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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by cain909 on 08/07/13, 08:31 am

My boy soccersounder gave me a call yesterday and told me he missed me.


I told him thanks, but I'm too busy trying to undersdtand what just went on with the Solar 99 ECNL Team...


Great Team... I thought at times during the year, they were top 3 or so in the Country. Definetly have a "puncher's chance" at Nationals this week. But a little less of a chance now. This weekend, Coach tells one of his families that did not committ to the team on Saturdays signing day, that some of the parents and him got together and decided that the player (14 year old girl, remind you) will not be going to Nationals!!?? Parent says, but I have already bought and paid for the trip?? Coach, well she can go, but she wont' play!!??

Many points..... But this is a player that I know first hand works harder than most other kids, will run through a wall for the team and WAS VERY EXCITED about playing Nationals.. And the family, who decided thay would play elswhere next year was not a distraction. Kept their mouths shut, unlike others in the same situation.. (Is there ever a good way to leave a team?)

Great job by this Youth Soccer Coach... Great job by the parents who opened their mouths too. Who runs the team? What Rocket Scientist decided to hold Signing Day before Nationals????

I don't know much about this coach, but this guy was a classless joke of a leader of young people this weekend.. And the parents who I know for certain were envolved (all readers in here) should be ashamed...
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by soccersounder on 08/07/13, 08:33 am

And before any readers not "in the know" see cain909's "first post".. I am him and he is me...

I feel the same way Wink 
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by geno105 on 08/07/13, 09:35 am

All I've heard since ECNL started was that coaches run the show and parents have no input. How can a coach allow something like this to happen when he's running the show?
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Post by Just an Observer on 08/07/13, 09:41 am

If the player was on the roster that earned the right to play at Nationals she should be allowed to be part of the team for that event. I might understand if it was a problem player/family that was trying to convince other players to leave but it doesn't seem to be the case in this event. I'm sorry for the young girl who is experiencing this obviously bad example of a coaching decision (and bad example by the adult parents who were involved in the back room discussion of said player.)

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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by soccersounder on 08/07/13, 09:47 am

geno105 wrote:All I've heard since ECNL started was that coaches run the show and parents have no input.  How can a coach allow something like this to happen when he's running the show?

Coach told the family, I'm only playing the players who are committed for next year?? WTF? Well, he has 2 or 3 others who have not committed yet either.. Wonder if they will play??

And what does next year have to do with this kid helping this team reach Nationals THIS YEAR, just to have coach tell her, you can't play..
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Post by wittymgr on 08/07/13, 09:59 am

I thought ECNL players cannot "commit" until August 1st each year...
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Post by LL Frisco on 08/07/13, 10:03 am

I feel for the kid and parent both. The kid as she doesn't fully understand the politics of it all. The parents as they have to deal with room cancellations/plane ticket transfer fees etc.

This is a text book reason why you should wait to have the signing party until season is completely finished. Nobody has to show there hand and the coach avoids third party pressure. This was a rookie mistake by a season coach/DOC.

My family had a similar situation last year. We were leaving the team however we decided to send our dd to regionals with the team. To her former coach's credit it didn't affect her playing time one bit. She didn't come off the field. He even let her take a important pk to tie the game in the semis. He didn't bit off his nose to spite his face.

Just my two cents

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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by soccersounder on 08/07/13, 10:54 am

wittymgr wrote:I thought ECNL players cannot "commit" until August 1st each year...

You might be right. Our ECNL team did not sign 1 single thing committing us to the ECNL team last year. As an ECNL Club, you should operate to be an attractive choice that parents WANT to be a part of and not some insecure bunch that has to manipulate a situation just to try and keep kids...
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Post by fatherofoneplayer on 08/07/13, 11:21 am

Perhaps AS is feeling the Pulp effect. He cannot be feeling very secure right now.
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by golgolgol on 08/07/13, 11:34 am

soccersounder wrote:Coach told the family, I'm only playing the players who are committed for next year?? WTF? Well, he has 2 or 3 others who have not committed yet either.. Wonder if they will play??

And what does next year have to do with this kid helping this team reach Nationals THIS YEAR, just to have coach tell her, you can't play..

This happened on an FCD ECNL team. Several kids were told they were 'not invited' to attend the Colorado event, even though they were on the roster, paid up, and pre-paid hotels and meals for that trip. Coach said they 'lost their spot' and would have to try out for the team again, and brought in several new players that he wanted for next year, added them to the current year roster, and let them play in Colorado instead.


Last edited by golgolgol on 08/07/13, 11:35 am; edited 1 time in total
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by soccersounder on 08/07/13, 11:34 am

fatherofoneplayer wrote:Perhaps AS is feeling the Pulp effect. He cannot be feeling very secure right now.

Since cain909 showed up today, I'll go ahead and call you DOTS...

If you're right, that would be funny, because AS is claiming he sealed the deal in bringing Pulp over...
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by LL Frisco on 08/07/13, 11:35 am

fatherofoneplayer wrote:Perhaps AS is feeling the Pulp effect. He cannot be feeling very secure right now.

The way I understand that one is that AS did the hiring on that situation. I don't think he is too concerned about his security.

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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by soccersounder on 08/07/13, 11:37 am

golgolgol wrote:
soccersounder wrote:Coach told the family, I'm only playing the players who are committed for next year?? WTF? Well, he has 2 or 3 others who have not committed yet either.. Wonder if they will play??

And what does next year have to do with this kid helping this team reach Nationals THIS YEAR, just to have coach tell her, you can't play..

This happened on an FCD ECNL team. Several kids were told they were 'not invited' to attend the Colorado event, even though they were on the roster, paid up, and pre-paid hotels and meals for that trip. Coach said they 'lost their spot' and would have to try out for the team again, and brought in several new players that he wanted for next year, added them to the current year roster, and let them play in Colorado instead.

If that is the case, that is straight up embarrassing and unprofessional and really unethical...

Same as this Solar 99 situation with a different motivation.
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by fatherofoneplayer on 08/07/13, 11:57 am

soccersounder wrote:
fatherofoneplayer wrote:Perhaps AS is feeling the Pulp effect. He cannot be feeling very secure right now.

Since cain909 showed up today, I'll go ahead and call you DOTS...

If you're right, that would be funny, because AS is claiming he sealed the deal in bringing Pulp over...

My man cain has resurrected.

My ex-boss also brought me in and now he's gone and I'm the boss.
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by Guest on 08/07/13, 12:49 pm

I don't see all that much wrong with what the coach did. He told the family up front. It's not like he had them travel and then benched her.

And if the girl abandoned the team and everyone knows she committed to play elsewhere, why is the coach obligated to play her?

You say she works harder than anyone else. That may be true, but coaches play who they think gives them the best chance to win, both now, and in the future.

Very few deviations from that. Holds true almost always when it comes to big games.

I couldn't pick out AS from a lineup of Solar Coaches, but if said player was critical to his chances I doubt he'd replace her.

If playing a kid he knows is gone takes minutes from someone else just as good who is committed to the team, what's so wrong in the coach decided to roll with the players who ARE sticking with the team?

In order for the coach to take the hit in the eyes of the kids who are committed, said player would have to be indispensable to the team IMO.

i've seen the flip side where coach plays the kid anyway who is committed elsewhere...always two sides of a coin.

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Post by LL Frisco on 08/07/13, 12:58 pm

3-4-3 wrote:I don't see all that much wrong with what the coach did. He told the family up front. It's not like he had them travel and then benched her.

And if the girl abandoned the team and everyone knows she committed to play elsewhere, why is the coach obligated to play her?

You say she works harder than anyone else. That may be true, but coaches play who they think gives them the best chance to win, both now, and in the future.

Very few deviations from that. Holds true almost always when it comes to big games.

I couldn't pick out AS from a lineup of Solar Coaches, but if said player was critical to his chances I doubt he'd replace her.

If playing a kid he knows is gone takes minutes from someone else just as good who is committed to the team, what's so wrong in the coach decided to roll with the players who ARE sticking with the team?

In order for the coach to take the hit in the eyes of the kids who are committed, said player would have to be indispensable to the team IMO.

i've seen the flip side where coach plays the kid anyway who is committed elsewhere...always two sides of a coin.

I understand the points you have made. I think it was way late on the communication to parents. if this is the direction the coach was going than it should have been discussed a few months ago rather than 4 or 5 days before they leave for nationals. Very bad timing. It costs money to bail at this stage of the game and more importantly how it affects the dd. I hope it does not affect the team adversely as I am hoping for a good NTX showing in our age group for the first year of ecnl 99.

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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by soccersounder on 08/07/13, 01:02 pm

3-4-3 wrote:I don't see all that much wrong with what the coach did. He told the family up front. It's not like he had them travel and then benched her.

And if the girl abandoned the team and everyone knows she committed to play elsewhere, why is the coach obligated to play her?

You say she works harder than anyone else. That may be true, but coaches play who they think gives them the best chance to win, both now, and in the future.

Very few deviations from that. Holds true almost always when it comes to big games.

I couldn't pick out AS from a lineup of Solar Coaches, but if said player was critical to his chances I doubt he'd replace her.

If playing a kid he knows is gone takes minutes from someone else just as good who is committed to the team, what's so wrong in the coach decided to roll with the players who ARE sticking with the team?

In order for the coach to take the hit in the eyes of the kids who are committed, said player would have to be indispensable to the team IMO.

i've seen the flip side where coach plays the kid anyway who is committed elsewhere...always two sides of a coin.

"Said player" played in every game and started many during the year and is a big name on the stat sheet...

None of that matters.. Family paid for the year and the 14 year old player earned the chance to play in Nationals.. The year aint over... And he did not tell them anything upfront (and it would still not be right). He told them this past weekend (Saturday night) and the Nationals start Wednesday.. Miss me with that.. You have seen the "flip-side" because that is how it is suppose to be done.. Not this embarrassing unprofessional way AS handled his own mess
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Post by MaggieMaggie on 08/07/13, 01:08 pm

3-4-3 wrote:I don't see all that much wrong with what the coach did. He told the family up front. It's not like he had them travel and then benched her.

And if the girl abandoned the team and everyone knows she committed to play elsewhere, why is the coach obligated to play her?

You say she works harder than anyone else. That may be true, but coaches play who they think gives them the best chance to win, both now, and in the future.

Very few deviations from that. Holds true almost always when it comes to big games.

I couldn't pick out AS from a lineup of Solar Coaches, but if said player was critical to his chances I doubt he'd replace her.

If playing a kid he knows is gone takes minutes from someone else just as good who is committed to the team, what's so wrong in the coach decided to roll with the players who ARE sticking with the team?

In order for the coach to take the hit in the eyes of the kids who are committed, said player would have to be indispensable to the team IMO.

i've seen the flip side where coach plays the kid anyway who is committed elsewhere...always two sides of a coin.

This happened a couple of years ago with a player leaving Sting. Sting/coach were not happy but she went and played in the Nationals with Sting even though she was changing clubs. Awkward but she played her best despite everyone knowing she was leaving. Maybe the difference here was she was a key player and they very much needed her.
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by LL Frisco on 08/07/13, 01:11 pm

MaggieMaggie wrote:
3-4-3 wrote:I don't see all that much wrong with what the coach did. He told the family up front. It's not like he had them travel and then benched her.

And if the girl abandoned the team and everyone knows she committed to play elsewhere, why is the coach obligated to play her?

You say she works harder than anyone else. That may be true, but coaches play who they think gives them the best chance to win, both now, and in the future.

Very few deviations from that. Holds true almost always when it comes to big games.

I couldn't pick out AS from a lineup of Solar Coaches, but if said player was critical to his chances I doubt he'd replace her.

If playing a kid he knows is gone takes minutes from someone else just as good who is committed to the team, what's so wrong in the coach decided to roll with the players who ARE sticking with the team?

In order for the coach to take the hit in the eyes of the kids who are committed, said player would have to be indispensable to the team IMO.

i've seen the flip side where coach plays the kid anyway who is committed elsewhere...always two sides of a coin.

This happened a couple of years ago with a player leaving Sting.  Sting/coach were not happy but she went and played in the Nationals with Sting even though she was changing clubs.  Awkward but she  played her best despite everyone knowing she was leaving.  Maybe the difference here was she was a key player and they very much needed her.  

Or just maybe the difference was that the coach decided to honor the commitment he made to the player at beginning of the year? Just saying!!!

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Post by Guest on 08/07/13, 02:29 pm

3-4-3 wrote:I don't see all that much wrong with what the coach did. He told the family up front. It's not like he had them travel and then benched her.

And if the girl abandoned the team and everyone knows she committed to play elsewhere, why is the coach obligated to play her?

You say she works harder than anyone else. That may be true, but coaches play who they think gives them the best chance to win, both now, and in the future.

Very few deviations from that. Holds true almost always when it comes to big games.

I couldn't pick out AS from a lineup of Solar Coaches, but if said player was critical to his chances I doubt he'd replace her.

If playing a kid he knows is gone takes minutes from someone else just as good who is committed to the team, what's so wrong in the coach decided to roll with the players who ARE sticking with the team?

In order for the coach to take the hit in the eyes of the kids who are committed, said player would have to be indispensable to the team IMO.

i've seen the flip side where coach plays the kid anyway who is committed elsewhere...always two sides of a coin.


I agree with you here and can see both sides of the story. On the one hand, it is pretty bad to tell a girl she cant play after having been on the team all year, but on the other hand, she has already decided the team is not right for her and does not want to play with them anymore. If I am the coach, I want to move forward with the kids that are committed to being on the team next year and want to be there.

Having said that, if she was a major part of the team, I would let her play no matter what if it meant a difference in the upcoming games.


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Post by soccersounder on 08/07/13, 02:39 pm

Some of you folks are crazy...

Ask your coach if he or she would bow to parent pressure...

Ask yourself what you would do if this was your kid..... On 3 days notice...

2 of you have mentioned how important a player might be??? Are you really saying that? That would even make it worse!

But in this case, the kid is a baller..... Solar will see next year...

Give me a break... This is a no brainer... It is not even within the rules to be able to do it...
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Post by dadof3 on 08/07/13, 02:51 pm

soccersounder wrote:Some of you folks are crazy...

Ask your coach if he or she would bow to parent pressure...

Ask yourself what you would do if this was your kid..... On 3 days notice...

2 of you have mentioned how important a player might be??? Are you really saying that? That would even make it worse!

But in this case, the kid is a baller..... Solar will see next year...

Give me a break... This is a no brainer... It is not even within the rules to be able to do it...

I am with you here ss.  Unless there was some significant problem with her that required disciplinary action, I can't imagine NOT taking and playing a player who paid and earned it.  I have not said anything because second-hand information on a forum is not "good" evidence to me, but in theory, this situation as presented would go against any common sense and care for a kid.  I honestly can't see what a coach would GAIN from doing this unless he is letting the parents run the team and loses the rest of them if he DOESN'T act, and even still it seems cruel and heartless.


Last edited by dadof3 on 08/07/13, 02:56 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : changed to "information" from "speculation" because it sounded accusatory towards ss (unintended))
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by geno105 on 08/07/13, 03:31 pm

soccersounder wrote:Some of you folks are crazy...

Ask your coach if he or she would bow to parent pressure...

Ask yourself what you would do if this was your kid..... On 3 days notice...

2 of you have mentioned how important a player might be??? Are you really saying that? That would even make it worse!

But in this case, the kid is a baller..... Solar will see next year...

Give me a break... This is a no brainer... It is not even within the rules to be able to do it...

My first thought was about that kind of thing happening to my kid. The parents that forced their issue with AS don't appear to have been considering the affect on the kids. I can't imagine doing that or having it done to my kid. Especially when a week or so from now it would have all worked itself out and everyone could just have moved on with their soccer lives.
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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by Guest on 08/07/13, 05:17 pm

I think it's about entitlement.  Several posted this kid "paid" and "earned" a trip to nationals. No - she didn't.  She was a one member of a "team" that earned a trip to nationals.

She has since (apparently) made it known that she no longer wants to be a member of the team. But she feels ENTITLED to be treated the same as the rest of team because she "paid" and "earned".

You can't quit on a group and expect them to treat you the same. That's not how group dynamics work in life or in soccer.  Entitlement mentality says you "owe" me that playing time even though I'm quitting on you. As if loyalty were a one way street.

If I were the coach it wouldn't matter if you were the team captain and we had a snow balls chance in hades of winning anything without you.  You don't want to be a part of the team? Fair enough - I'll sink or swim with those who do and sleep with a clear conscience.  I'm not going to cave to the entitlement mentality of one player and send a message to all the other players that I care more about this player quitting than I do believing in the rest of the team. But then I don't pay bills with money from select soccer parents, so I'm in no position to judge those who would handle it differently.


If it was my kid I wouldn't be happy I got stuck with the travel costs, but it's unlikely I would've put her in that situation in the first place. If she was unhappy enough to quit the team, I can't see how she would be blown away that she couldn't play with them, and I doubt seriously I would've bought tickets for another trip knowing my daughter has made it publicly known she doesn't want to be on the team anymore. Usually by the time a player has made it known they're quitting a team, they've long since quit the team emotionally anyway, and are playing at the point primary for self or to be seen or to finish out the year.


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Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum Empty Re: Apparently The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

Post by Guest on 08/07/13, 05:24 pm

3-4-3 wrote:I think it's about entitlement.  Several posted this kid "paid" and "earned" a trip to nationals. No - she didn't.  She was a one member of a "team" that earned a trip to nationals.

She has since (apparently) made it known that she no longer wants to be a member of the team. But she feels ENTITLED to be treated the same as the rest of team because she "paid" and "earned".

You can't quit on a group and expect them to treat you the same. That's not how group dynamics work in life or in soccer.  Entitlement mentality says you "owe" me that playing time even though I'm quitting on you. As if loyalty were a one way street.

If I were the coach it wouldn't matter if you were the team captain and we had a snow balls chance in hades of winning anything without you.  You don't want to be a part of the team? Fair enough - I'll sink or swim with those who do and sleep with a clear conscience.  I'm not going to cave to the entitlement mentality of one player and send a message to all the other players that I care more about this player quitting  than I do believing in the rest of the team. But then I don't pay bills with money from select soccer parents, so I'm in no position to judge those who would handle it differently.


If it was my kid I wouldn't be happy I got stuck with the travel costs, but it's unlikely I would've put her in that situation in the first place. If she was unhappy enough to quit the team, I can't see how she would be blown away that she couldn't play with them, and I doubt seriously I would've bought tickets for another trip knowing my daughter has made it publicly known she doesn't want to be on the team anymore.  Usually by the time a player has made it known they're quitting a team, they've long since quit the team emotionally anyway, and are playing at the point primary for self or to be seen or to finish out the year.


sorry i imagine that the team required payment upfront several months in advance. either refund her money or let her go...anything else is robbery...

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