what happen after a good player is released

transplant ur over thinking it, should have just let her play out the year then moved on..

There is a stigma attached to those player releases. Every coach and manager immediately wants to know why you asked for a release. I do understand why. I'm certain some might feel we are difficult parents because we allowed/assisted our child in leaving a squad because we "signed a contract".

i think this is false coaches will happily snap up a good player,they are in it for themselves. now if the kid is good, but the kid and or the parents are crazy that's another situation. never stay where someone is making your kid lose his/her passion for the game.....

RunsLikeWind wrote:

Lefty wrote:

bigtex75081 wrote:

silentparent wrote:

bigtex75081 wrote:What is the status of the team we're talking about here? The "if one leaves others will want to" is a real concern if the coach and team are struggling. Is the team consistently on the wrong side of the scoreboard? Is the coach asking for more time to turn things around? Or does the team only have 13 players on the roster and 1 is currently injured?

If the release is being rejected because this family is trying to start an exodus, then I get it. If they want to go because the team is losing games and doesn't have the patience to see things through, I get it. I never understood the "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." mentality. To me, that's the easy way out for squirrely people to avoid obstacles and put in real effort and improve themselves.

I don't know what the case is here but I've seen a lot of folks that think their kid’s team should never lose a game. To avoid being on a losing team, they'd rather just quit. They're not willing to risk their kids' soccer team being blown out 0-5 because that's not their family's way. Their kids are winners and can't accept losing... whatever. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

(I'm in the mood to argue. )

All valid points. However, i think things usually are pretty bad when a player and their parents decide to upset their routine, leave friends, and have to look for new teams and undergo the stress of all that. I really think people are at the end of their rope for whatever reason and a full release should be an easy thing to get. This is not the pros and what is best for the child as determined by their parents should take precedence. Now on the flip side i don't think they should be refunded their money just unconditionally released, the coach should have zero say in it. It should always favor the child.

Sorry if I am hijacking this thread. This is all hypothetical, of course, because we don’t know the circumstances around this particular situation…

Let’s say that the coach committed to carrying a small roster because he liked the kids that he had and didn’t see value in adding a 15th and 16th player. By doing that, he created a dependent relationship on each of those families. The families readily accepted this arrangement. Unfortunately, the team though wasn’t as good as they thought and now they’re struggling to win games. Because the team isn’t winning, families are starting to grumble and they want to get out. Losing isn't acceptable in the USA. The coach knows that things hang in a shaky balance and just a couple wins might be the fix the team needs. A release of a good player would unravel everything.

We see folks on here all the time that AREN’T willing to fight through a tough season. Instead of getting a ton of minutes on a struggling team and potentially getting the in-game experience that it takes to become a star… they’d rather just quit. They’d rather just buy the 16th (or 18th) spot on a winning team instead.

Maybe that’s where the hints of America’s wussification is coming from… Parents don’t have the patience to see their kids struggle and eventually overcome. They just want to see their kids win all the time, right away. They want their kids to be winners but they don’t have the patience to let their kids LEARN how to become real winners by fighting their way to the top. It’s easier just to come on a message board and get the list of top-5 team in NTX instead.

Your assumption seems to be based on everyone wanting to move to a winning team. What are your thoughts on all the other situations? Say where the kid is not good enough to compete at the level and would like to move to a lesser team or one that is a better fit?

Agreed, Bigtex you seem to have a myopic view this morning that the only reason kids ask for a release is because their parents want them on a winning team. What about:

1. The coach tells you before signing that you will play at least 50% of each game and when the season starts you go two games in a row without getting on the field?

2. The coach decides he doesn't need to show up for practices on a regular basis and cancels on a regular basis?

3. The team turns out to be just too good for you kid to get any playing time on and you need to be on a lower level team?


Also, the situation mentioned above where the coach quits on the team. All of these seem like good reasons to get out of the siutation and SilentParent is right, you should always side with what is best for the player.

Like I said, this is all hypothetical. I don’t know the details of this situation or other situations. I do think parents always need to work in the best interest of their child in this market. Obviously there are a lot of different circumstances that build into a decision to request a release.

I don’t think “Not winning enough games” is a valid reason though. The coolest fortune cookie I ever got said this, “The man on the top of the mountain did not fall there.” If you pull a kid from a team simply because they aren’t winning, are you really giving your kid the chance to know what it takes to climb to the top?

People signing bad contracts is a real issue in this market. Personally, I think it would be a HUGE benefit to the customers here in NTX if the 1-year contract was replaced by 6-month contracts instead. (And the complacency that txtransplant described would likely be positively impacted by this simple change.)

silentparent wrote:There is a stigma attached to those player releases. Every coach and manager immediately wants to know why you asked for a release. I do understand why. I'm certain some might feel we are difficult parents because we allowed/assisted our child in leaving a squad because we "signed a contract".

i think this is false coaches will happily snap up a good player,they are in it for themselves. now if the kid is good, but the kid and or the parents are crazy that's another situation. never stay where someone is making your kid lose his/her passion for the game.....

I think it's a fair concern to have if you know someone willing quit on a team before. What were the circumstances? If the answer is, "We weren't doing very good." or "We struggled." then I would be very wary to sign them. The concern would be that if the sh!t hits the fan here, are these people going to be the first ones to turn tail and run.

"Within days after signing, things went downhill. I can only assume he was happy he had his roster numbers and was content with that. The coach turned down opportunities to scrimmage other squads prior to the QT. Even went as far as cancelling the last practice prior to QT"

this is a nightmare scenario, the fraud scenario. where he has your money but then goofs off and doesn't do his job. this team will most likely implode and be gone before the next signing date. the crappy thing is they take your money and then your only recourse is to leave and usually empty handed. buyer beware!

bigtex75081 wrote:I think it's a fair concern to have if you know someone willing quit on a team before. What were the circumstances? If the answer is, "We weren't doing very good." or "We struggled." then I would be very wary to sign them. The concern would be that if the sh!t hits the fan here, are these people going to be the first ones to turn tail and run.

Absolutely. And no matter how politely we try to explain things, and trust me when I say there were several more reasons than I listed, I always fear we will come off as complaining whiners no matter what. Everyone is hesitant. We get that.

Luckily, we have found most coaches, managers, parents are willing to give our DD and us the benefit of the doubt.

OK here goes, as everyone knows by reading my previous posts this will probably be a long one but if you have commented on this or are reading this you will defenitly be interested in what I say!
Most of you know what team I represent and I will not, as per forum etiquette name names. I am sure that the orginal poster of this topic/thread did not mean for it to go this far and get so nasty about the coach but since he did continue to participate and not set things straight, LET ME DO SO, since I was part of the 3 people that had this conversation ..... I know this dd and she is rostered on my team, there was an issue with some sideline chatter in regards to the coach, of which it needed to be addressed. They separated after speaking with the dd parent stating he has no problem and of course he would stay. His words "where am I going to go,my DD decides most where she wants to play" I spoke to him after the meeting on the sideline and advised him to do the right thing and stick to his decision or let us know of his alternate plans ASAP before starting our league games. He again said everythings good. But as I expected, he went home and sent an email requesting the release. Coach APPROVED THE RELEASE immediately!! However when it was sent to parent he refused to sign because it did not allow him to switch clubs. This is very common and expected to only release to rec play for the rest of the season. Every parent who signs a contract with our team is advised verbally and with copies of the contract so it is very clear how it works. I have even advised this very parent that the coach would only release to rec play if someone ever left the team. It would be up to North Texas Socer to override that decision if they found it necessary. The release to rec soccer is the best of both worlds as far as I am concerned, as stated in a previous posting his daughter can play rec ad be a superstar and continue to search for a club/team while guest playing with them in tournaments. The alternative for this parent, the one is asking for, will stick him in another club with another contract, that to him means nothing to him! This player is a good player for our team, however we are NOT going down hill as someone previously mentioned, we just won a Championship game without this player in attendance. We are sad to lose her but we are not concerned for the welfare of the team that is why the coach had no problem with the release! As you may have figured out by now who the coach is and who I am, you will now know that neither of us are the antichrist. Just sayin'

Frankly your post is dishonest and bullcrap Imo.. He took the money and is happy to release her to not play. He should give a full release and let her go to find a team that fits her and not be held hostage at 10 years old.

silentparent wrote:Frankly your post is dishonest and bullcrap Imo.. He took the money and is happy to release her to not play. He should give a full release and let her go to find a team that fits her and not be held hostage at 10 years old.

Please explain my dishonest part. You can certainly have your opinion to the outcome but not to the facts.

I'm just saying the coach is at least on a first name basis with the anti christ. You gave no reason to not let a 10yr old girl find another team. Lots of excuses and problems with the dad but nothing that justifies telling a little girl that she can't play select (which is what you are doing). Either A you are saying that you are a good player and we don't want to compete against you or B we are angry and our feeling are hurt so we will deny you the opportunity to play or I guess there is always C you guys are just Aholes. The dad should challenge the release at NTX at hope they are at least wiser. The coach and you should look at yourselves and try to remeber this is supposed to be about the kids and not yourself. I would love to hear the reasons for not giving a full release. Not the "well we told everybody beforhand"

BTW my bb's coach had a kid ask for a release and he gave him his full release so he could find another team that hopefully suited him better and then wished him the best.

justsayin02 wrote:OK here goes, as everyone knows by reading my previous posts this will probably be a long one but if you have commented on this or are reading this you will defenitly be interested in what I say!
Most of you know what team I represent and I will not, as per forum etiquette name names. I am sure that the orginal poster of this topic/thread did not mean for it to go this far and get so nasty about the coach but since he did continue to participate and not set things straight, LET ME DO SO, since I was part of the 3 people that had this conversation ..... I know this dd and she is rostered on my team, there was an issue with some sideline chatter in regards to the coach, of which it needed to be addressed. They separated after speaking with the dd parent stating he has no problem and of course he would stay. His words "where am I going to go,my DD decides most where she wants to play" I spoke to him after the meeting on the sideline and advised him to do the right thing and stick to his decision or let us know of his alternate plans ASAP before starting our league games. He again said everythings good. But as I expected, he went home and sent an email requesting the release. Coach APPROVED THE RELEASE immediately!! However when it was sent to parent he refused to sign because it did not allow him to switch clubs. This is very common and expected to only release to rec play for the rest of the season. Every parent who signs a contract with our team is advised verbally and with copies of the contract so it is very clear how it works. I have even advised this very parent that the coach would only release to rec play if someone ever left the team. It would be up to North Texas Socer to override that decision if they found it necessary. The release to rec soccer is the best of both worlds as far as I am concerned, as stated in a previous posting his daughter can play rec ad be a superstar and continue to search for a club/team while guest playing with them in tournaments. The alternative for this parent, the one is asking for, will stick him in another club with another contract, that to him means nothing to him! This player is a good player for our team, however we are NOT going down hill as someone previously mentioned, we just won a Championship game without this player in attendance. We are sad to lose her but we are not concerned for the welfare of the team that is why the coach had no problem with the release! As you may have figured out by now who the coach is and who I am, you will now know that neither of us are the antichrist. Just sayin'

I'm confused by your post. You mention 'my team', so I'm assuming you are a player or coach. If not, then you seem to fit pretty well in the Anti-Christ Manager category.

I was thinking the same

If the family wants a release because the team isn't winning enough, then a release to Rec is the only thing they should be given. They can go win in Rec.

If everything the coach has committed to for that player (gets playtime, the family is treated fairly, leadership communicates what is going on, the coach works hard for the family, etc.) is being satisfied EXCEPT the team isn't winning games... then a release to Rec is more than fair.

I don’t think “Not winning enough games” is a valid reason for a competitive release.

go99 wrote:I'm just saying the coach is at least on a first name basis with the anti christ. You gave no reason to not let a 10yr old girl find another team. Lots of excuses and problems with the dad but nothing that justifies telling a little girl that she can't play select (which is what you are doing). Either A you are saying that you are a good player and we don't want to compete against you or B we are angry and our feeling are hurt so we will deny you the opportunity to play or I guess there is always C you guys are just Aholes. The dad should challenge the release at NTX at hope they are at least wiser. The coach and you should look at yourselves and try to remeber this is supposed to be about the kids and not yourself. I would love to hear the reasons for not giving a full release. Not the "well we told everybody beforhand"

BTW my bb's coach had a kid ask for a release and he gave him his full release so he could find another team that hopefully suited him better and then wished him the best.

bigtex75081 wrote:
If the family wants a release because the team isn't winning enough

Check - parent blames it on coaches "style"

bigtex75081 wrote:
If everything the coach has committed to for that player......is being satisfied EXCEPT the team isn't winning games... then a release to Rec is more than fair.

Check - agreed

bigtex75081 wrote:
(gets playtime

Check - DD is a starter and plays most the game

bigtex75081 wrote:
the family is treated fairly,

Check

bigtex75081 wrote:
leadership communicates what is going on

Check

bigtex75081 wrote:
the coach works hard for the family

Check

"I have even advised this very parent that the coach would only release to rec play if someone ever left the team. It would be up to North Texas Socer to override that decision if they found it necessary. "


this is very telling, why would you not release a ten year old to play wherever she wishes? you have been paid, you are not a pro organization, she is a child. this is supposed to be about promoting youth soccer. Are you so concerned with winning that you would hold a 10 year old hostage? that is just pathetic, and even more pathetic that you need the ntx board to get you to do the right thing...

Just Saying: I have to agree that the manager should have no input in this matter.
If I was a coach and one of my players wants to leave, for whatever reason, I would give the full release, no questions asked and move on. Clearly in this case the parents aren't happy and the player wants out. Release and move on. Saves everybody a headache and a we say they say match.

Personally I would just give a full release. As long as it doesn't leave my team too depleted and the obligations to the team had been fulfilled. I think it is best to have everyone pushing in the same direction together rather that just have them hanging around. Think of it this way. He could have just stayed on the team and complained the whole time and made you all miserable. As far as the "meeting" goes the team, coach, manager do not controll the parents as much as they often think they do. Sending him on to be someone elses problem just seems to be the easiest thing to do. Don't know if the dad is a problem or not (that seems to be the suggestion) but a innocent 10 yr old is caught in the mix and it makes you guys as big of an Ahole as him

I agree with you all that a 10 year-old should not be trapped in a situation that's unfair to them. The contracts that we, the customers, tolerate in this market are so stupid they're just silly. (Ever tried explaining the contract system and the costs we have here to someone outside NTX? They look at you like you're a moron.)

But who's really asking for a release? Is it the child on their own fruition? Or is it the constantly complaining adult (that complains in front of their DD to and from every game and practice) that wants the release? Does a 10 year-old understand the difference between a Competitive Release versus a Recreational Release?

If getting a Competitive Release was considerably easier, then every team with a losing record would be in jeopardy of folding at any given time. And this goes back to my original concern when I first posted this morning... parents don't have the patience to allow their child to fail... then adapt... then improve... and then eventually overcome. Parents don't want to see their kids develop. They would rather quit for their child and sign on with a winning team instead.

silentparent wrote:"I have even advised this very parent that the coach would only release to rec play if someone ever left the team. It would be up to North Texas Socer to override that decision if they found it necessary. "


this is very telling, why would you not release a ten year old to play wherever she wishes? you have been paid, you are not a pro organization, she is a child. this is supposed to be about promoting youth soccer. Are you so concerned with winning that you would hold a 10 year old hostage? that is just pathetic, and even more pathetic that you need the ntx board to get you to do the right thing...

This is the last participation in this conversation I will make, I stated the facts and I also stated that I believe that the starter of this topic had well intentions: to ask a question and hopefully get some honest answers, not opinions from some that think the know why things happen or dont happen. Whether a coach or anybody agrees with the contract length, rules or even existance is irrelevant at this point, it does exist. The coach is required to follow all the contract stipulations and yet when a parent signs the contract, on behalf of their dd, it should mean nothing? Then when a coach agrees to allow the parent to break his contracted word, he is critisized for not doing it exactly the way the parent wants,huh? Should there be any requirements of the dd to fulfill or is it all one sided? If this dd was very unhappy with the team or coach or didnt get playtime or even purhaps was an overwhelming better player than the rest of the whole team and just was not a good fit, I would have empathy for the dd having to be realeased to rec but this was not the situation. As I said before a release to rec is the best circumstance in my opinion, especially if you are not sure of where you want to be next season. You can guest play with many different teams, teams that probably would like to have opportunity to check out your dd before June as well and you could have the experience with the team so you can find the best coach for your daughter and not have to break another contract. That is not good for any DD's reputation either. Is it really that bad for a team to have a reputation of upholding their contracts? I find it comforting that I dont have to worry about half of the team leaving if we have a losing streak and I also love that my daughter felt very special and important to have a big girl contract and at the end of it will know that she fulfilled her duties to it. Does the contract really mean anything if there is no consequence to breaking it?
Again, last posting I will make, I feel bad that I even contributed in the first place. I just feel that a contract should mean something. Up until now this family and DD has been an asset to our team and it has been a pleasure to know them all! She is a beautiful and talented young lady and I wish her the best!

this is a good read on whats wrong in ntx. adults worrying about fulfilling a "contract"rather than promoting youth soccer. i will not argue with this person because he/she is a rules person. regardless of the circumstances, justice or compassion, rules are what run these peoples lives. i find it particularly galling that despite having been paid a lot of money, they still have the nerve to hide behind a "contract" and hold a 10 year old hostage. truly shameful.....

'If getting a Competitive Release was considerably easier, then every team with a losing record would be in jeopardy of folding at any given time. And this goes back to my original concern when I first posted this morning... parents don't have the patience to allow their child to fail... then adapt... then improve... and then eventually overcome. Parents don't want to see their kids develop. They would rather quit for their child and sign on with a winning team instead.'

There you go speaking for eveyone again.

How do you explain that some parents actually have their dd's play up so they are competing against bigger, stronger, faster kids where they will struggle, adapt and develop their game?

Others dd's stay on losing teams for years because the dd's enjoy the girls, coach and parents i.e. the experience?

Not everyone one is focused on wins today.

Lefty wrote:'If getting a Competitive Release was considerably easier, then every team with a losing record would be in jeopardy of folding at any given time. And this goes back to my original concern when I first posted this morning... parents don't have the patience to allow their child to fail... then adapt... then improve... and then eventually overcome. Parents don't want to see their kids develop. They would rather quit for their child and sign on with a winning team instead.'

There you go speaking for eveyone again.

How do you explain that some parents actually have their dd's play up so they are competing against bigger, stronger, faster kids where they will struggle, adapt and develop their game?

Others dd's stay on losing teams for years because the dd's enjoy the girls, coach and parents i.e. the experience?

Not everyone one is focused on wins today.

Geesh Lefty, you’re taking things personal today. Sorry, my bad, I wrote “Parents don't want...” When I should have wrote, “Some parents don't want...” Surely there have been worse typos on this forum in the past.

I noticed that you aren’t saying that NO parents are out there with winning as their top priority.

We all know this board. We all know that about once every week somebody posts something like, “My DD is looking for a top-5 team. We don’t care how long we have to drive.” Really??? It has to be a top-5 team, huh? It can’t be the top-50 team that practices 1 mile from your house? That top-50 team that has a dedicated coach and a roster full of your DD’s school friends? Your superstar DD can’t go to that team, play 95% of every game (if not more) and help turn that top-50 team into a top-25 team? No? It has to be a top-5 team, huh? No matter the distance or the costs to your DD and the family? You have to win every game, huh?

bigtex75081 wrote:

Lefty wrote:'If getting a Competitive Release was considerably easier, then every team with a losing record would be in jeopardy of folding at any given time. And this goes back to my original concern when I first posted this morning... parents don't have the patience to allow their child to fail... then adapt... then improve... and then eventually overcome. Parents don't want to see their kids develop. They would rather quit for their child and sign on with a winning team instead.'

There you go speaking for eveyone again.

How do you explain that some parents actually have their dd's play up so they are competing against bigger, stronger, faster kids where they will struggle, adapt and develop their game?

Others dd's stay on losing teams for years because the dd's enjoy the girls, coach and parents i.e. the experience?

Not everyone one is focused on wins today.

Geesh Lefty, you’re taking things personal today. Sorry, my bad, I wrote “Parents don't want...” When I should have wrote, “Some parents don't want...” Surely there have been worse typos on this forum in the past.

I noticed that you aren’t saying that NO parents are out there with winning as their top priority.

We all know this board. We all know that about once every week somebody posts something like, “My DD is looking for a top-5 team. We don’t care how long we have to drive.” Really??? It has to be a top-5 team, huh? It can’t be the top-50 team that practices 1 mile from your house? That top-50 team that has a dedicated coach and a roster full of your DD’s school friends? Your superstar DD can’t go to that team, play 95% of every game (if not more) and help turn that top-50 team into a top-25 team? No? It has to be a top-5 team, huh? No matter the distance or the costs to your DD and the family? You have to win every game, huh?

Yes there are some who are looking to get their DD on a top 5 team.

What I don't get is why you see that as such a bad thing? Depending on your DD's aspirations and goals, that may be very important to them in acheiving their goals.

Why is that any worse than someone who does not want their DD on a D1 team, but wants to focus on the experience in a less competitive environment?

Lefty wrote:

bigtex75081 wrote:

Lefty wrote:'If getting a Competitive Release was considerably easier, then every team with a losing record would be in jeopardy of folding at any given time. And this goes back to my original concern when I first posted this morning... parents don't have the patience to allow their child to fail... then adapt... then improve... and then eventually overcome. Parents don't want to see their kids develop. They would rather quit for their child and sign on with a winning team instead.'

There you go speaking for eveyone again.

How do you explain that some parents actually have their dd's play up so they are competing against bigger, stronger, faster kids where they will struggle, adapt and develop their game?

Others dd's stay on losing teams for years because the dd's enjoy the girls, coach and parents i.e. the experience?

Not everyone one is focused on wins today.

Geesh Lefty, you’re taking things personal today. Sorry, my bad, I wrote “Parents don't want...” When I should have wrote, “Some parents don't want...” Surely there have been worse typos on this forum in the past.

I noticed that you aren’t saying that NO parents are out there with winning as their top priority.

We all know this board. We all know that about once every week somebody posts something like, “My DD is looking for a top-5 team. We don’t care how long we have to drive.” Really??? It has to be a top-5 team, huh? It can’t be the top-50 team that practices 1 mile from your house? That top-50 team that has a dedicated coach and a roster full of your DD’s school friends? Your superstar DD can’t go to that team, play 95% of every game (if not more) and help turn that top-50 team into a top-25 team? No? It has to be a top-5 team, huh? No matter the distance or the costs to your DD and the family? You have to win every game, huh?

Yes there are some who are looking to get their DD on a top 5 team.

What I don't get is why you see that as such a bad thing? Depending on your DD's aspirations and goals, that may be very important to them in acheiving their goals.

Why is that any worse than someone who does not want their DD on a D1 team, but wants to focus on the experience in a less competitive environment?

My honest answer… I don’t like that we insist on applying adult values and sensibilities on a children’s game.

Like winning for example… Have you ever been with a u08 after they lose a game? How long does it take for a u08 to let it go? About as long as it takes for the post-game snacks to be distributed. But who’s still brooding when the family gets in the car? The parents. The parents want to push the issue and get explanations for what went wrong.

Have you ever heard a u05 coach claim that his kids keep score? I have. Have you ever seen a post from a parent insisting that their DD must be on a top-5 team? I have. Have you ever heard a parent claim that their DD would rather sit on the bench to earn her minutes instead of playing in the actual game itself? I have.

Soccer is a game. It’s a game like any other game. It’s intended to be fun. Would you make your DD sit and watch you play Monopoly because she hasn’t earned her playtime yet? Would you make her sign a contract to play Monopoly for the upcoming year? Would you make her accountable for a $2,500 contract if she decided she didn’t want to play Monopoly with you anymore?

We insist on applying an adults’ mindset to a game for children. Is sports a good way to learn about important things in life? Yes, most definitely, but we don’t need to force those lessons down the kids' throats.

tex, agree whole heartedly