to play on a team with players she enjoyed being around, a coach she liked that would continue to push her and help her accomplish her goals for the next level, and in general, just be able to play without stress of making gameday rosters week to week or fight for scraps of playing time.  She just wanted to enjoy playing.  New coach took over her team (a high level team – won’t say which, but well above LHGCL), but we were familiar with him and had heard good things from parents/players of other teams he coached - people that we knew we could trust their judgement (and still do).  We had honest and upfront discussion about what she wanted out of her final year and what he could offer.  Asked him to be honest with us and let us know up front if he could offer her what she was looking for her final year, because if not, she had a spot on a team with a former coach she LOVED as a backup (a couple other aspects of team not so much, but tolerable).  Long story short, he sold us on everything, made her feel good about her decision to stay, even sent several pages of plans for the year and efforts he will make out to all players on the team that were in line with what was discussed.

Instead, he loaded the team with close to 30 players with little to no room for dual rostering with other teams if  you don't make the gameday roster (fortunately mine always did), makes decisions completely based on his own selfinterests, made blatantly false comments on various topics to entire team, and then shuts off communication with parents & players who calmly, rationally, and openly reached out to him unless it was on his terms (and usually he just ignored it - and blew off my daughter several times when she requested time to speak with him).  She came to him for help many times, both on the field and how to handle soccer related situations off the field (college, injury, etc.) and he basically ignored her.  When they did discuss things and would develop specific action plans and expectations, she would follow through like a champ, just to be hung out to dry by her own a**hole coach.  I could go on and on with specific examples over the past 9 months, but what's the point - you get the picture.  It was like the stereotypical situations we had always heard about and knew were out there, fortunate enough to avoid, rolled in to one year of hell.  

Long story short, he's a liar, a fraud, completely mislead us and others on the team, misrepresented the club and himself, and (not exaggerating) worked AGAINST my daughter's attempts to accomplish the goals she set instead of working with her.  How he could claim to have any integrity is beyond me.  When he was called out on it, he would backtrack, just to do the same s*** again.  Her final year has only been salvaged by what she has to look forward to - and it hasn't been easy for her to keep focused and look past all the BS, lies, feelings of helplessness, and constantly looking at each others faces with that quizzical "why?" look without the ability to get an honest answer - both in writing and to our face.  But she will still finish her youth career with a smile on her face and a sense of accomplishment for ALL her years of playing, regardless of the hand dealt to her after signing this year.  One year is just a blip on the radar, right?

Moral of the story - yes, good coaches are out there, great coaches even, but as it was stated, they are without doubt few and far between.  Do your homework and due diligence – it’s a must, but know that there is still going to be some deception and “fluffling” from coaches.  The soccer population has grown so much over the past 10 years we've been involved, and now I have an 09G getting ready to start it all over again for us (god help me).  The attitudes of coaches have changed and the oversight by big clubs over them has diminished, mainly because those placed in the oversight positions (DOC's), would rather be coaching then babysitting. This I know for certain . . . unless you’re on the top team within one of the big 5 clubs, you are the red headed step child and most of the coach you play for at the lower levels will likely be concerned about getting paid first, his personal schedule second, and everything else after that.  Accept it and things will be much easier to swallow if you stick around.

OrangeBlooded wrote:I rarely get on her much the past few years, but nice to see some things will never change.  LOL!  

OrangeBlooded wrote:I rarely get on her much the past few years, but nice to see some things will never change.  LOL!  I don’t speak about our soccer experiences on here much just because of the trolls that like to stir things up while hiding behind a screen name, but with my oldest about to play her final youth level games within the next month and reflecting on things, thought I would share some thoughts from this past year for those with open minds.  You might call it sour grapes, and that’s your right, but in all honesty, I consider myself a pretty patient guy (too patient according to my wife) and I don’t worry about fixing what can’t be undone or delusional to think any complaining about it will change history - just focusing on what can be accomplished with what’s in front of me.  But hey, sour grapes, whatever . . .

My daughter has played with competitive teams since she was 8 years old and is now in her senior year.  We've always done our due diligence and focused on REALISTIC expectations with coaches going in to each year, especially when she challenged herself to move up to a new level of competition and the likelihood of being a bench/supporting player to start with.  Every time we made a change, her development rate increased and she has worked her way up from a PPL level team @ age U11 to ECNL/DA levels for her high school years. And yes – I am a proud dad to see her challenge herself and overcome those to accomplish her goals, even when things don’t always go as hoped.  I've learned that a large majority of the "professional club" coaches in this world are simply lazy wanna-be's that just want to make a buck with no pride in what they can accomplish with these kids.  We had been EXTREMELY fortunate to have great coaches, managers, etc. for 9 of her 10 years and we are grateful for the entire experience from start to finish, and the fantastic coaches that she was able to work with.  

That being said, this being her final year, all she wanted before moving on to college soccer was to play on a team with players she enjoyed being around, a coach she liked that would continue to push her and help her accomplish her goals for the next level, and in general, just be able to play without stress of making gameday rosters week to week or fight for scraps of playing time.  She just wanted to enjoy playing.  New coach took over her team (a high level team – won’t say which, but well above LHGCL), but we were familiar with him and had heard good things from parents/players of other teams he coached - people that we knew we could trust their judgement (and still do).  We had honest and upfront discussion about what she wanted out of her final year and what he could offer.  Asked him to be honest with us and let us know up front if he could offer her what she was looking for her final year, because if not, she had a spot on a team with a former coach she LOVED as a backup (a couple other aspects of team not so much, but tolerable).  Long story short, he sold us on everything, made her feel good about her decision to stay, even sent several pages of plans for the year and efforts he will make out to all players on the team that were in line with what was discussed.

Instead, he loaded the team with close to 30 players with little to no room for dual rostering with other teams if  you don't make the gameday roster (fortunately mine always did), makes decisions completely based on his own selfinterests, made blatantly false comments on various topics to entire team, and then shuts off communication with parents & players who calmly, rationally, and openly reached out to him unless it was on his terms (and usually he just ignored it - and blew off my daughter several times when she requested time to speak with him).  She came to him for help many times, both on the field and how to handle soccer related situations off the field (college, injury, etc.) and he basically ignored her.  When they did discuss things and would develop specific action plans and expectations, she would follow through like a champ, just to be hung out to dry by her own a**hole coach.  I could go on and on with specific examples over the past 9 months, but what's the point - you get the picture.  It was like the stereotypical situations we had always heard about and knew were out there, fortunate enough to avoid, rolled in to one year of hell.  

Long story short, he's a liar, a fraud, completely mislead us and others on the team, misrepresented the club and himself, and (not exaggerating) worked AGAINST my daughter's attempts to accomplish the goals she set instead of working with her.  How he could claim to have any integrity is beyond me.  When he was called out on it, he would backtrack, just to do the same s*** again.  Her final year has only been salvaged by what she has to look forward to - and it hasn't been easy for her to keep focused and look past all the BS, lies, feelings of helplessness, and constantly looking at each others faces with that quizzical "why?" look without the ability to get an honest answer - both in writing and to our face.  But she will still finish her youth career with a smile on her face and a sense of accomplishment for ALL her years of playing, regardless of the hand dealt to her after signing this year.  One year is just a blip on the radar, right?

Moral of the story - yes, good coaches are out there, great coaches even, but as it was stated, they are without doubt few and far between.  Do your homework and due diligence – it’s a must, but know that there is still going to be some deception and “fluffling” from coaches.  The soccer population has grown so much over the past 10 years we've been involved, and now I have an 09G getting ready to start it all over again for us (god help me).  The attitudes of coaches have changed and the oversight by big clubs over them has diminished, mainly because those placed in the oversight positions (DOC's), would rather be coaching then babysitting. This I know for certain . . . unless you’re on the top team within one of the big 5 clubs, you are the red headed step child and most of the coach you play for at the lower levels will likely be concerned about getting paid first, his personal schedule second, and everything else after that.  Accept it and things will be much easier to swallow if you stick around.

DeltaTauChi wrote:

OrangeBlooded wrote:I rarely get on her much the past few years, but nice to see some things will never change.  LOL!  

Well Hot Damn, if it ain't OB!  One of the OG's of the '01's!  Sounds like you've gone from Luna all the way to lunacy.

OrangeBlooded wrote:

DeltaTauChi wrote:

OrangeBlooded wrote:I rarely get on her much the past few years, but nice to see some things will never change.  LOL!  

Well Hot Damn, if it ain't OB!  One of the OG's of the '01's!  Sounds like you've gone from Luna all the way to lunacy.

Lunacy and beyond So much so that now my 09 is playing for Luna.

Soccerdad107 wrote:It is so funny, always blaming and calling out of people like you do no wrong. The one thing I never hear on these message boards is the fact there are more disrespectful little s***$ being raised these days. If you ask me that is one of the biggest problems with what's wrong with youth sports in general. The way kids talk back to parents, refs, coaches and cuss at other players is sickening. Any way if you think affairs, lack of work ethic, and morals is something new you are kidding yourself. It happens in every school, business, everywhere. Besides what would you all do with your time if there were no drama to talk about on here?

skills wrote:

JohnnyUtah wrote:The soccer world is getting a bit embarrassing.  We are suppose to have our children look up to these coaches.  The coaches should be role models and show the kids what it is like to be part of a team and to do things the right way.  Instead there had been money issues, coaches hooking up with parents of players or calling still trying to get a booty call from an ex-players parent, or lied during the recruitment period, or worse of all the complete lack of work ethic.  It’s bad reallly bad.  Sad to say as a former player that I almost do not want my child involved in it. My kiddo is smart and has figured some things out on her own.  Just a sad world.

What Club are you with? These are awful allegations.

Cerv1973 wrote:As I sit back and contemplate all the negativity towards the soccer environment in North Texas I wonder how lucky I must be. I am currently with a great team with a great set of parents with realistic expectations and a coach that cares for our kids more than he does himself. His door is always open to my ideas and concerns and even if we disagree he takes the time to hash it out with me.

However, if he didn’t do these things then I think I am responsible enough to find a suitable environment for my daughter. I mean, some of the posts here makes it sound like these are horrible relationships between parents, coaches and kids with no escape. Grow a pair and get yourself out of it, there isn’t a gun to your head or a pending lawsuit. Pay your dues and exit the relationship or build a case, don’t pay your dues and go straight to north Texas with your case.

I wonder how many of these stories are two sided, I wonder what the coach would say, I wonder what the child would say? And as far kids talking back; again, grow a pair and remind your child that the tail doesn’t wag the dog.

Anyhow, I doubt I hit the lottery, I think I did some research and set realistic expectations in choosing my coach. During the time I have been with him my daughter has excelled, she has gained playing time through hard work and commitment. She has learned great lessons in life about working hard and building physical and mental toughness. I think this is pretty easy to find if you can judge character. The only advice I would give is look early and talk to parents about a coach, go see a game and witness the coach’s demeanor; question the parents on the sideline and see what they think, attend a few practices and decide much like you would decide on which daycare you would send your child to.

My two cents, only because I think the negativity sucks.

Soccer2go wrote:Parents and players have to sign a code of conduct, do coaches? I’m guessing it is not part of their employment contract or else quite a few coaches would be gone from NTX soccer. We can all name coaches who had affairs with a parent, and most are still here. Clubs know what their coaches are doing and they allow it. Even with due diligence, parents don’t always know some of these things.