Question of the Day

I am wondering how much influence girl's bonding away from the pitch has on how well they play together on the pitch. My personal belief is that while boys don't require (or want) to be best buds with their team mates, it is an important factor in ensuring the longevity of a girl's team. I don't necessarily think that the team must be one huge hug factory, but I do think that getting along and trust go hand in hand.

My question is, can there be too much bonding, specifically in cliques. Can a small band of "sisters" make it more difficult for a team as a whole to fuse as one on the field? Do power groups form that make it difficult for team members in general to work together? Do small bonded groups tend to work more with each other and less with the "team?"

Your thoughts?

Girls must "like" each other in order to play "together". Girls that are not friends will not play together, they will play around each other, never becoming a cohesive unit. The truly great teams are the ones where the girls enjoy each other both on and off of the field.

Girls who form small "clicks" will deflect any attempts by others to join in. Also, the girls who form these small tight friendships are very insecure. They will run off potential players because they feel threatened.

I agree Nonny.

It's important but you can't artificially manufacture it and you can't fake it. Teammate loyalty and trust is earned. Earning it is the hard part.

Very true Gumby. However, it can be nurtured. We had a totally new mix of girls come together this last season - kind of a start over from a start over. As parents, we put together team bonding experiences for the girls. Our first one was at a facility out near Frisco where they went through team building exercises together. We also set up the team to be ball girls at a UNT Women's soccer match. And we all went as a group to an FC Dallas professional soccer game.

I wouldn't say that this type of thing easily translates to trust on the field, but I think it helped.

I tell my player to be professional, we may not always like people with whom we work, if you do find friends with whom you like to play, bonus! You still have a job to do, so do it well.

Hi Mid, on many levels I would agree with you. But being a woman, I also recognize that women (regardless of age) want to be liked. That is always a problem for us. My son has best buds, but he never felt the need to "bond." He could go out on the field and play football, slap high fives and finish the game and go. He never worried about anyone liking him - it really never entered his head. My DD on the other hand, wants to at least get along with everyone.

I do think the best of all worlds for girls is to be able to be business like in playing. Unfortunately, in my experience that rarely, completely happens.

I would be happy to pay you to come teach my DD how to do be that way though.

InaB wrote:I am wondering how much influence girl's bonding away from the pitch has on how well they play together on the pitch. My personal belief is that while boys don't require (or want) to be best buds with their team mates, it is an important factor in ensuring the longevity of a girl's team. I don't necessarily think that the team must be one huge hug factory, but I do think that getting along and trust go hand in hand.

My question is, can there be too much bonding, specifically in cliques. Can a small band of "sisters" make it more difficult for a team as a whole to fuse as one on the field? Do power groups form that make it difficult for team members in general to work together? Do small bonded groups tend to work more with each other and less with the "team?"

Your thoughts?

IMO and experience....Yes,small "cliques" can distrupt the cohesiveness of a team. I do not believe they all have to be "best" friends but they do have at least have the respect and trust for each other.

I second what mid said about the professionalism. We all know you wont get along with everyone in life but when you have to work with them you have to show a level of professionalism to get the job done. Personalities will clash and opinions will differ but if you can get past that and learn to respect someone for those differences then the goal can be acheived.

Howevah....teenage girls is whole different story. Hormones kick in, personalities change by the fleeting second. It's like an episode of The Exorcist! But I really dislike it when I hear people say, and I've heard this from coaches, teachers and parents, "girl's are caddy theres nothing you can do". Whether it be true or not, don't accept it just because its viewed as the norm, address it if it's a problem! Break up the cliques during practices, make them sit alone in a corner and have them talk about why they don't like each other. Heck, I don't have the right answer, its just bugs me when it's ignored or accepted as is.

With that said though and I agree with your response to mid it'd be great if they could all work like that...heck, it'd be a Christmas miracle!!

In the words of Rodney King..."Can't we all get along"! Human nature says no but dang we can at least try!

Chicks is crazy

InaB wrote:Hi Mid, on many levels I would agree with you. But being a woman, I also recognize that women (regardless of age) want to be liked. That is always a problem for us. My son has best buds, but he never felt the need to "bond." He could go out on the field and play football, slap high fives and finish the game and go. He never worried about anyone liking him - it really never entered his head. My DD on the other hand, wants to at least get along with everyone.

I do think the best of all worlds for girls is to be able to be business like in playing. Unfortunately, in my experience that rarely, completely happens.

I would be happy to pay you to come teach my DD how to do be that way though.

Ina, you are absolutely correct, boys do not seem concerned about whether the other players like them. They do tend to avoid drama, and that is an excellent example to provide to my DD, of course when I mention her older brother soccer days she just rolls her eyes and sighs, "whatever".

I am trying to help my player overlook the contentious nature of competition so she can focus on her abilities and not the drama. Which isn't always easy. Luckiy my DD has a very good professional relationship with her teammates, and while she may not spend time with them off of the the field, she genuinely respects her mates for their abilities on the field and does consider them friends. With my older daughter it was a little more difficult because she seemed to enjoy the drama.

My older daughter and I came across this Family Guy episode and I found a scene that oversimplifies the issue but is hilarious nonetheless.

LLLLLOOOOVVVVVEEEEE it Dad!